Didn't want to announce pregnany to in-laws yet but they're visiting this weekend...! What to do?

[Flingmoo]

This is frustrating.

I'm only 7 weeks pregnant. I have no intention of telling ANY family (apart from my own mother who I am very close to) until I've had the 12 week scan.

However, my in-laws are visiting from abroad this weekend and let me tell you, it's going to be impossible to hide it from them. Why? Because they are massive foodies and wine lovers. Literally any time we see them, we all drink lots of wine and eat lots of the kind of food that is forbidden for pregnant ladies... soft cheese, pate, shellfish, rare steak, etc. For me to decline all these things in one weekend is a massive giveaway as I would never normally decline wine

With my last pregnancy we went to visit my in-laws at around this stage and we had to tell them, because it was really obvious for the above reasons. MIL seemed a little bit judgmental that we announced it to them so early. I believe she once suffered a miscarriage so I can see why she feels this way, however it's not as though I really have any choice.

I can't see how I can hide it, but if I say 'no thanks' to the wine etc and don't tell them the truth, I can't stand the idea of them whispering in their room about how I must be pregnant again!

I really wish I didn't have to tell them though. I've been ill earlier this week with a high fever and I'm worried this might have affected the baby. I didn't really want to make any announcements before I know if the baby is developing well. I also find it a little bit unfair on my other family members, including my own dad, if I tell my in-laws but hide it from them for another 6 weeks.

Has anyone else had these sort of problems?

I think it would be his girlfriend/wife's choice as she would be the pregnant one. And tbh I'm not sure if I can see myself being the kind of amazing MIL that this hypothetical daughter in law would choose to confide in over her own mother....

Oh yes, if DH wants to tell them he can, I'm not going to be upset if he wants that. They're not that close though, I don't think he'd be telling them out of excitement, it would just be to avoid the hassle of having to be secretive!

And there lies your answer.... You state that he wants to tell them, so tell them then you don't have a problem.

Yes mums are special, and she is your dh's mum. If he wants to tell her, he should especially if you are telling yours. Will you treat them differently when the baby arrives? Will your mum be more special then too?

My son is a few years away from being a father (I hope) but I would presume that his partner's mum would precedence over me in most matters to do with pregnancy and birth - I know that''s how I felt. Hopefully once the baby arrives there is more parity between in-laws and parents.

Why?

And there lies your answer.... You state that he wants to tell them, so tell them then you don't have a problem.

Yeah, I'm just going to go with the flow and do whatever DH decides. If a moment comes up to tell them maybe we will just end up telling them.

However/whenever we tell them though, it'll be awkward... I just know it!