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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

To find out the sex or not?

37 replies

iloveberries · 31/05/2016 19:27

DP and I have our 20 week scan this week.
Praying for a healthy scan and to see baby developing properly.

Secondary to this is the question of whether we "find out".

DP has 2 DDs from previous and I have a DS. First baby together...

DP is keen to know as he's excited and wants to know for practical reasons. I'm not sure whether I want to or not! Both very happy with either gender. Part of me thinks it would be lovely to know but we have both agreed it ruins some of the magic of the day baby arrives!

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MumOnACornishFarm · 01/06/2016 13:05

We're expecting DC2 in November, and I feel torn about this too. Not for practical reasons because we don't particularly go in for gendered stuff, but simply through curiosity vs wanting that amazing surprise.

We wanted a surprise with DS1 but it was obvious immediately at the 20 week scan. Even if we hadn't known then, we ended up having about 15 scans so there's no way it would have been a surprise!

Congratulations OP, hope you can decide what to do before your scan.

limeandsoda93 · 01/06/2016 13:58

I was torn too, but I did end up finding out and I'm glad I did (now 35 weeks). As for practical reasons, we've got all but a few items of clothing second hand from friends (think 2 bin bags full of clothes and other assorted gendered items) and that definitely wouldn't have happened if we hadn't known! Aside from that, I've loved knowing the sex of the baby I'm carrying, but of course I don't know what it would have been like if I hadn't known.

Original poster

iloveberries · 01/06/2016 15:20

Still can't decide!
Think we will probably leave it tomorrow - can always get a private scan later if we Feel we really really want to know.

Just praying baby is healthy

OP posts:

chorltonloveswheelies · 01/06/2016 15:41

IMO no...there are few enough nice surprises in life

PinkParsnips · 01/06/2016 19:36

We didn't find out with DD and we have found out this time (boy). It was amazing to hear DH say it's a girl ar the birth, especially as we were convinced she would be a boy. However with this pregnancy we had to have the nifty test and decided to find out the gender as it was something lovely to take away from a horribly stressful time.
I don't think there's any right or wrong choice, I have been suprised at how many people have had a negative opinion of us finding out though! Not that I care what they think

Original poster

iloveberries · 02/06/2016 09:42

And this morning I am desperate to know!

OP posts:

TheCrumpettyTree · 02/06/2016 10:19

We didn't either time. I'll never forget saying to dh 'we have a little boy' when our first DC was born. It was amazing. And there is plenty of neutral clothing out there. I'm not one for pink and blue anyway.

readingrainbow · 02/06/2016 10:31

We tried to find out last time, but the sonographer wasn't in the mood to look very hard and brushed us off - baby wasn't in an optimal position. I am 9 weeks along with dc#6 and we want to know for sure this time. The surprise has always been fun (we found out with two of them, three a surprise) but I think the entire family will enjoy knowing in advance. I'm interested in doing the blood test thingy so there are no doubts. Must ask mw about it. Additionally, naming the child will be a struggle so we need all the time we can get. Our youngest was nameless for three days before we could settle on something.

There is no right or wrong answer to this question.

RaeSkywalker · 02/06/2016 10:40

We aren't finding out (I'm due in November). I like the idea of a surprise, I have no preference on the sex of the baby, and I want to avoid it being 'gendered' from before birth.

If DH or I were desperate for one or the other, we'd find out.

cheekstime · 02/06/2016 12:36

As couple I would stick to your guns OP... sometimes they don't always get it right anyway. Lovely surprise...and it will be correct. I'm sure I read somewhere that they only get it right 60% of time :/.

I'm not into the gender practical clothes thing. Don't get the pink and blue. Trucks if a boy (a truck driver?) and dollys a girl (a mummy when she's a baby? does she have to be a mummy?). I think is a damaging thing, genderising them but thats the equalitist in me.

Importantly CONGRATULATIONS! and all the very best with scan!

Dowhatyoulove123 · 02/06/2016 12:50

We found out but we've had so many scans that it would be hard to keep it from us tbh..

It was still a surprise at 20 weeks as it would be at 40 weeks.. I've enjoyed bonding with Baby during pregnancy this way..

trixymalixy · 02/06/2016 13:05

It ruins some of the magic imo. My sister found out and he was named ages before birth. The only thing we didn't know in advance was the weight. It was way less exciting than having to wait to find out the sex.

The "it's a..." Moments were very special for me.

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