37 and childless

[user1481477994]

Hello. I was hoping I could get some advice as i'm so confused. I am 37 and my husband and I have still not had children. Most of my friends now have at least one child and I am panicking that I don't have long left if I am going to have one. However I have so many things holding me back. My husband is 46 and says he doesn't have the energy for a child and I have never really had any interest in having children as i've not spent much time around them during my life. I worry about the cost of affording one and don't think I could deal with the sleepless night (as I love my sleep).

I went through the same feelings of panic last year and thought they had passed but they have re emerged again lately. I can't keep going through these contradicting feelings where I feel the need to have a child but not knowing if I could actually be a good parent. Other couples just seems to get pregnant and have children without these worries. If I'm not sure I know deep down I shouldn't, but I want to feel normal and not get to my forties and really regret not getting on with it like everyone else. Has anyone else been in my situation? Will these feelings pass eventually?

Everybody has these worries, I promise. I think you're probably over thinking everything. If everyone waited until it was the right time to have a baby, nobody ever would, nothing is ever perfect! I think you need to think about what you would regret the most, having a child or not having one x

It's very difficult to know in advance how much you'll enjoy being a parent.
As one with 2 dcs, there are many days when I wonder if I had my time again if I'd make the same choices.
I love my children to pieces, but the lifestyle change is totally profound, and not all (or even mostly) good.
I'd advise to consider carefully why you would have a child. If it's because everyone else is and you feel that's what you "should" do, then these might not be good enough reasons.
Sorry to be damp squib... it's been a hard few weeks!

I was mid 30's when we had our first, now expecting again. I'd been having similar anxieties to yourself and kinda just thought I wouldn't be so worried about not having them if I didn't want one if that makes sense.
I'm not a great mother - I have little patience and am definitely not the fun one, but I do love him to pieces and get a lot of joy from him and the things he does and experiences.
The part that was different for me though was that my husband got to the same place about the same time. It's obviously a bit different if your partner doesn't want children.
Not sure if that helps or not.

If your partner doesn't want children then surely that's that?

Thanks for your advice everyone