Depressed about pregnancy, can anyone help me see a positive side?

[AmyLou777]

Hi everyone, I know people on here are generally so happy over their pregnancies and that's great but for me this unplanned pregnancy really does feel like the end of the world. I am 21 and not ready to be over my party stage of life yet, and have no interest in becoming a mother yet find myself 20 weeks pregnant due to my pill not working because of antibiotics . I find it hard to get out of bed because I mourn my old life so much, my boyfriend and everyone is very supportive but I don't care I just see this as a prison sentance which i am going to be stuck with forever :( I literally can see no positives what so ever, I've never even held a baby before and if my boyfriend and his family werent so excited I would have an abortion right this minute:( is there anything I can do to try see some kind of positive as I can not keep living like this.. what exactly is good about being a mother? :(

Sorry you are feeling this way Amy. You may not be able to speak to family about this if they are very excited but have you spoken to your midwife? They may be able to help.

You shouldn't be having a baby just because other people are excited, do what you want to do. You are young and if its not right its not right.

Don't continue it because your BF and his family want you to if you don't want to. It's dangerous territory. Have you spoken to BPAS for some counselling? You could still have an abortion although you'd need to act quite quickly if this is what you wanted.

I can see you're looking for positives so I'll share my story. I was 19 when I got pregnant unexpectedly, I was at uni and loved partying and found the adjustment really difficult, especially when my friends were still going out having a good time.

But my daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I had antenatal depression and it sounds like you may be struggling with similar. Talk to your midwife about how you're feeling.

I love motherhood. I've still had nights out since she was born. She's 2 and a half and I've been out for the night, I've stayed away in hotels - you aren't required to give up your entire life. Everything changes but it has been amazing, I look at her now and she's my best friend, she completes my life in every way.

I think talking to someone about how you feel would be a very good idea. no one will judge you and people will understand; it's a total culture shock and stirs up crazy feelings.

I agree that talking to someone independent is a good idea. You must be feeling a bit suffocated if everyone else is excited when you're not. It's easy to be excited about a baby that won't represent huge changes to your body and life.

My baby was planned so I was in a different frame of mind to you. It was difficult to know what it would be like. It's the best thing I ever did. I think most people feel like that, but having a baby will not fix depression. Please get some help so you can think more clearly and not feel so overwhelmed.