Convinced I was infertile.... Unexpectedly pregnant

[Scaredycat2016]

Hi,

For the last 10 years I have thought that I would never ever have children, it's affected me dramatically and I've only started to come to terms with it over the last year. The NHS refused to investigate until I was "trying to conceive" for a year although admitted that there was clearly a problem and I wasn't brave enough to push this as I knew I'd lose the plot if I had it confirmed that I'd never be a mum. I went to the doctors 3 times to ask for help over the last 10 years and everytime I left in floods of tears. I've spent the last couple of years filling my life with other things to try to fill the gap that not having a family has left. I'm 30 by the way.

Last week I found out I was pregnant. By my maths around 5-6 weeks. Midwife doesnt want to see me until I'm 8weeks but I've booked an appointment. Obviously I'm incredibly shocked and scared. I'm not in a perfect relationship as such, things are very complicated and as such I will be bringing baby up on my own but with support from my family. I realise this isn't ideal but I cannot even consider a termination, I know I wouldn't cope with it and this baby will be so very loved. The idea of being a single mum doesn't scare me massively to be honest. What I'm struggling with is getting my head around what's happened, I just can't seem to compute it my head that I'm actually pregnant having been so convinced that I never would be. I almost feel numb and I thought I'd feel ecstatic! It just seems unreal.

Has anyone else been in a similar position to this?

Thanks x

If you've never tried to conceive how could you know you were infertile?

Congratulations on your pregnancy

Because I was never trying to conceive per say but agreed with my ex of 5 years that we wouldn't use anything and if it happened it happened.... It never did.

And thanks. X

Not using contraception is 'trying to conceive', to all intents and purposes.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!

It sounds like the problem might have been with your ex! Congratulations.

Exactly however ex wasn't supportive at all (hence being ex) so wouldn't go to doctors or anything with me and I was too scared.

Now I don't know if I'm scared or in a permanent state of shock x

And who knows, either way I've now had no less than 10 positive tests so I'm definitely cooking something lol! X

Congratulations .

You are still in shock, hence the numbness. All perfectly normal. The best thing now is to look after yourself. Get lots of sleep, eat well and take folic acid. Everything else will get sorted, in time. But the first trimester can be exhausting, so look after yourself.

Oh and be prepared. Midwives etc really have no interest in you until you are much, much further along.

Thank you... I was beginning to think I was some sort of freak! The tiredness is crazy... I have a very busy lifestyle anyway but Jesus I'm knackered which surprised me and is making the lack of strong coffee even harder ha! X

Congratulations OP

I think the PP meant that the fertility problem was possibly with your ex. Just because you tried to conceive for 5 years and didn't, doesn't mean the issue was with you.
Hope it all works out for you.

Congratulations. Its bound to be a shock even when you try for a baby seeing 2 lines on a stick is still a shock. It will all work out x

Well ex had kids before me so just presumed it was me and I did have ridiculous periods going months at a time without etc.

Thanks for the positivity.... Glad it's not just me that thinks its a massive shock! X

Congratulations! What a wonderful and unexpected surprise, and a wonderful chance at a new beginning with the new special little person about to enter your life!

Congrats that's amazing!

Moi. She's 12 now and a beautiful intelligent girl. With an attitude.
Seriously, was convinced I was infertile having not really used much contraception either before or since.
Like you, an absence of periods for two years. Then pregnancy. And a bastard who changed his number when I told him I was pregnant.
She is infinitely better off without him.
My extended family have largely reared her alongside me due to pnd and other shite.
Be wary of pnd given the circumstances.
Other than that it's fabulous.

Oh and yes, it's a massive shock. And even worse when they arrive. But the bond you'll have will transcend no sleep for weeks and relatives sticking their oar in

My and DH had not prevented for 6 years, but really started to try the last 3 years with finding out husband had a fertility problem. We was told we needed IVF. As we both getting towards 40 we decided not to bother so we adopted a baby girl......

1 month later i was pregnant!!!. I had however lost a bit of weight never the less i got/am pregnant.

Congratulations

Thankyou everyone. It's so nice to hear other peoples stories and that I'm not some terrible person for being in a constant state of shock as opposed to ecstatic!
It's strange how these things happen isn't it. X