feeling utterly devastated

[blackcloudabove]

The children's father left 2 months ago and I've cried everyday since! I feel like I've failed my children. I have no patience, I'm
Not fun, I've pushed everyone away! I'm also nearly 34 weeks pregnant and on bipolar medication. I just don't see how I'm ever Guna get over this! I can't! Although I want to hate him for being a selfish idiot! I can't I'm just utterly devastated! I'm under consultant care for the pregnancy but at my last appt he asked how I was and I said I'm really stressed and he shrugged as in yeah that's expected with pregnancy. I went to see my psychiatrist and he said you have 3 kids at your age on your own... What are you Guna do!!!
I have a counsellor who is brilliant.
There's no more help I can reach out for!
I am no good for my children right now. That sounds pathetic I know but I'm really not l! I can't even just put on a brave face! They've seen me cry far too much. Their behaviour and attitudes have become so bad and I don't blame them!

Have you been referred to midwives specialising in women with mental ill-health? They may be able to help you access support more effectively.

How about the health visitor team if your kids are under 5? They might be able to offer some support or refer you to Home Start once the new baby arrives

Do you have any family you can lean on just for a short while. Perhaps, someone you could trust to look after you children for a little while to give you a bit of a break to pick up the pieces.

Really hoping you can get some additional support through this tough time.

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. But first and foremost you need to stop beating yourself up. It's no wonder you're emotions are running away with you, you've got a lot on your plate. Do you have any support from family or friends? Big hugs

My mum has the kids whenever for appointments and things but we are not close emotionally. My best friend lives 3 hours away. And I have 2 other friends here but they are fed up of hearing stuff. Everyone around me hates him so I've learnt just not to talk to anyone about it.

And yeah I am already under all of those thing you have mentioned. However I am excellent at looking like I'm coping! Everyone says 'I don't know how you do it' 'you're so strong' and I just smile and nod. I can't stand people thinking I can't cope

Admitting you're struggling isn't weak. It's just accepting that you are not superwoman.
You have every right to be upset and angry, but you will get through this. If those friends are true friends, they will listen and support no matter what.
Let your guard down, let people in and stop beating yourself up.
Oh and just for the record, I think you are strong and you are still 'doing it'! With no one around, who else is??

Plan of action... talk openly to the people who are there to help, set the kids up with boundaries and bedtimes and show them who's boss.... you can do it, I have complete faith!