Crying over stupid shit

[MyBreadIsEggy]

I'm sat here in my bedroom, on a sunny Sunday afternoon bawling my eyes out.
DH is playing out in the garden with 15 month old Dd, and I should be down there too....but instead I'm sat here like a pathetic idiot.
I'm 28 weeks pregnant with DC2, and am finding life I general, really really hard right now. Dd is in that typical toddler stage of tantrums and meltdowns a thousand times a day, using everything as a climbing frame etc, so it feel like parenting has become harder than it ever has been before, I'm half crippled by SPD, again making everyday life that little bit harder, and I find myself angry over the most silly of things. For example, our neighbours are really nice people and have two kids a bit older than my Dd, but they still like to play together. Every time we go into the garden, it takes the kids about 30 seconds to start pestering about coming to play with Dd in our garden, or Dd going to play over in theirs....same thing happened today, and u just felt this really irrational wave of fury come over me and actually said to DH "Can't even go in my own garden without other people's fucking kids constantly whinging at me!" didn't say it loud enough for the kids to hear me, I just can't believe it came out of my mouth - the kids are 6 and 4 and I've just felt real seething anger towards them I feel like I am losing complete control of my emotions, and I'm falling apart at the seams but then I feel even more pathetic because I know there are people out there with real problems and they aren't sitting in their bedroom crying like a child.
I don't really know what I wanted from this thread, I just needed to get it off my chest I think.

I think we all feel a bit fragile in pregnancy! I wouldn't worry, you sound like a great mum, I'm in my first pregnancy and I don't even know how I'd cope with looking after a child and being pregnant so props to you! Grab yourself lots of chocolate and snuggle in a blanket untill you feel better
Hope you feel better :)

Poor you

Is your mood low a lot at the moment- could you be depressed?

Generally though, I think we all have very low moments! I'm 25 weeks and have had a couple of occasions when I've been in a total state. I find that sleep and getting out to do something just for me has really helped- I've been going for a swim which is lovely.

I'm 28 weeks as well and I have a DS who is 3 in October, and I feel exactly the same. I constantly feel guilty because I can't do as much with him as I want to, I'm struggling with him wanting to climb over me all the time, I'm shattered and just have no energy to play with him as much... It's hard. I just keep telling myself it's just temporary and in a few weeks I'll be able to do things with him again.

With regards to the other kids in your garden - I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Even if I wasn't pregnant I would hate not being able to go in my garden without someone else's kids turning up every time.

Thank you all for your replies.
I feel like I'm cracking up with all this really irrational anger! To be fair, I have quite a short fuse and firey temper when I'm not pregnant....but pregnancy hormones seem to render my short fuse almost non-existabt. I feel like I have absolutely no control over my emotions whatsoever. Normally if I feel myself getting pissed off or annoyed about something, I can take myself away from the situation or at least hold my anger in until an appropriate time for venting comes along, but recently it just spills out of me like a tidal wave that can't be held back. And it's over the tiniest little things. It's really odd because yesterday I was completely fine! I felt normal. But today, I woke up in a shit mood, and it's just got worse as the day has progressed and has resulted in my crying episode in my room!

It's Defo the hormones. I snapped last weekend.
But what I will say, is you're very lucky to have kids next door for your DD to play with. This will become very useful at times to keep her occupied.
We had that but have since moved and every neighbour are older than 75 so my DD has no one to play with.
I am considering moving just to be closer to other kids.

If it helps, one of my friends was similar when she was pregnant, and she's also very fiery normally. Is having time alone making you feel worse, or calmer?

Unicorn I agree, it is great having other kids around that she can play with....it's just to the point where I go out to hang my washing on line while Dd is napping, and the youngest one comes to the fence and says "can come and play at my house?" And I say "not right now, she's asleep. Maybe another day." And he flew into a screaming tantrum, waking Dd in the process and that occurs every time either me or his mum says no! It's like I don't want to go into my own garden because I know one of them will ask

definitely hormones. I remember in my first trimester OH and I were getting ready for a day out, he came out the shower and I was sitting on the floor bawling my eyes out. He came running over asking what had happened and I said I couldn't go out because my leggings were too baggy .

Hormones really do the weirdest things and turn you into someone you never thought you'd be! Don't be too hard on yourself, pregnancy is hard and I can imagine it must be difficult with another child to look after too.

Cup of tea and a wee break to yourself and see now you feel :)

P.s I got over my baggy leggings and we had a lovely day in the end! ;)

April I had those kind of meltdowns when pregnant with my daughter - once we were planning what to do one Saturday and I couldn't decide. DH asked me again "so do you fancy shopping or the seaside?" And I just sat there crying "I DONT KNOOOOOWWW!"
But this is on a whole other level. It's not upset I feel, it's anger. Almost constant anger at everyone and everything. It's bizarre

I agree with everyone who says it's normal to have irrational meltdowns. In your situation though, no matter how lovely the neighbours kids are, it would drive me insane constantly being asked if they can come over or vise versa. Id have had the same reaction as you when not pregnant.

With my DS I was totally fine. This time I am a total psycho. Upset and rage at nothing! some days I feel like I may have anxiety and depression and other days I am totally fine. Total nutcase. My poor poor husband. Not so much outbursts; just the total melodrama of it all. Just cried on the phone to my mum for an hour for nothing! I am 7weeks btw; I need this to go away!

m33r you have summed it up perfectly! Some days (like today) I am really scared that there is something actually wrong with me mental health-wise....but then yesterday I was absolutely fine

That helps to know you are the same with the mental health thing eggy

m33r I know it's all these hormones just amplifying everything - as I said up-thread, I'm quite a hot head anyway, I have a very short temper, so this is just like that but x100! Still makes me stop and have a word with myself though and really think about why I'm feeling the way I am....and 9 times out of 10, there's no definitive reason for it, which tells me it must be hormonal!!!

The angers normal too. My midwife used to tell me stories of angry ladies. I feel your pain with the neighbour thing. Happened to me and went on for years, I wasn't even pregnant at that point but drove me mad. We was once having a family BBQ and child next door climbed up on 6ft fence looking over and giving us a running commentary for hours. Said child's sibling would knock at least 15 times a day too from 9am!

Beautiful it does drive me insane but I'm so conflicted about it because the parents are really lovely people - they always have other kids over in their garden because them mum says it's not a problem to her for everyone to be at her house, because it keeps her kids occupied! Which is fine, it's her house! But I don't know if her kids now think that everyone's house is as "open" as theirs is? Because as mean as it sounds: mine most definitely is not. DH and I like our home to be our space. I don't mind the odd garden play-date while the weather is nice, but I want to be able to hang my laundry out or cut the grass without being yelled at by children!!