I just need to talk to someone about this. Feeling just generally down.

[superlibrarian]

I've n/c just so this doesn't tie to my usual username but I might be recognisable to people from the antenatal thread.

I don't feel like I've been that excited about this pregnancy much at any point. It is a planned pg (DC2) but I suppose it was a little more OH's idea than mine. I didn't like pg first time around, I knew I probably wouldn't enjoy it much this time. I didn't like getting bigger and slower and having elbows in my ribs and all that. And I don't like it this time around. I'm tired. I'm still being sick 1-2 times a day even on medication. I'm working f/t and have a 4 year old at home. OH does shift work so I don't always have him at home at weekends or evenings to help.

I thought it was just a combination or tiredness and utter, utter fucked off-ness at 4 months of feeling nauseous and randomly throwing up, and not being able to rest as much as I feel I need or want to. And the general miserableness that comes with not being the mum I want to be to DD at the moment, or socialising properly, or even firing on all cylinders at work.

But the past week or so I'm not so sure. I just feel... down. I'm feeling quite disconnected from this pregnancy at the moment. We found out we are having a boy and I'm... just meh about it. Not quite what I expected, and maybe that's thrown me. I'm quite tearful, but not in the let's cry at the abandoned kittens on the RSPCA ad" way. I don't feel as if I'm paying that much attentions to books and TV (usually I'm interested in both) or to friends. I think that I just don't feel much like me at the moment. Just low, frustrated, tired with everything at the moment. Not excited about the future - not anxious about the baby, but I'm thinking more about sleepless nights and having to make new friends and all that, more negative things than good things. Not even particularly excited about choosing a name.

I've got a GP appointment later this week with a GP. I think I just wanted to talk to people at the moment. I don't know whether being aware that I don't feel right means I'm probably just a bit hormonal and tired, or whether that could mean it is something else. Has anyone else had this? Does anyone recognise what I'm describing?

I am feeling much the same way too. 1st child, DH has always been pro-children, I've been a bit more cautious. Now that LO is almost here, I am looking forward to meeting them, but am also feeling really down about the small things that I/we're missing out on. Not going on a holiday this year, being unable to plan for nice days out in the summer. Can't physically do what I want to, and worrying about just how different life is going to be. Getting teary v often. Now that everything is ready for LO, just feeling really flat.

I hope that your appointment goes well.

Good luck with the GP Super, you are absolutely doing the right thing in going. Will try and pluck up the courage to go myself soon maybe.

I could have started this thread. Keep on bursting into tears just sitting down or walking (hobbling) down the road :(

It's my second pregnancy and really struggling. DD is lively near two year old, and I feel so bad not being able to interact with her how I would normally. I'm 33 weeks in constant pain with SPD and my back, and all I want to do is sleep all day. Not helped by the fact I'm being made redundant and I'm meant to be applying for jobs but just don't have the energy or capacity for it.

Feel like I should go to the GP but don't want to go on antidepressants again.

I went to the doctors earlier this morning. She was incredibly helpful, I feel much better for having spoken to her.

Basically - and nicely - she said that she's not too worried. One, because I'm still eating and sleeping and looking after myself, so there are no big red flags. But secondly because she thinks it is much more normal than women talk about. She said that there's an expectation to be excited by everything but it's actually quite normal to not be, especially when you are busy with work or another child. But then all you see are other women going on about how amazing every scan is and all that, and the pressure makes you feel worse because you're not feeling as amazing as that woman online is.

So we agreed that the first thing to do is to let myself be a bit down in the dumps because it's fine. I'm busy and I'm tired and it's perfectly fine to feel a bit miserable about it all and she thinks it would be useful to acknowledge that and not put pressure on myself to feel over the moon right now.

However she was also very happy that if I didn't feel better in a week or two I should go back, and she mentioned that she could certify me for a week or two off, or we could explore counselling or ADs. Oh, and we changed sickness meds in case that helps.

I'm going to try just being a bit lazy and down and not worry about it for a little while and eat lots of chocolate and hopefully this mood will pass.

Good luck to everyone else, I hope those of you with babies coming soon feel better, or those of you a bit earlier like me can make it to the doctors

x

Great! I'm happy to see that your GP told you to go back to see her in a volume of weeks if you still feel down.
Mine didn't so I struggled all through the pg with AND and wo knowing what it was either. It only became clear once I had dc2, the cloud lifted and i felt great (and very much over the moon with dc2).
I suspect that she though AD in pg were a no-no so tried to fob me off as much as possible. :(:(

Could you have a day or two off work, and just to yourself, send DD to nursery?

If I were you I'd have a week or two off, as per the doctor.

We're manically busy and already short-staffed at the moment so I know I'd feel worse taking the next few days off. But we're off on holiday in a week (UK based, with friends, so nice and relaxing) so I will take some time to myself then and hopefully that will help my mood.

If not, I have promised myself that I will try a week off when I come back.

Your GP sounds very supportive - great ! For me bring taken seriously and knowing what my options were made me feel back in control and hence happier. Good luck.