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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Witty retorts required to Have You Had The Baby?

40 replies

MumofChuckie · 13/12/2016 14:27

I'm 5 days overdue, and midwife has just confirmed she is 2/5 engaged but still high up. I'm going to assume this means I'm never going to give birth and I'll be pregnant forever. Or they'll realise it's just trapped wind.

But the daily texts, calls and emails are coming in thick and fast - has baby arrived? Any signs? Does it look like the baby will be here soon? I don't know, let me ask it.

Suggestions please. They can be as Pass Ag and sarcastic as you can make them. I'm too uncomfortable and miserable to be a nice person.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

shobob786 · 14/12/2016 12:07

has any of children suffered from a very bad accidents please tell school report

paddypants13 · 14/12/2016 12:32

I'd go with the suggestion up thread saying "what baby?" and follow it up with "are you saying I'm fat?"

But then I'm horrible! It does make me laugh when people say this to pregnant women. Do they think we'll give birth and just forget to mention it!!

Aki23 · 14/12/2016 13:09

I stopped answering the phone (even to my mother) and ignored all messages. Baby came 3 days late - in 3 hours from onset of pains to delivery. Nearly didn't make it to hospital. Just settle in and catch up on sleep and television.

I don't see the point of being sarcastic - only as they get all offended - my experience. Just put a message out that you will let them know when baby arrives.

Aki23 · 14/12/2016 13:10

To add to that I was 3&4/5 engaged for the two weeks prior to my due date and 1 then 2 centimetres all the way up until the morning of.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 14/12/2016 13:12

I've changed my mind.

"Can you believe it? I had a litter of puppies instead!"

Kione · 14/12/2016 14:31

I am nit overdue yet but my first was 11 days late. With Christmas approaching I am getting the question already. I just say "I wish" but my patience is not great some days.
I love the website reply!!! I am going to keep that :)

MrEBear · 14/12/2016 18:38

Nope & no signs!

Short and sweet, seriously I would avoid going into details 2/5 engaged etc that is nobody else's business.
I'd just had DS, MIL started going on about her friends daughters / dils pregnancy how engaged she was, pending induction / section bla bla, "so we'll both be grannies by Friday" Honestly I felt it was wrong that she was blabbing about this ladies private info. And not happy that it was more than likely my personal details had also been randomly discussed. I now avoid giving anyone my medical info.

PurpleTraitor · 14/12/2016 18:43

I only told people the season they were due in. 'In the spring' ' in the autumn' etc.

I didn't get big bumps either so I managed to avoid all stranger hassle too.

Put it on file for next time. In the meantime tell them to fuck off ;)

GinIsIn · 14/12/2016 18:45

"Yeah, but we didn't like it so we sent it back and got a refund"

OnTheUp13 · 14/12/2016 19:07

I had this answer on cut and paste ready to go:

"Well I've never had anyone be so interested in the ongoing of my vagina?! So when did you last open your bowels? Where would you mark it on the Bristol Stool Chart?" Attach picture of stool chart

WyfOfBathe · 15/12/2016 00:22

I went to a work Christmas thing last Friday, after less than week of mat leave (wasn't even due by then) and a colleague came up to me and asked "have you had the baby yet, then?" I really wanted to say "yes, but I left the newborn alone at home and stuffed a massive pillow up my jumper."

BendingSpoons · 15/12/2016 08:56

Text back a picture of a baby monkey, preferably in a tutu or something, saying 'Meet Princess Rainbow Sparkledust Brown' or similar...

Osirus · 15/12/2016 12:26

I hated this!

I remember locking the door and hiding upstairs every time I heard a car stop outside my house!

I was so stressed with it all.

In response to a daily "Any signs?!" text from MIL, I simply said "Nothing but you will be the first to know as soon as he or she arrives."

It probably annoyed her, but it worked! Didn't hear from her until my baby had been born. I did feel guilty, but the constant harassment and texts really pissed me off.

Kione · 23/12/2016 09:35

40+1 and it has already started. A friend and my cousin though it would come yesterday just because the dr said so! Asking me if I had contractions etc! Had to explain that its not how it works! Told everyone that texted that DD was 11 days late I don't feel anything and to chill and by 9 this mirning I had messages again from the one of them.
Its so difficult to remain calm and not to tell them to piss off!

Kione · 02/01/2017 14:47

So I have told a few frinds and family that I got admitted last night to be induced. They are still texting and asking if I've had the baby.
Even my sister!!! Don't they realise I will tell them when I do?? I am finding it really irritating.
I am sure I've managed to upset some people with my replies.

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