Please help reassure me, I'm panicking :(

[Hopefullypanickingfornothing]

Hi all,

I'm not new on here but have changed my name for this one, hope that's ok.

I'm in a bit of a weird situation. Am almost 14 weeks pregnant, by my ex. We broke up, then a few months later we slept together. Drunk and unprotected. Stupid, I know. A week later, still heartbroken over my ex, I slept with someone else. One night stand, never saw the guy again, which is really unlike me - though I guess that's beside the point. We used a condom, because I'm stupid not that stupid (but, you know, we were quite drunk so I always worry it's not been used 'correctly' if you know what I mean).

However. Even though by the dates, and by the fact that I used a condom with one and not the other, I know the baby must be my ex', I can't stop having really intrusive thoughts at the idea that I will give birth to a baby who looks nothing like him and everything like the other guy.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can get past this so I can enjoy my pregnancy?

A few bits of context:

First day of my LMP was 28th March.

• Sex with Ex on 9 April, so day 13 of my cycle
• ONS was /16 April, so day 20 of my cycle
• I have a pretty regular 28-day cycle, I think (I used to track it when ex and I were together, to avoid getting pregnant, but kind of stopped after we broke up)
• I had a positive pregnancy test very early in the morning (only about 2 hours later than the sex was, IYSWIM) on the 21 April, so day 25 of my cycle, 5 days after the ONS.

Please, please tell me there's no way I would get a positive pregnancy test 5 days after sex - it was a clear albeit faint positive on a clearblue (not digital) and I took another one that evening which was a much darker line.

It has to be my Ex', right? I really want to be happy about this, my ex has really stepped up since we found out and he's so excited, I can't bear the idea of breaking his heart.

Please help me :(

I'd defiantly say it was your ex. It takes roughly 10-14 days after ovulation to get a positive test. No way you could have had sex and got positive test 5 days later.

Try not to stress too much and enjoy the journey :)

Reading that, I am in absolutely no doubt that your baby is fathered by your ex. Getting a positive pregnant test 5 days after having sex is pretty much impossible as the egg doesn't even start to implant until around day 6, let along start producing hormones in enough quantity to show on a pregnancy test.

From the information given its your ex's baby.
Please don't beat yourself up about this!! Stop giving yourself a hard time. You've done nothing wrong. Congratulations on your baby

Omg, thank you all so much. You know that thing where you've really been panicking about something and can't think about anything else, and then you get some relief from it, and it makes you burst into tears? Well, that's just happened.

I'm quite an anxious person. I've recently had a bunch of tests done (Nuchal fold, HIV, Toxoplasmosis, etc) and had a scan, and everything has come back completely healthy and lovely, and even a bit big for where I am, so...I dunno, it's like I've had to find something else to worry about. It's been niggling in the back of my mind all the way through but something just exploded in there the last week or so.

Thank you.

Being pregnant can make you mega anxious. I completely understand about you trying to find something to focus it on - I do the same thing. Try your best to relax and enjoy it, easier said than done though, I know.

Yep, mega anxious sounds about right. Why is that? I can't stop stressing about whether my baby will have the 'right' colour eyes, the right kind of nose...what if it doesn't have long legs, like my ex? Etc etc etc. It's exhausting :(