Partner wants me to get a abortion 😖

[SummerLove87]

Hi Ladies....Ive on the Pill for over a year and taking Antibiotics 3/4weeks ago and have fallen pregnant as apparently the Antibiotics can cancel out the pill! First I've heard! It came bit of a shock to me and my partner who I have only been with for a year,we Love eachother so Much we know it's not the right time to have a baby as to early in the relationship,And he wants to wait 2 more years and then try for a baby,Even though it wasn't planned I feel incredibly Sadden by this,he doesn't want to talk to any of his friends or family about this,I think so he doesn't change his mind ??? He said he wants to Plan for a baby....he's 35 and I'm 29.

This is the worst kind of emotional blackmail, and using your baby as a weapon against you.

Men like this don't change.

If you want to keep the baby then do, and give yourself some time, you've only just found out and it's a shock for you too.

Have you got anyone in RL you can talk this through with?

There's no "perfect" time to have a baby, I waited until I was were I wanted to be professionally with dc 2, only to be made redundant at 21 weeks. What if you have problems conceiving in 2 years time? Many people struggle with problems second time round. A friend of mine had an unplanned baby in her 20's, it took her years to conceive dc 2 in her 30's. Your body, your decision Imo.

OP, you have to be 100% behind an abortion in order to never regret it.

I had one, years ago. Pregnancy was an accident, I never wanted a child (still don't, still childless), and I was never forced in to it. It was entirely my decision.

What he wants right now does not matter. You are talking about your physical and mental health: Pregnancy is a physical condition, it's just you whose body will change, who has to deal with potential symptoms such as morning sickness, tiredness, constant toilet visits, not to mention childbirth itself. An abortion would, besides it affecting you physically (you'll have severe cramps for a day or two after), potentially have a major impact on you mentally. It can send you in to depression if you feel it's the wrong decision for you and go through with it for someone else instead of you.

For both of these there is only one consideration, which is your wellbeing.

His comment about the 'trust' being gone is shockingly selfish given that he will never experience any of the above. HE CANNOT! I would argue he is not the right man for you if he puts his wants above your wellbeing.

You've had some great advice upthread but thought I'd add my side. Having gone through it I am absolutely certain that you'd need to be as convinced as I was about it. If you aren't, then you absolutely shouldn't.

I'd be asking some cold questions like:

'Do you mean you would leave me if I had our baby and didn't have an abortion'

'What would you do to support our child if you left or if you stayed'?

Answers to those questions show you what type of man he is - and I'm going to guess he's going to be a right dick about it.

He wants to tell you what to do.

And the only thing that matters is what YOU want to do.

Please don't have an abortion unless YOU want it. Lots of wisdom on this thread..

Often they say if you keep it I will leave

Usually either way it's the end
This happens to Somone I know her hubby said he didn't want any more kids she fell pregnant he told her to get rid she did he left her a year later has gone on to have 2 children with the new women and due to a infection she has scaring and will find it diffcult to conceive

He would of left her any way but at least she would of had her child

Yep - as everyone else says - if he's trying to emotionally blackmail you into an abortion then the chances are that the relationship is not going to survive anyway.

Which is worse for you - being single with a baby or being single having had an abortion?

If he decides to stick around (and you want him to) - great. But don't make the decision (either way) assuming that it will lead to you and him living happily ever after.