Mixed emotions

[charlotte1990]

Hi ladies.
So bit of confusion going on in my head at this time of year.
Last year I was around 7 weeks pregnant and Xmas day I started bleeding for a few weeks and when I had a scan 4th Jan they said I had to wait another week to go back to see if baby had grown and sadly it hadn't... I have an Erpc on the 13th Jan... I then also miscarried in June. But then I fell in July and I'm now 5 and half months pregnant... with the dates approaching of this sad time I had in my life last year I am so sad for what happend and am thinking of what would have been but I then think I am pregnant now and should be so grateful which of course I am but I have such mixed emotions and I don't know how I should feel. Many times people say you feel how you feel and people can't change how you feel. I think this is gonna be a hard few weeks until the date passes and then I'll be ok and will be so happy as my new little one will be here in April.x

Unfortunately there is no "should" with any of this, you just feel how you feel and can only try your best to get on with every day life until it passes. I always find forcing myself to do something relaxing or restful for a few hours helps if you can make the time e.g. watching a film, reading a book you've meant to for ages, and switching off from the internet and worrying for a bit. Do you have anyone you can confide in to keep an eye on you?

I lost a baby on the 9th of January. We went to a private scan on the 23rd of December to see our 11 week old bean and get photos to give to the family as our Christmas day announcement. Our baby had died. I'm 35 weeks along now with another baby and I still feel devestated by the loss. In my head I should have three children, despite that not being possible.

Anyway, I've just decided I'm going to feel sad when ever it strikes. I'm so excited for this baby and love her so much already, but you can't replace one baby with another. We've bought a special ornament for our tree. Good luck to you

Thanks ladies spoke to my mum and partner and feeling better now. Just needed to vent I think and know that I'm not feeling mad and my feelings are normal. Life sure is hard at times x