Planning to breastfeed but am I being unrealistic? Advice and experience please

[bippitybopityboo]

I'm 35 weeks pregnant and have always wanted to breastfeed because of the benefits to baby!
After speaking with the health visitor she advised that to establish a good milk supply I shouldn't express milk in the 1st month.
I'm totally happy to breastfeed for the 1st month but the thought of breastfeeding in public is making me cringe and the ideal solution I think would be to express milk for feeds out and about, is this realistic? I'm not totally sure as baby may become confused between bottle and breast?
Just really unsure what to do I have no friends or family who have breast fed and most people around me can't understand why I want to breastfeed so much.

Just want to add that I dont see anything wrong in breastfeeding in public I juse would feel very uncomfortable it's a personal feeling before anyone gets defensive!

Any breastfeeding advice is so welcome!!! Thankyou

I found when DD was a small baby (under 8 months or so) that she didn't feed much when we were out - too much other interesting stuff going on. So once we'd got into a pattern, i timed my trips out around her feeds. Or if i really needed to feed when out, I found somewhere quiet to do it, so that she would.

Of course, later on, she'd bounce onto my lap pull open my top, put her head inside, and roar 'BOOOOBS!' when she wanted to feed.

So that was clear.

But she was older then, over one. And i taught her she was only allowed to do that at home.

But back to you. You need to eat, drink and sleep well to support your milk supply. The time little babies feed for can vary A LOT. Books say 20-40mins is normal. Some can go for over an hour. DD would glug it down, even as a newborn, and i could rarely get her to feed for more than 10 minutes (possibly also because i have small boobs and a strong let down reflex so the milk would literally squirt into her mouth). That worried me a lot, but her weight gain was good, so needn't have.

Research online. there are great videos you can watch showing you how to get a good latch etc.

Don't expect it to be easy straight away. Its like learning to drive a car. Easy when you know how, but quite a complex skill which requires some time to master it, for both you and your baby.

YY to getting some in person support - NCT have breast feeding teachers and counsellors, there are also lots of independent breast feeding consultants.

Good luck! Mumsnet is also v knowledgable to do come on here with any worries and people will help.

First - the first month will pass by in about a second. And you won't go out much.

Second - I felt just the same with my first. I now breastfeed everywhere. You soon get over it.

Just get going and go with the flow

Expressing is a pain in the ass. Don't get me wrong, I expressed one feed a day pretty much every day from 2 weeks but it's time consuming. Save your expressed bottles for much needed me time. Feed under a feeding cover. Bebe au Lait do lovely wired neck ones that mean you can easily keep an eye on baby while staying covered.

Aside from the expressing vs. feeding in public thing, my two pieces of bf advice are:

• Don't worry about baby 'not getting enough' in the first few days as your milk won't have come in yet and baby is just getting the (very very rich and filling) colostrum. Put baby to breast whenever they squeak/ cry and that will give your body the signal to start producing milk
• Do not get freaked out if baby goes through frequent phases of wanting to be on the breast all the time. These are little growth spurts and baby feeding loads is giving body signal to make more milk. Don't take it as a sign that your'e not producing enough milk.

The Kellymom website is an excellent resource for all bf questions. That site got me through so many tough days/night bf my two.

Good luck!

I was nervous about breastfeeding in public as I had never seen anyone do it before.
When I started breastfeeding I suddenly saw women breastfeeding everywhere, I just hadn't noticed them before as generally it is subtle and people are too engrossed in their own lives to notice.

I would arrange to meet other breastfeeding mums out, that helped me feel confident and normal use it.

The feeling nervous is common. I'd pick somewhere you know you will be surrounded by other mums feeding - John Lewis cafe for example. Go with your other half, or take a magazine. Sit with your back to the room. Half the battle is the first public feed.
I think having a hungry/crying baby helps to swamp your nerves too

ime, moms who really can't find a way to breastfeed in public don't breastfeed for long. It's just too restrictive on their lives to have that self-imposed ban.

The best advice I ever had about bf in public was to try putting a chair in front of a full length mirror at home. Makes you realise how little can actually be seen, and you can practise with your scarf /two tops / apron or whatever you prefer to use. I second advice to go out to a bf cafe first. I volunteer at a group sometimes and lots of mums come to try out bf in public.

I also agree that the cases you read about where people have had bad reactions to feeding in public are few and far between but it doesn't seem like it because they get loads of publicity. I was all ready to respond to anyone who challenged me but it never happened in 18 months. Best wishes to you.

I expressed too early and it led to massive oversupply issues which caused me mastitis 4 times in 3 months and put me in hospital and a very fast/strong let down which gave baby horrendous wind!!

I would really truly wait the reccomendes 6/8 weeks if at all possible!!

I was so anxious about fee isn't in public and got very stressed the first time but it was absoloutely fine, no one bats an eyelid and I flashed a fair few people in the early days and I got nothing but "well dones" from those who did notice!

Good luck!!

Big scarves that are easy to wash and don't need ironing. T shirts that pull up, with cardis over. Nothing to see, no need to worry.

Depending on your size and comfort, you might not need fussy 'breastfeeding bras'. I messed around with them for a month or so then went back to my lacy underwires, much easier to just pull down and feed.

You might feel weird in the first couple of weeks, then maybe on particular occasions, but you get used to it.

Breastfed babies are easily portable, often quiet (if you don't mind the happy gulping) and very cuddly.

Go for it.

I rarely fed in public and it certainly hasn't been a problem. I fed if I was visiting my parents or at baby groups (there were always plenty other people doing it too) but other than that I just fed in the car whenever I got somewhere and that would do an hour or so until I was finished. My problem with feeding in public was that I had over supply and fast letdown so would literally spray everything round me and end up soaking whenever DS unlatched, which was very often. There's nothing wrong with not feeling happy about feeding in public, I'm very pro-breastfeeding but still would feel a little uncomfortable about doing it now, despite being 21m in. And not just because people are extra judgey about bfing a toddler!

I felt the same but just decide how you feel once baby arrives, your whole view might change. I felt very shy at first but once i realised no one was looking or cared, it got easier and honestly you'll get good at it. I got a feeding sleeve so couldn't tell.

I was terrified of feeding in public and didn't even try until DD was 6 weeks. It's really fine though, you just need to go for it in a safe environment first. I had a baby massage group run by my HV and they recommended feeding at the end, so we all did. After that I went out a few times with other mums and found that I cared less and less each time.

I tend to feed somewhere quiet if we're out because DD is easily distracted. I've fed a lot in the back of the car and in dedicated feeding rooms. One time I asked if I could use a changing room in M&S because she was screaming and I knew she wouldn't settle in the noisy cafe. People are generally very accommodating.

I was a little nervous about feeding in public and on a few occasions ended up feeding my DD in the back of the car. I also occasionally timed outings for when I knew there was a mum and baby group on that was close by. I got comfortable with it in the end, and learnt that button down tops with vest tops underneath were handy, As could unbutton bottom half and pull down the vest. I did express from the beginning, but was lucky in that expressing was really effective for me, it became a pain still and I ended up just ebf until DD was 7 months then started a slow switch to formula.

I couldn't have kept up breastfeeding if it wasn't for my breastpump - I have a really forceful let down apparently and with both my babies they would pull off and start to cry about 4 days after birth when my milk came in. Being able to express meant I could still give them breastmilk, and empty my breasts (its pretty sore when your baby won't feed). On both occasions, I was eventually able to sort out a solution. With DD1, I used nipple shields until she was a bit bigger, and with DS I figured out a rugby hold position where he could feed. Went back to work at 12 weeks continued to BF until 12 month wit DD and 8 months with DS - expressed 3-4 times a day at work too.

Wow I didn't realise there was this much support on mumsnet for breastfeeding! I'm feeling much more positive after reading all of your comments thankyou I will definitely take all of you're advice on board

Good. It's not really something you can prepare for, just go with it when they arrive. Get settled feeding and then first time just ensure you're in Mothercare cafe, John Lewis quiet corner or even park with a friend. I was in JL with friend for mine and look back and smile to myself about it now, i was all fingers and thumbs but honestly, it is no big deal, you'll be fine but i do recommend the feeding scarfs.

A really useful thing to remember (and this goes for pretty much everything to do with having and raising children) is that there will be nothing, nothing that happens when you're breastfeeding that isn't something that at least a handful of people on here will have had happen to them.

You are never alone, and that can be an absolute godsend when the people around you in real life are maybe not being supportive as they could be.

When things are hard it can feel so great to have just one person say "yes, me too!"