Internals during labour

[seasonticket]

I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my first. I have a "special needs" vagina: it has a pain condition called vulvodynia/vestibulitis.

(I have a history of some docs not seeking full consent in examinations because they think it's all in my head so if I'm just not warned, I won't know it should hurt. I live in Denmark and they don't give Shit One about patient rights. Complaints procedure is basically "did you survive? Well shut up".)

I saw One Born Every Minute and one of the mums said after an internal examination "OMG, she just stuck her entire hand in me!" and I wasn't sure if she was using hyperbole or I was naive for thinking it would be any different.

When midwives check how dilated you are in labour, what's the drill?
I'm lucky, I don't have vaginismus, so they can get in but it'll hurt like billy-o if it's more than a couple of fingers.
And how often do they do it? Is it every hour on the hour or just when they think there is an issue?

I'm interested in having a water birth or a home birth not because I think it might be more relaxing but because I feel like it might minimise consent-lite internals. I want to tell the midwife at my first appointment but I'm so worn down from the "yeah yeah, we'll be careful" that I had during my fertility treatment, I don't know if it'll make any difference to my care.

You can refuse internals

I don't really remember the details but don't recall it causing me anymore pain that I was already in

Yes, you can refuse them beause they tell you nothing about how dilated you will be in half an hour or how close you are to giving birth etc.

And from my experience they just use two fingers and roughly measure how dilated you are by how far they can spread their fingers between your cervix. If that makes sense. They can be a bit rough but I don't remember it causing pain, just dull pressure. You need to ask them to make sure they obtain your consent to touch you and for any procedure though, especially with your condition because that's not fair.

Thanks guys! I'll let them know and see how they react.

I had 3 internals during my labour and they weren't uncomfortable for me at all. I'm a bit of a wimp too but it was totally fine.