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Original poster

When did you call your DH/dp/ birth partner?

14 replies

Moonrocks6 · 09/09/2016 08:47

I was just wondering when you called your birth partner to come home when you were in labour.
DH's drive home can take up to an hour and the hospital is about half an hours drive away.
I don't want him to miss anything or for me to be stuck at home if things progress quickly but st the same time am aware that first deliveries can take days.

He had not been in this job long so will not get any paternity leave and only has about a weeks holiday. We want to make the most of it when baby is here.

Any advice on what stage to get to before calling?

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GinIsIn · 09/09/2016 09:36

Do you have anyone else who would be nearer and could be on standby? That way you could afford to leave it a bit later.

Original poster
Moonrocks6 · 09/09/2016 09:55

It would depend on how convenient baby decided to be. On certain days I have a friend who could stay with me. Other days everyone would be at work.
Calling him home isn't a problem. It's just knowing when to actually do it.Confused

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 09/09/2016 10:08

Is it your first baby?

Original poster
Moonrocks6 · 09/09/2016 10:09

Yep. That's why I have no idea what I'm doing!

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BertieBotts · 09/09/2016 10:29

I thought so, and it's tricky because unfortunately you can't really tell how long your labour will be in advance!

Is there anyone closer who can be with you as a back up if he can't get back quickly?

Have you asked your midwife for advice? Often they can give tips on how to discern a false alarm from real labour. Antenatal classes can help here too.

Original poster
Moonrocks6 · 09/09/2016 10:38

It is tricky.
I asked midwife but she wasn't much help. I'll definitely leave calling until I am sure that it is the real thing: in s pattern, regular etc

It's just how regular?

OP posts:
panad317 · 09/09/2016 10:49

I'm 30minutes away from the hospital, DP works 30minutes away. My midwife told me to phone the labour ward when my contractions are coming every 10 minutes. Second baby for me. I was induced with my first.
I think I'll just know when to call DP, and you will too Smile
I know how you feel with only getting a week with him, it's the same for us, new job, and only 3 days holidays so he'll have to take unpaid leave.

isthistoonosy · 09/09/2016 10:49

For my first i call m OH when my waters went but said not to hurry as I wasn't hving contractions, the I called the hospital who said to come in, when I could to confirm it ws my waters so we went from there and he came home to drive me in.

Second my ontractions started with a regular pattern of 2-5 mins so we called the sitter for dc1 and drove in, took abou hrs from waking up with contractions to being admited to hospital.

I'd say it's more when you feel you need him, either to practically drive you to hospital or as moral support tohelp you labour at home.

ALittleOblivion · 09/09/2016 10:59

Don't assume it will automatically be slow - my first was only a few hours! Contractions were on top of each other from the start though, so I knew it wasn't following a "typical" pattern... Hopefully you will get a sense of how things at going from how far apart / intense the initial contractions are... Good luck!

Nikki2ol6 · 09/09/2016 11:52

My first labour lasted 4 days!!!!!
But my friends first labour lasted 6 hours!! How is that fair lol!!! So really just see how it goes, once the pains pick up and you know things are progressing then it's time to call, of course call him and tell him you think it's the start but stay where you are

Original poster
Moonrocks6 · 09/09/2016 12:10

Thank you so much for your replies.
Nikki that is not at all fair!

I think I will have to hold off telling him to start with or he will be home immediately. Thanks for the guidance. I'm still really unsure but hoping that I will just know when it is time.
Would be very convenient if baby decided to come this weekend to save me the hassle. Grin

OP posts:
ALittleOblivion · 09/09/2016 12:41

With both of mine labour has started overnight and many friends have been the same - certainly not always the case but there's a reasonable chance it won't all kick off during the working day!

abbinobb · 09/09/2016 12:44

I guess call them when you get the first con tractions so they can let work know they might have to leave then call again when they get painful? No idea I'm terrified of this because my first labour was super quick and only just made it to hospital so this time I'm freaking out about it because I'll have ds on my own so I'm going to get dp to come home at the first sniff of labour

Dixiechick17 · 09/09/2016 13:21

I'd call on first contraction or if waters break, I'm a first time Mum and my labour was just over five hours. My contractions were 2-3 mins apart immediately. I know not everyone is the same though

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