How long to wait before IVF

[user1480198351]

Hi everyone, my husband and I are going into our 8th month of trying for a baby. I know this is by far not the longest anyone has had to wait for a baby but we both want it to happen so badly. We've both had tests to check everything is normal with sperm, egg and ovulation. My question is, how long would you wait before trying IVF? We would go private so to a large extent we can dictate when. Do you think after a year of trying is too soon? How long would you wait? I've been following my ovulation closely for about 18 months so I'm sure we trying at the right time. It's just not happened yet but we are ready for it. Would now be too soon for IVF? Thanks

Most doctors won't start fertility investigations until you've been trying for a year if you are under the age of 35. If you're over 35 then it's 6 months.

There might be many other avenues you can pursue before you go down the IVF route which are far less invasive. Having had several courses of IVF, it is not for the faint hearted (from both an emotional and, sadly, a financial point of view) and should, IMO, only be undertaken when every single other avenue has failed. I understand that you want this to happen, I truly do, but 8 months really isn't a very long time to be trying. (It took 8 years for our own DC to arrive so I know what I'm talking about). Whatever you decide, best of luck. I really, really hope you are successful.

Thank you!! I do appreciate 8 months is not that long in the scheme of it but we just can't wait. I'm willing to try anything!

How old are you?

We were 9 months trying for dd, but I have short cycles so it was 11 cycles. We agreed to wait for a year and then see a doctor, in the event I'd just had my 12 week scan by that point. I would give it a year before considering anything else - but I do appreciate how hard it is waiting, it can be so all consuming. Hope it happens for you soon.

I'm 29. It's not that I'm worried it will never happen (although you don't know!). It's more that we're ready now and we're willing to try anything. I can't help it but I feel like my life is on hold until it happens...

I think you're likely to find more posters who know about this if you try one of the TTC topics:

There's www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception

and there are quite a lot if IVF threads in www.mumsnet.com/Talk/infertility

I think you're underestimating how hard IVF is and how low the rates of success are. The chance of being successful through IVF is about 1 in 4 each cycle. The chance of falling naturally is about 10-20% each month if there are no issues. I think I'd be trying naturally for a lot longer yet.

Thanks oyster. I have 3 friends who have been through IVF all of which had success first time. It's good to be reminded that's not always the case unfortunately!

Personally I would go and have all the tests now (privately if you can afford it, if not tell your gp you've been trying for >12mths to get the referral).

If there is a known "cause" that is stopping you getting pregnant you might as well find out now - e.g. If you're not ovulating properly, youre in DOR or your DH has a sperm issue. No point waiting 18 months for that.

If all is well then I'd keep trying for a while longer. 8 months is not that long in the overall scheme of things.

Ah sorry ignore me - just saw you've already had all the tests! In which case id keep trying awhile longer. Good luck!

In view of your age I would give it a good 12-18 months of trying naturally. Maybe concentrate on trying to improve egg and sperm quality through diet and supplements and rule out any other possible issues (v. important is to get your thyroid checked).

Like others have said, the IVF success rate is not hugely high so you should be prepared to fork out for 3 to 4 rounds. Also if your sub or infertility is undiagnosed as it seems to be in your case it can mean the first rounds are a bit of a shot in the dark.

I have PCOS and don't ovulate and DH has low motility. We were lucky enough to get two pregnancies from our very first IVF round - our second is due in two weeks. Despite the diagnosis we had easy issues to treat but that's not always the case. I have other friends who were also successful on the first round and another who adopted after 4 failed cycles.

Whatever you decide I wish you lots of luck - but it's early days and hopefully it will happen anyway soon.

I also say do not underestimate the toll on your body of IVF. It is definitely a last resort option.

My friend was tracking her ovulation ( or thought she was) - she's just tried Ovusense - and it turned out she was completely wrong - by 13 days! She is now pg and thrilled to bits. I wish it had been around when I was trying for mine, we took 8 long years and eventually got DD through IVF. Anyway, good luck OP !

Successes the first time are rare - my sister has had 6 cycles and only one pregnancy

I've had IVF. You would be off your head to do it if a) you have NO fertility issues and b) have only been trying for 7 months (you said you're now going in to your 8th month). IVF success rates are very low and even paying privately, I would be very, very surprised if you could find a good consultant who would take you on. Ethically, that would be beyond the pale.

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the comments, it's so good to have a third party sounding board like this!

In your shoes I would definitely want to try for longer. We went for IVF after 2years of ttc and it would have been longer if I hadn't been in my late thirties. I hated every minute of IVF. It took us four rounds to get a live birth (got pregnant from my first round but miscarried). The physical and mental toll is brutal and we must have spent £15-20k.

Another IVF mum to be here and my failed cycle and the process we have been living through for two years has been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. However I can understand how frustrating it can be waiting and wanting something so much. Maybe you could start seeing a fertility acupuncture specialist, and get advice from a nutritionalist about food and supplements to help speed things along. I did both of these things during my second round and who knows if it lead to me getting my positive result but it was lovely to feel like I was doing something to help my body. Good luck and I hope your baby dreams come true soon x

As others have said 8mths ttc is not long at all. Took me 10yrs ttc and 5 private ivf to get preg

Ivf is costly and yes some obv work and get preg first cycle but many take 2/3/4 times. We spend £27k !!!

Let alone the emotional mental aspect. Ivf is a rolla coaster that takes over your life body and soul. It will test your relationship as your body is put into early menopause for the clinic to be able to control your body

You are still young. I would save your money to begin with and if nothing in a year or so then yes go ivf

Why would you do private rather then NHS - or has partner got kid already?

You'd be an absolute lunatic to go to IVF now. Having had all the tests and no issues been found, you should be in the 'normal' category of people who has an approx 20% chance of falling pregnant each cycle. A cycle of IVF takes approximately twice as long as a normal cycle and has a (if you're lucky!) 25% chance of working, so by going to IVF you're actually lowering your chances of success, as well as spending £'000s, putting your body and emotional health under huge stress and potentially affecting your relationship.

It took me 4 cycles of IVF to get pregnant and that included being hospitalised twice and almost losing an Overy when things went wrong.

You (in the nicest possible way) sound very naive and uninformed. Please do some more research and consider this very carefully - IVF is not the magical fix all people believe it to be.

If I were you I'd be looking at trying naturally for another year.

NHS statistics suggest that 84% of couples without any known fertility issues under the age of 35 will get pregnant within a year, and 95% within 2 years.
You have only been trying for 8 months- in the grand scheme of things that really is no time at all!

As others have said, you need to give it much more time before even considering intervention. IVF is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. It has put an immense amount of pressure on my relationship with DH, and I have lost many friends in the process.
Physically and mentally I am a very, very different person to the person who started TTC nearly 3 years ago and that is wholly down to the effects of IVF on my mind and body and my subsequent losses. It is very rare for IVF to work first time or even second time. Many IVFers suffer MC after MC, and spend thousands of £ for the 'privilege'.

Also - a cycle of IVF doesn't take a month. It take 2 to 2 and a half months as you spend time putting your body in to a menopausal state before you start revving it all up again. Then, if it doesn't work, you stop all drugs and wait for your period to start. It's not always instantaneous. So, potentially, you could be missing three or possibly four attempts at trying naturally with a higher success rate for the sake of medical intervention that you don't need.

I know you probably didn't intend it, but this thread is actually kind of offensive to those of us who have fertility issues and needed ivf. Id have given anything to have avoided it. Might just be me, but I'd much rather not have had a room full of medical folk poking about my foof

Be patient.

What the last three posters said. I started ttc in August 2011. I am now 29 weeks pregnant. In that time I've had multiple investigations, did 3 months of clomid, and have done 5 cycles of IVF and had 2 miscarriages. I've also had breaks from treatment to sort out my mental health. I'm glad IVF was available as it was my only option, but if you have no known issues then don't rush into it. It's not an easy option.

I haven't had ivf, but I would say 8 months is nothing naturally. Yes some people will fall straight away but I have known people take 2-3 years naturally.

Do positive things and take the pressure off a little bit. I'm a huge believer that stress does not help these things. Also when you have done the deed don't go rushing off to the loo. Lay with your legs up on the wall behind the bed. Keep the sperm in their as long as possible. I have found with friends the time they relax and say 'we aren't trying for a few months' is normally when it happens!

Don't even think about ivf until at least 2 years in my opinion. It's such a stressful, emotional thing to go through physically and mentally that as you have had clear fertility tests you should try for longer.