Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Partner is feeling a lot of pressure, how can i help him?

3 replies

BeaRulez · 07/12/2016 12:07

Hiii! 4 weeks ago I found I was pregnant, very unexpected and half way through my university course but very happy. When I told my boyfriend he was also very, very happy. The first week he was running around after me, couldn't keep his hands off my belly and wouldn't stop looking at baby things! I find myself very lucky to have him very excited about the pregnancy. He always tells me he loves me and the baby, and we had our first scan quite early because I had some radiation risks due to treatment for cancer previously. He was there through it all.

We found out I'm now 9 weeks pregnant & the baby is looking all healthy and the midwife found the heartbeat! I've never seen him smile so much. It made my heart melt and we are both so excited for our next scan on the 29th December!

It all seemed well and good, but last week we had a little break down. My boyfriend suffers from depression. We had a little argument and he went out, drank a lot, and ended up punching walls, in a bad state, and in hospital. He has been forwarded on to counselling, is on meds, quit drinking and has been going to work for half days to help him a little. I hated seeing him like that, it was absolutely awful and I'd like to help him as much as I can.

He told me he often feels pressure, on providing for me and the baby, on finding a house for us (although i will be paying my own way and providing for the baby too!) and said he feels he might not bond with the baby and what if the baby hates him, which will not happen as he's the most loving guy ever. He's been showing me less love and doesn't seem as excited as he was.

I just want to see if anyone has any advice to help me help him? I want him to feel no pressure, and want him to feel happy and excited again. What can I do to help him feel the best he can feel and to get the relationship back to how it was before?

I really appreciate any comments!

OP posts:
PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 07/12/2016 12:31

I think everyone goes through this (minus punching walls). Babies don't have to be expensive. I started buying bits (nappies, wipes, bath stuff) with each weekly shop. Spending between £5 and £10 a week. I wouldn't bulk buy one brand only as you may not end up liking it. With Christmas coming up have a look at sales after Christmas for your big items. We got the isofix base free for buying both size car seats at once. Sometimes they have sales on colours (so blue or pink will be cheaper than say black). Also check when new lines come in. You'll get a pram cheaper if it's end of range/last years range.

I think with bonding it's harder for the bloke until the baby is here. My dd loves her dad and they have a great bond. Spending time with the baby is the way to achieve this.

Maybe worth asking him what you can do to help him with his fears

haveacupoftea · 07/12/2016 20:16

Tbh he should be feeling pressure, he does need to step up for you and the baby. Is he doing anything to support you and the pressure you are under?

Princesspinkgirl · 07/12/2016 20:40

He needs to sort himself out punching walls is not right
And could land you in trouble with social services

New posts on this thread. Refresh page