3 yo toddler in delivery room

[Saku]

Hi All,
I m 36 weeks prg with my 2nd... I have 3yo DS.. my first DS was born on 37th week as my waters broke..

Basically we husband and wife and DS .. only 3 people family live here in UK.. my parents and in laws live in another country.
DH parents are supposed to be here on my delivery .. and already applied for Visa ... .. If it does not get rejected and everything goes fine then they will be here in by my 39 week.. and can look after my first child when I will be in hospital on my due date..

But as my due dates are coming near I am panicking if everything will not go according to plan.. how my DS will be handled?? can I take him with us to hospital/delivery room.
there can be 3 situations

1. if in laws dont get visa they have to apply again and it will take another 2 weeks means on 40th week they get visa then they have travel time also
2. If I go into labour before my due date Or in emergency labour.
3. One of DH friend have given us reassurance that they(he and his wife + 12yo son) can look after my DS when we will be in hospital. We trust them also. But they live 3 stations away from us by train. if I go to labour.. my husband will have to leave me and travel to them to drop DS to them ... which I know he will not leave me in pain and as my DS delivery process was started at 4 am in morning.. we dont see us going to them. I will like DS to be with us in the situation when no one will be there to look after him.

Is anyone faced the same situation? can we take our toddler with us to hospital ; if situations doesnt do our favour??

Oh wow what a tricky situation. What about your neighbors are they nice people? My neighbor is a lovely old lady always giving my children biscuits but I'm sure if I went into labour when I was in alone with my 3yo and 1yo she would watch them for me

Do you have a car? Does your friends?

Either all three of you drive to the hospital and the friends drive there too and meet you or you taxi to hospital alone and dh drives ds to the friends house and then comes on to the hospital.

With dc2 there is always the chance that the first child will need looking after and that take president.

I'd have laboured alone if we didn't have anyone to mind dd.

OP this happened to me though my first child was 6 at the time. The second baby came early and my parents couldn't get here in time so we took the first child with us. The hospital were amazing, everytime they examined me my husband and child left the room and occasionally just went out for a walk. She didn't see anything and I had an epidural so it was very calm. However until I got the epidural I had to suffer in silence so as not to scare my daughter. At one stage they went our for a walk in the grounds and when they got back the baby had arrived. If you don't mind labouring or giving birth alone (as I didn't second time around) then it can work. My daughter was a bit overwrought by it all though. From first twinge of labour to delivery was also only 6 hours.

I'm in a similar situation as we've not been in the area very long and have no family/ good friends within 5/6 hrs drive! I have to be in hospital for several reasons and although we have a few offers of help from some lovely new friends- it's going to be around Christmas and I can't guarantee that they will be available/sober enough to drive etc!! Mine are 6 & 10 so they are fairly easy to entertain. The last resort will have to be to take them with us to hospital and dh will have to stay in the waiting room for the gruesome bits- it won't be ideal but we have few options. Am going to pack lots of snacks/drinks and things to do and we'll have to muddle through. I spent a lot of time getting stressed about it- but there is really no point as I can't really control anything.

We were in exactly the same position. I called my mum (who lives 200 miles away) whilst I was having contractions a week early. Mum got on the next train to kings x. I put my DD to sleep and kissed her goodbye then got a taxi to the hospital while DH stayed with DD. I got to the hospital at 8pm (8cm dilated) and got settled with the gas and air in the birthing pool. My mum arrived at our flat at 9pm, my husband got to the hospital at 9.50pm and DS was born at 10.10!! I was absolutely fine, I didn't intend to but because I was alone I adopted a really focussed "trance" in my labor, although my midwife was lovely
I just breathed and closed my eyes and let the labor take over. I had to have ventouse with my first DD and had a lot of intervention but I was determined this time to try and stay in control of what was happening to me. You will be amazing!! I would toddle off in a taxi to the hospital as the most important thing is for you to get there so they can assess where you are. Your DH can drop your DS off at his friends then join you at the hospital, to make you feel easier I would drop DS off at said friends house for an hour or so as a trial run closer to the time, just so nothing is too much of a shock for anyone. If the visa arrives in time then great but at least you will have prepared for every eventuality. Good luck and don't worry

Can you get a baby sitter at all maybe try introduce one now so your little one gets used to them a neighbour possibly I don't think a child of that age should be with you while your in labour to be honest

Hi All.. just FYI,
My in laws got visa sort out.. they will be with us by 39th week ..
but as my first DS was delivered on 37th week, and with second if I go in early labour.. So I asked to my midwife about having DS(3yo) with us in hospital.. and she clearly rejected to have any one under 18 in labour ward...
Then I am going to do the plan as I wrote earlier.. DH will leave me in hospital and drop DS to his friend and return back... If it is odd time(3am or 4am in morning) then may be he will stay with DS .. and I have to deliver alone.. (obviously with midwives and docs.)

Thanks for sharing all your experiences and advice.. It gave me confidence to be alone handling my labour .. if situation comes

Hopefully this baby will wait until 39 weeks xxx

Glad visa got sorted out - let's hope baby waits

If not

Then no point your dh driving to friends and back. That's extra time. Can they get a taxi to yours so saving half the time

Any neighbours you could ask?

Think about finding a babysitter to come over