Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Would you take your DC into the 12 week scan?

52 replies

OrianaBanana · 18/05/2016 20:29

My 12 week scan is booked for when DS (4) is off at half term. My DH is looking after him, so I could go to the scan on my own, or have the two of them waiting in the waiting area and then, if all was OK and it was ok with the sonographer they could both come in and have a look. We meant to tell DS after the scan anyway. But DM seemed to think that was weird, and DS wouldn't really know what was going on.

We have no family locally and we don't know anyone in the area yet to leave him with (and the few other parents we know don't know I'm pregnant).

Is it weird to take him in (assuming all's well and sonographer allows) or is it Ok?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

OrianaBanana · 18/05/2016 21:19

Hmm, leaning towards leaving them both at home now.

OP posts:

Original poster

OrianaBanana · 18/05/2016 21:20

I'm so sorry to hear what some of you have been through

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 18/05/2016 21:21

Sorry Oriana. Most scans are fine.
Can someone look after your four year old so DH comes with you? (Worth thinking about so you are ready come birth time! )

AButterflyLightsBesideUs · 18/05/2016 21:25

Could you take a friend with you if you feel leaving DH at home with DS is the best thing?

Polyethyl · 18/05/2016 21:28

I took my 2yo to my 12 week scan. The hospital were fine with that.
It was a godsend, because when they told me there was no heartbeat we had the toddler to distract ourselves with. During the long wait afterwards for checks, paperwork and setting a date for the surgery the toddler kept our minds occupied.
We got moved into a private waiting room which was overwhelmingly depressing "the grief room" with its tasteful pictures and bland decor. So having the toddler meant we could escape from being trapped in the bereavement waiting room to the normal waiting room and distract ourselves with toys.

wiltingfast · 18/05/2016 21:29

Don't go on your own. Bad news is v v tough if you are alone. Personally I'd just bring the 4yo. Wouldn't choose to but I don't see it as such a big deal I'd go alone. The 4yo will not understand the specifics of what is going on. Just bring some distractions and snacks.

isittimeforarainbow · 18/05/2016 22:19

Having had a 12 week scan with a lethal diagnosis I would always say no, absolutely not to taking a child to any scan.
HOWEVER, with my 12 week scan of this pregnancy we had no childcare and no option but to take our 20 month old dd with us!! But we had had a 10 week scan that gave a good idea that all was well, if we hadn't had that I would have left DH with DD and gone alone.

feelingmiffed · 18/05/2016 22:37

I wouldn't, we took our 7 year old to my 12 week scan and I'd had a MMC . Absolutely no signs and it was awful DS being there and having to listen to it

wigelspigels · 18/05/2016 22:41

We took our 7 year old son to both scans. We had a MMC with our 1st pregnancy, then had DS. We had him involved from the start, since we found out at 4 weeks.

LumpishAndIllogical · 18/05/2016 23:01

At my hospital there were lots of children at scans. I think lots of women simply dont have childcare.

Regarding if something was wrong, that's your preference completely.

If ds was at one of my scans and I had bad news my partner would take him aside and explain, he is 5. I would like to keep him involved and for him to understand why his mummy was sad. I have always talk to him about any difficult stuff happening in our family, illness and loss etc. He's not traumatized or anything by us being open with him either!

So it's all really a personal decision whether you bring DC, also what ever your hospital rules are.

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 19/05/2016 04:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scrumptiouscrumpets · 19/05/2016 12:01

I took DS to my 12 week scan for the same reason as you. Most scans are fine and you get good news so I wouldn't worry too much.

Thurlow · 19/05/2016 12:06

Could you ask a parent from school that your DS is friendly with their child if they can have him for an hour or two?

Salene · 19/05/2016 12:10

We took our 19 month old to both scans, as no baby sitter

Scanner told me loads of children come, they gave us a toy to entertain him

It's perfectly normal to take your child.

Only1scoop · 19/05/2016 12:12

No way after what we have experienced with scans

superwormissuperstrong · 19/05/2016 12:12

I'd advise checking with your hospital. I've had scans at 2 - 1 of them is very clear that children are not allowed whereas the other one is a little more flexible and lots of children in pushchairs also seem to attend that one.
I would really explore options for your son... If it's half term couldn't he go into holiday club for the morning or afternoon?

Original poster

OrianaBanana · 19/05/2016 12:14

I could although they would immediately know why - I've been so sick I've withdrawn a bit from play dates and they probably all think I'm v antisocial and I've never asked anyone to have him alone before/had any other kids ourselves. (Also I am a bit antisocial.) I just don't like asking for favours from people I don't know too well I guess. Wish DM lived closer (and took an interest!).

The hospital says they don't mind having kids about but I'm still leaning towards going on my own - DH just does not seem fussed so I'll leave it up to him to sort if he wants to come.

OP posts:

Original poster

OrianaBanana · 19/05/2016 12:15

I am panicked about what to do with DS if/when I give birth though. I am contemplating going in on my own for that too. To be honest all DH did last time was sneak a bit of gas and air and go to sleep but I suppose it was nice to have someone there.

OP posts:

Babymouse · 19/05/2016 13:26

Do you have any discrete acquaintances? You could just say you are going for a gastro type appointment?

As for the birth I'm sure someone wouldn't mind having him. I've happily looked after other people's children while the mum is in labour. It's exciting to be part of it all in an indirect way! Otherwise, a childminder might work my SIL went into labour unexpectedly early and she took her son to his childminder in the middle of the night and they were happy to have him.

MerryMarigold · 19/05/2016 13:28

I took ds1 into scan (as dh was also with me), but he was just past 2, and so just sat and ate a biscuit. As it happened they found triplets, which was a lot to take in!

firawla · 19/05/2016 19:03

The letter I got from hospital with the date for my 12 week scan emphasised not allowed to bring children and there are no facilities for anyone to mind them while you're in the scan. Might vary from Hosp to Hosp but I think they discourage it.

MerryMarigold · 19/05/2016 19:35

Definitely varies. Ds1 came to all of mine, and I had A LOT.

StarkyTheDirewolf · 20/05/2016 08:23

My letter is quite specific about it; no children please, its a medical appointment and not a suitable environmemt you can bring one person with you into the scan room etc.

I've got mine today, I'm 13 weeks and I'm terrified.

Original poster

OrianaBanana · 20/05/2016 08:34

Everything crossed for you Starky

OP posts:

Ellarose85 · 20/05/2016 11:32

My DS came to my 20 week and a growth scan at the hospital. I didn't have anyone to watch him and it wasn't an issue

Flip

1 2 3