AIBU to expect more from this Ob?

[gravitationallull]

We have private medical insurance as we live abroad but having baby in London under a private obstetrician. I'm at the end (40wks) of a very straightforward pregnancy. I haven't been seen by anyone since week 34 and then it was just a quick conversation.

I've called the ob secretary and asked for an appointment to discuss what's happening next, three times over the last two days, she has said that ob is jam packed but she'll find a time for me and call me back, but she hasn't.

I understand that my straightforward preg is nothing compared to what these obs deal with every day and I don't want to over-medicalise anything, and I don't particularly need anything. But actually I would quite like to check in. I'd like someone experienced to just look me up and down? Ask me how I am, considering we are paying for it all!

AIBU?

Just checked my own BP, found some batteries for an old BP monitor we had. It's fine. Also baby movements like normal.

I just feel really upset about it all. But that is also complicated by hormones. Ob was very clear that if I had any questions I should just call the hospital, and if there were any issues, they would call him out. But that plays into my very English not -wanting - to - make - a - fuss. Especially as I have not felt unwell. Was it up to me to call the hospital and go in and repeatedly make appointments to pee on a stick and get BP checked? Was the ball in my court? Have I just not been proactive?

I called hospital just now and they asked if I thought I was in labour. I said no but emphasised that I had not had any antenatal checks since 34 weeks. They said come in if you want and we'll check you. Now I feel silly going in knowing that my BP is normal and probably everything else is too.

This is my second baby. First was abroad.

Please don't feel silly OP. Go in and get checked by the midwives as fortnightly checks are a minimum. You'll feel more at ease having done so.

Has your OB discussed your birth plan with you? NHS schedule discuss it at 34w. At 40/41 they will either offer a sweep or induction and if you decline they need to monitor you and baby more regularly instead (growth and baby heart rate)

I am flabbergasted at this for a private OB. It shouldn't be up to you to schedule appointments. After your latest appointment they will normally book in your following one so you know when you're seeing them next. Seems your OB is taking a fee and expecting not to work for it.

OP - unless you are medically / nursing / midwifery qualified - you are not in a position to take your own BP properly - sorry if that sounds patronising but its true.

I'm surprised the hospital seem a little laid back about your antenatal care as well. May I ask - what exactly are you paying for ? Are you paying for ante natal care + delivery and immediate post natal care, or just delivery ? Is the consultant expecting you to use you GP / community midwife for ante natal care ?

Even if the consultant thinks he / she is providing delivery only - you should have had a review and discussion about management of going beyond term. You say you have been abroad as the reason for paying privately - how do you stand for GP care ?
I agree with others - no clinical assessment since week 34 is borderline negligent. I certainly wouldn't be paying the full fee.

Im glad to hear you've contacted the hospital Op,you really shouldn't be in this situation at this stage in your pregnancy.
I would hope if you go to the hospital,you will get a thorough check over & all the tests you've missed out on over the last few weeks,as well as information on sweeps & induction should it be needed.

This is really not good enough & I would explain to the midwife at the hospital how you feel.
I think once you speak to someone in person and explain they will be mortified that you've not been seen for all this time!

Check your cover OP. I went private and like other posters saw my consultant on a very regular basis, but I do know that some insurers only provide delivery services, in which case you might want to call the pa and tell her you're willing to pay for this extra consultation in case she's squeezing you in as a goodwill gesture.