Help :(

[jessica9966]

Hi everyone,

I really do hope know one judges me, I'm 26 years old, I'm in a bit of a predicament.

To cut a long story short, on the 1st September I slept with someone. Came on my period around about 2 weeks later.

I have now found out I am 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant.

My first question is, when the nurse did the internal scan, how accurate are they with their dates ? Because after my period, I slept with someone else quite frequently. From today's date the 1st September is 7 weeks ago nearly. Would I have been showing as more , or after my period, when I ovulated would it be the other mans ? Does that make sense ? My nurse said my period was roughly 5 weeks ago based on the internal scan.

I'll try and explain it better if you need too xxxx

I think if you got your period after sleeping with the first man it's safe to say you are pregnant with this other/newer man.

Hi. I thought that too but I've been reading up and I'm so confused. Sperm can stay in your body for so long etc etc, and then I ovulated, could it have been the first mans sperm after ovulating etc ??

I would also assume you're pregnant by the second partner going by those dates. Also, you got your period and the internal scan would be v unlikely to be that out.

do you think there's a chance AT ALL? it could be the first mans ?

Based on the info you have provided, in my view no, not the first man unless (i) your period wasn't an actual period (and instead was some early pregnancy spotting or similar) AND the scan dated the pregnancy wrong. V unlikely that both of these occurred OP, in my view. You could pay for a second private scan to confirm the dates if you want the extra reassurance/confirmation?

Based on the internal scan if the nurse said your period was five weeks ago, then you wouldn't have ovulated until approx three weeks ago, they count from the first period even though you're not pregnant for those first two weeks if that makes sense. If it was the guy from Sept 1st you would be further along around eight weeks. Quite a difference between an eight week scan and a five week scan.

A period 2 weeks after intercourse would be a bit late for implantation bleeding, which is rare anyway, so you could almost certainly rule out the first man. When did you first get a positive pregnancy test?

Does it matter who the father is? Are you in a relationship with one of them, or were they both casual sex?

Not judging at all, just asking the question, because depending on the answer it might not really matter who it is.

I got my first positive pregnancy test on the 8th October which said 1-2 weeks on clear blue, then a week later , it changed to 2-3 weeks. Went for an internal scan she said yes I'm about three weeks pregnant but they say I'm 5 weeks due to last period. But she guessed my last period because I'm not EXACTLY all that sure when my last period was xx why is this stuff so confusing. It's my own fault really

It matters I'm hoping it's the second man xx

It sounds like he is a new partner though?
I'm not trying to be mean but even if it's him it's not ideal is it?
Would your decision about whether to continue with the pregnancy depend on who the father is?
Because if it's an unplanned pregnancy with a new partner, there is a chance the relationship might not work out. Of course I hope it does, I'm just saying there is a chance it won't.

I completely agree with you and I've got myself in a messy situation. The second man, I've known for 7 years and there's a chance we could have a relationship. I really want it to be his. The other man was a one off xx

Well it does sound a lot more likely that it's the second man. You will have a dating scan at around 12 weeks. At that point you will be able to work out the conception date (give or take a day or two) so you will be more confident in knowing who the father is. Perhaps you could wait until after the scan before telling him that you're pregnant, so you can be clear that he's the father?

First off. I'll be the mum here... stop having unprotected sex. That's just not smart. Take charge of your own sexual health.

Secondly, it's the second partners. Not the first. There's not really a chance if you had a period.

Good luck!!

It must be the second guy, if it was the first that would make you about 9 weeks as it would have been dated from the period you had in August. Mid September to now is roughtly 5 weeks, they can get it out by a few days but that's close enough. At least that's the one you wanted it to be. Not the best situation but I really hope it all works out for you. x ps if you're not already taking it get on the folic acid!

Based on what you've told us, it is the second guy for sure particularly since you were with him on a number of occasions. Sperm can live a couple of days in the female body, 5 at the most and even that is very optimistic.

Congratulations on your news, a baby if wanted is a blessing. I'm sure you'll be a great mum.

It will be the second mans. I've had early scans and the difference between 5 weeks (a blob) and 8 weeks (tiny limbs) is huge.

Thank you for your help! I'm guessing it is the second man, and I really do want to keep this baby! Not sure really what to do from here just a little down and stumped. X

Chiming in to agree it's pretty definitely the second guy. I'm glad that's the right answer for you. I think it's probably a good idea to think through the various options before you talk to him about it. You don't have to be definite but it will be very easy to get swayed in the face of a strong reaction from him. You're cod early still. All options are open to you.

Cod early
Very early.

If I knew 100% it was his I would keep the baby, and we'd be happy. Problem is I can't remember what my period was like when I came on whether it was short / long / or just spotting. I've just been so busy with work.
I'm almost certain it's the second mans but I wish I could know for sure

"The second man, I've known for 7 years and there's a chance we could have a relationship."
"If I knew 100% it was his I would keep the baby, and we'd be happy."

I'm sorry OP but I think you're being naive. From what you said it sounds like you're not officially in a relationship? (Just "there's a chance") and this isn't a planned pregnancy... so although it might be reasonable hope that he will be committed to you and the baby, there is no guarantee. Please think very carefully about all the possibilities, including being a single parent, when you make your decision. Don't assume he will be around.

Sorry to be negative but I've read so many threads on here from women in your situation but further along in the pregnancy, lamenting the father's lack of interest and/or change of tune, often saying they might have made a different choice about the pregnancy if they had known.