Booking appointment

[lalaland1985]

I received my booking in appointment today. Does my partner come to this too or does he only go to the scans?

You can invite him if you want but it's a very boring and uneventful appointment. They ask you a lot of questions and fill in a lot of forms. They also measure your height and weight and take your blood pressure. And they take a urine sample as well as lots of blood samples (or they send you to the practice nurse to do it )

I had my 16 week appointment today and DH came because we were hoping to hear the heartbeat... But the midwife said they don't monitor the heartbeat any more So it was completely pointless for him to come!

The scans are the only exciting bit IMO.

No need for him to go. It's very boring. The midwife will ask about medical history on both sides though so it is worth making sure you are aware of anything (just parents I think) - heart, diabetes etc.

He can but there's no need. lots of forms and nothing very exciting!

My DH came with me. The midwife appointments are your appointments so it is up to you if you want him there.

Legally his work have to give him unpaid time off for only two appointments.

No need for him to come to this one. Plus there is 10-15 mins the midwife will ask him to leave anyhow so they can check everything is OK at home etc. Best to save time off from work for the exciting bits like scans.

Thank you

Actually for my booking they said if you brought him that he would have to step outside for a bit
Because they ask you about your life at home, any dv or abuse so they want you on your own

I wish I'd taken my DH as I'm 23 and midwife said 'oh did he propose when he found out you were expecting' (no- you twat) and 'oh very old head on young shoulders' - horrible old patronising midwife, my DH would have shot her down immediately

You will need his medical history. Mine came.

Mine came, the appointment was at home and it's quite nice for them to feel part of things and have an idea of what will happen though the pregnancy. Also they did want his medical history etc which I knew but nice for them to be there to give it.

Because they need medical history on both sides, mine came with me but its not the most exciting appointment.

NameChange30 I've heard my babies heartbeat at each of my midwife appointments from the 12 week mark onwards. I'm currently 33 weeks & still hear it at each appointment. Maybe its worth asking again?

Chocoholic (me too!)
It was a very categorical no. The midwife said the recommendations have only recently changed. I have local friends who have had babies in the last year or two and they got to hear the heartbeat - one of them is even registered at the same GP surgery and saw the same midwife team. So I was expecting the same and was very disappointed to be told it has changed. I will ask at my next appointment but it's not until 25 weeks so it will be less important by then, hopefully I will be able to feel the baby moving anyway.

Tbh it just makes me feel even more disappointed to hear that everyone else has been able to listen to their baby's heartbeat. DH was annoyed yesterday and I couldn't be bothered to get stressed about it but the more I think about it the more upset I feel

(trying not to derail the OP - sorry!) Name, I'm sorry if what I said have made you upset . I just presumed it happened as part of routine hence why I said to ask her again next time. Sending you hugs. Won't be long until you get to hold your little bundle - time soon flies x

The heartbeat thing must be local - I'm 21 weeks and heard the heartbeat at my 16 week appointment.

Chocoholic No need to apologise at all, I've been feeling very upset and emotional today so it wasn't you! Thanks for your kind words (they've made me emotional again )

Pottering Yes I think it very much depends where you are and which midwife (or midwife team) you see, which I find annoying because it seems unfair!

OP, sorry for derailing your thread slightly!

Heartbeat depends on where about you are. First community midwife appt where they listened was using a pinard at 25 weeks. Then at 28 week blood appointment I heard it on a doppler. I had a private 3d scan at 26 weeks so I'd heard it then, but without that, first time would have been 28 weeks.

My dh always comes with (because I don't drive and I'm definitely not walking there/back). It's never been a necessity that he was there though.

Heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time the day I went into labour when they monitored it! They don't do it as they don't learn a lot from it apparently.

My OH came to pretty much every midwife appointment apart from booking in as he didn't need to. He wanted to come to the rest though and I liked having him there. Booking in is a lot of forms and bloods and such. More about your health.

fruity
I disagree; a well trained, experienced midwife can learn something from listening to the heartbeat - if it's slow or irregular they can refer for further monitoring and testing.
I also think there is a clear emotional benefit for the mother, and father if he is present, in that (I imagine) hearing your baby's heartbeat is a positive experience that makes you feel connected to the baby. I think it could be especially beneficial for fathers as they don't get to experience the physical side of pregnancy and feel the baby moving as mothers do.

I'm not saying they can't namechange just that's what I heard. They never offered for me to listen until they were checking on DS progress while I was in labour.

I do like to think my midwife is well trained and experienced however!

I think I'll just go myself. No point in us both going along if not needed!

Booking in appointment is quite boring really, lots of questions & forms to fill in.

Really no point in other half being there, unless they absolutely want to be and they can easily take the time off work.

I felt cheated after mine & it all felt really pointless as I had dating scan a few days later and discovered it was a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks

Still had the bruises on my arms from the booking blood taking!

namechange they will prob do it at your 25 weeks, in my area they stopped doing it at the 16 week because it can be very difficult to hear and many parents were becoming upset and requiring extra scans because they thought there was something wrong when the heartbeat couldn't be found.

When a clinical decision on what to offer in an area has been made they can't make exceptions for one or two patients. I think it's pretty sensible if they were having the issues they've said they were with finding the heartbeats, no need to cause extra worry!

No they've told me they don't do it at all. So they won't do it at 25 weeks.

I hate the way they patronise you and treat everyone the same, as if we are all incapable of rational thought and understanding the advice. I understand that you can't always find the heartbeat at 16 weeks, but that's not the reason the midwife gave. The reason she gave is that it doesn't change anything, the baby could still die () and it gives mothers a false sense of security and discourages them from reporting changes in fetal movement Well that's bullshit, I am perfectly capable of following advice to report changes in fetal movement thank you very much.

I checked the Nice guidelines and they said routine checking isn't recommended but can be done on maternal request. But apparently me asking yesterday wasn't a maternal request

The irony of course is that women can buy their own fetal dopplers and other devices to monitor the heartbeat themselves at home. I think that's a terrible idea, as it should only be done by a trained midwife, but if midwives refuse to do it then more women will be tempted to try themselves at home.

My OH came to the booking appointment purely because he was so excited, even though it was just boring form filling the mw was really lovely and chatty and I think he liked being part of it all. When the mw showed me where the loo was for my sample she asked if there were any concerns at home or with OH and that was all, no big discussion about us, just a simple "while we're here, I have to ask, are there any concerns back home that you'd like to tell me about?"