Morning sickness- help!! Lonely :-(

[bignose78]

Hi. I'm new to this forum. I'm also a new mummy to be. 6.5 weeks pregnant after a year of trying. I know I should be super excited. Deep down I am. But this morning aka all day nausea is taking away all the joy. We also haven't told our family or friends as we want to get past 12 weeks before announcing. I feel so lonely and trapped. I can't seem to do anything. 24/7 nausea is draining me and really making me feel down. I feel very lonely. DH is being as supportive as he can but I don't think he fully understands the struggle.

Any tips or advice would be most appreciated.
I've tried all the usual stuff. I guess now the loneliness is getting to me.

Thank you

Thank you so much Chemistria. Threads like this help me so much because I have absolutely no one close to me that really understands what this is like. They try but most female friends and family think I am just especially sensitive - I can tell!

This HG certainly impacted me mentally when I was pregnant three years ago with my son. I too developed antenatal anxiety and depression (which meds solved as soon as I stopped breastfeeding when he was four months). While I had other personal stuff going on, the effect of the HG on me I believe was the greatest contributor. I was so shocked by how paralysed I felt by such long term sickness, and how my self identity just disappeared down the drain.

I believe this time I am much stronger and I guess I simply know what to expect. Plus I am still on an SSRI with no intention of stopping so my foundation should be stronger. But who knows - one day at a time!

Bignose you are doing brilliantly. While hard to imagine now, one day this will be a memory which you may even laugh about. For now, every day that you get through is a enormous success.

All of you would be warmly welcomed on the Hyperemesis Support thread. Perhaps you read it already. No one over there is counting how many times you vomit in a day to judge whether you should be there. The women there are all fantastic - and have given me a 'family' during this hideous time.

Thanks LHReturns
Having an outlet to talk to where no one judges you and understand what it's like really does help. I'm lucky I have a very good understanding GP. I think I will go see her this week and see what the options are.
I'm also anxious as I'm having an 8 week scan just to check for my sanity that all is well due to my age (38). So that's probably also adding to all the anxiety I'm feeling

Oh bignose so sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I also suffered from constant nausea in the 1st trimester and it was miserable. It is hard to be excited when you feel so rough so don't beat yourself up about that, there are plenty more weeks for you to get the excitment in before baby arrives!

Things that helped me- drinking ice cold water - I had water on rotation in the fridge and in the freezer so I could constantly gulp down cold water. Apples and clementines and grapes were good. Crackers and ginger biscuits too. Munching constantly was necessary.

Find what works for you and go for it - even if it is sausage rolls, it's better than feeling worse.

Thanks Bella1985
Another horrible night and feeling horrible this morning. It's just wiped me of my energy and I'm just getting through days hour by hour. I'm self employed so have no choice right now but to drag myself in to work. Luckily I don't have to do full 8-9 hour days. But all I want to do is lay down.

Oh yes the tiredness. It really does take it out of you. I was mostly coming home from work and going to bed by 7pm, or lying on the sofa all useless, it should pass soon, keep hold of that thought. There is no cure for the tiredness except for plenty of rest (and hopefully and understanding partner).

I did tell a couple of people as I was struggling so much. I found that likening nausea to a hangover day really helped non-pregnant people to appreciate it!

Bella1985
I wish it were tiredness. It's still the nausea that's keeping me awake and making it so I can barely move. Tiredness I think I would prefer over this. It's in the pit of my stomach. Just want it to pass so that I can start feeling excited and normal again.

This was me 6 weeks ago. Couldn't move off the sofa, couldn't face food and just utterly miserable. I'm now 12 weeks and it lifted at about 10 weeks thankfully. Things will improve op

Junk food is your friend at the moment bignose. Hopefully this is just bad morning sickness, it won't get worse and it will ease at 12 weeks. But it is possible that it's the start of HG in which case it might get worse and peak from 9 weeks or so. I'm so sorry to keep sounding all doom and gloom, you probably hate reading my comments! But forewarned is forearmed and if it doesn't get really bad then no harm done. However, you might reach a point where you can't eat much and you start to lose weight. I reached that point at 10 weeks and lost a stone. How I wish I gained more weight before then while I could. If you normally eat well and take care of yourself then your body will be perfectly able to handle junk food for a while. And when you're better, you'll eat well again and it'll all get back to normal. Just eat whatever you can and be happy that you are sustaining yourself and your baby despite your illness.
Sorry to hear you had a terrible night and you're still suffering xx

Thanks redjumper
Appreciate the honesty and it's always good to hear from those who have gone through similar. I'll keep an eye on things. If it does worsen in next couple week- I'll see my GP and see what she suggests. My first midwife appointment is not for another 4 weeks!

And fingers crossed you have an experience similar to mine and it doesn't last too long. my nausea lasted just 3 weeks and dissappeared around week 9 (which was terrifying at the time as I thought it meant something was wrong but baby was absolutely fine) I really hope that you find coping mechanisms and you get a couple of days rest soon

I'm 16+1 and still have nausea after eating and in the evening...Morning sickness (all day) is bloody awful. Mine has lessened but it was hell from 6 weeks to 14 weeks!

It's so very lonely and isolating and people find it hard to understand how hard it is. Nothing helped mine, nothing, still doesn't but I've certainly got better. I'm still not super excited because of how shit I feel. I hope this ends soon for you, and don't feel guilty! No one could find pure happiness on all day nausea!

I have subsided my nausea/sickness with the help of crackers, ginger ale and No to morning sickness tea. Instead of using meds, this is the safe way to cope with your morning sickness.

Unfortunately this is the attitude of many people towards HG. Especially women who've had children. They think because they had a bit of sickness that was managed by eating a few crackers they know all about pregnancy sickness. This is the mild end of the spectrum. Nausea can be bad enough to take over your life, to leave you bed bound for months, unable to work or care for your children and leaving you very depressed. The worst end of the spectrum is when women are so sick they become so frail and dehydrated that their organs start to fail. This does happen. Eating crackers is not a 'safe' way to manage a situation like that.

chanel223 are you a qualified medical professional. I find it very sad that women would make comments such as "this is a safe way to cope with morning sickness" because crackers and ginger ale worked for you. I'm glad it did work for you and glad you didn't have to take any medication. But please don't come into a forum of this topic to make judgemental comments about how others handle their morning sickness unelss you are that persons doctor. It really is upsetting that in today's age, people still feel the need to judge to a degree even though one of the comments I made in This forum specifically spoke about fearing judgement. Do you think it's safe for me to not eat and get dehydrated? Once again - I'm not sure if you are pregnant currently- or speaking from past experience. Either way- I wish you will.

redjumper
Thanks for your wonderful supportive comments and to all the others who have taken time to send supportive words. It really means a lot here.

For those who feel it necessary to pass judgement (especially of the medical kind) - please refrain from belittling new mums to be like myself.

SharkBastard
Wishing you well with the rest of your pregnancy and hope you soon reach the point where you can focus on enjoying the bump :-)

Chanel223 as a HG sufferer for this second time I must jump in at how annoyed I am by your post.

Redjumper has said it more eloquently than me. But for the second time I have been house-bound for 6 weeks now. ONLY Ondansetron (the strongest med) has kept me out of hospital this time. When I was pregnant with my DS I ended up in hospital three times on drips with doctors urging me to terminate as I was becoming psychotic and hallucinating.

If you were only displaying your ignorance with your 'crackers and tea' I would not care. But you are also insulting every women who actually does have severe morning sickness and HG with such a naive post.

When you have been vomiting every 20 minutes for 3 weeks solidly, and have not been to the loo in more than 24 hours, I urge you to then try some crackers as the 'safe way' to get through it alive.

Bignose huge warmth and support to you. You keep doing EVERYTHING you can do to get through this with both your body and mind in one piece.

I had this last year and I still feel like it was yesterday. Weeks and months of never ending extreme nausea and depression, it felt like the darkest days of my life especially as I felt I was letting down my 2 year being unable to even change her nappy and also it had taken over a year to conceive so although it was very wanted I just couldn't cope.

I remember having to try and eat something every Hour even through the night, tangerines, bananas and biscuits and flat coke. Wrist bands took the edge off slightly and some homeopathic pills my friend gave me but only slightly.

Audio books help pass the time as I felt sick watching TVs or reading or even speaking. It lifted at 14 weeks but only to a bearable level. I called the doctor and all they said was don't eat and drink at the same time. Didn't work for me but maybe try that? I still can't believe that no one has come up with a safe remedy to make this bearable - maybe they would if it happened to men!!!

I now have a wonderful baby boy who is 3 months although I have to admit it's taken quite a few weeks to really appreciate him as I became so resentful of how I was feeling throughout my pregnancy.

Congratulations Busy on living to tell the tale. The guilt I feel about what a terrible mum I am being to my 2 year old is agony.

Your story reminds me that I can get there and I will. The reward will come. But my god this is hard.

Thanks lhreturns - I did manage to have a blood test at about 10 weeks and my vit d levels were super low - was on 40,000 strength pills for 3 months, hard to tell if it was contributing to the feeling horrendous but I feel a lot better now than I did last year. Also have just discovered the joys of an osteopath, having felt like a little old woman getting out of my creaking chair I can now join in head shoulders knees etc... maybe I should have done that during pregnancy too but all my energy was focused on absolute Necessities!!

OP there is light at the end of this awful tunnel, I wish you all the best and wish I had found this forum last year. Am now addicted to the chat app!!

I'm so glad I posted on this forum. The love and warmth from you all (asides from judgemental ones) has been overwhelming.
I am going to try the bracket as not tried that yet Busy77

I had a jacket potato with beans and cheese today and greasy spoon cafe and it made me feel better - all be it for ah hour. I'll take that tho! Lol.

Sat their with all the builders.

I know this is all for the greater good and every night before I go to bed , I say a little prayer and have a little chat with my (now blueberry sized munchkin) that we will get through this. X

Bignose I also had a giant jacket potato with beans and cheese today! Was great at the time.

I always try to remember our little blueberries aren't doing this to hurt us on purpose. They are trying to get big and strong for us and need our help for a short time to get there. They don't want to make us feel so awful. They just can't do it by themselves yet.

Busy You have reminded me about Vitamin D - thank you! I def need this.

There's a very supportive and active facebook group called Hyperemesis Graviardum and pregnancy sickness support. Get you there, feel less alone xxx

LHReturns hahaha. Well for now that's what seems to work for us- better than an empty stomach arleast.
Once again- thanks so much for all kind words.