Unplanned shock pregnancy

[Rose87777]

Hi everyone, I'm new to mums net today. I am 29 and found out last Wednesday that my boyfriend (of less than a year!) and I are expecting a baby. I am 5 weeks pregnant today and I am experiencing the most distress I have ever known! I feel so stupid because we got carried away one night when I presumed (wrongly) that I would be passed my fertile window and that it would be fine. I am Catholic and despite obviously having sex before marriage we were trying to use NFP methods of contraception. I come from a large VERY Catholic family. This weekend I told my parents and they were very supportive but obviously incredibly disappointed. (The worst!!!).

My boyfriend and I have good jobs and he is so supportive but I worry so much that our relationship won't work out! I am terrified of bringing a child in to an unstable relationship and I truly can't believe we are in this situation. I wish I could feel the joy that a new life should bring with it but all I have is fear of the future and darkness! Does anyone have experience of this? Is it just the shock of the news?! Please tell me I will feel the joy of this pregnancy eventually!

With all due respect, given you weren't using contraception is it really such a shock or so unbelievable?

No doubt it will take a while to sink in properly and it's totally natural to be shit scared, even if you'd planned it. If you continue with the pregnancy then no matter what happens with your relationship if you're committed to doing the best for your child I'm sure you'll be a great mum.

I'm lying here with my (now 8 month old) shock unplanned pregnancy. She is devine and I can't imagine life without her.

I'm now a single mother with an 8 month old as I had a baby in an unstable relationship. I hate my ex but love my son.

Will your family expect you to get married before the birth?

I understand your situation.

It can work out, though, if you are both committed to the family and the relationship. Have you discussed getting married? How does he feel about your religious background?

It can't be that unexpected if you're having unprotected sex, though.

I wasn't with my husband for very long before our daughter was conceived. It was about 4 months. She's just turned 4 now, we got married 2 years ago and have a 10 month old and another on the way.

We've had our issues and falling outs but ultimately we're committed to each other, and the family.

There's no guarantee that any relationship will work out but it's not random. It is really down to you and your boyfriend to commit to embracing each other and your LO.

No judgement from me - I'm in a very similar situation. It helped that my parents were over joyed at the news and not at all disappointed. I did half expect my dad to have a fit and need to remind him that I'm in my 30s not my teens but he was the happiest of them all!

You are not the powerless victim of fate - it's up to you and your boyfriend to make it happen.

Roo