How different was your 2nd pregnancy as compared to the 1st ??

[mumtosp]

Apologies in advance as this may be long and a bit of a ramble.

When I was pregnant with DS1, I was constantly tired during my first trimester. I was working full time, but had a very short commute. At the end of a working day, all I did was come back home and go to bed. DH would wake me when dinner was ready and I would be back in bed after dinner. Weekends were spent sleeping and reading pregnancy books :). Then from my 2nd trimester, I got back all my energy and everything was back to normal. It was actually a wonderful pregnancy.

Now I am 9 weeks pregnant with DC2 and I am really struggling! After DS1 was born, we moved away from work for a bigger house with a garden and good schools. So now my commute back from work is an hour. And of course, once I get home, there is no getting into bed! I spend some time with DS1, get dinner ready, do bath and bed for DS1 and by then I feel dead! DH is still very helpful and is trying to get home early but obviously that is not possible everyday.

When do I find the time to read the pregnancy books!?! I know it may not be as important his time as I have already been through this before, but I sometimes feel a bit guilty towards DC2 for just letting the weeks go by :(

And then there is the guilt surrounding DS1. If I have no energy and DH is busy with housework, DS1 ends up having too much screen time these days. I recently had a few days off with DS1 and it all started off well with farm visits and museum visits, but by the 4th day I was so exhausted I couldn't move. I spent the day lying on the sofa while DS1 watched Brave and Frozen :(

I knew the 2nd pregnancy was going to be harder than the first, so I am not even sure what replies I am expecting from MN. I guess I just wanted a rant. Having said that, any advice would be greatly appreciated :)

Yep, absolutely knackered, feel like a useless parent, rubbish at work (some days just ended up crying), but the end is in sight and now I feel a bit sad that I probably won't get to be pregnant again! It has been a real rough ride though. On the plus side I do think I've stayed a bit more active as you can't get away with quite so much lounging on the sofa.

Alice good to know I am not the only one :) I know what you mean by feeling a bit sad. This is mostly going to be my last pregnancy, which is all the more why I feel I am doing a bad job at it !
I was actually more active during my first pregnancy. I know now I am busy running after DS1 and not lounging on the sofa, but the first time around I continued going to the gym and also did pregnancy yoga. Before I got pregnant for the 2nd time, I used to go to the gym in the mornings.... Wake up at 5 am and be back home by 6:30 am to get ready for work. Now, waking up at 5 am is totally out of question! I am lucky if I can get by 6:30 even :(

Give yourself a break! Pregnant is knackering, looking after your DC1 is knackering, a few lazy days months of watching films won't do your DS any harm. Seriously. I read my pregnancy book regularly the first time round, second time I think I cracked it open for the first time at about 38 weeks, straight to the 'stages of labour' section when I realised I couldn't remember anything about it... I also found we watched a LOT of CBeebies when I was bf DD2 and too tired to go out. Go easy on yourself!

My best tip is, as you have a garden, go nuts on it - get swings, slide, sandpit, whatever you can; a kids' watering can; chunky chalks; waterproof trousers and wellies for your DS1. Then even on days when you're too tired to go out anywhere, you can let him loose in the garden - my 4.5yo can play outside for ages with just a bit of help from me, and so long as they've got warm and waterproof gear they can do it year-round.

Have just hit 30 weeks second time round and keep being asked how I am finding this pregnancy and to be honest not had a chance to barely notice the poor thing!

I have a 20 month old, plus went back 3 days a week with a 45 minute commute so completely get you feeling knackered! It's taken me 3 weeks to unpack the bag of mat clothes we got out of the loft - I have just been rifling through as I need them!

I did have an op at 15 weeks which gave me about 2 weeks to 'relax' but since then its been, work, toddler, work, work, work!

I did more deliberate exercise last time, but have to do more picking up into car seats, putting on little shoes etc this time around and I think that's actually kept me more mobile! On the plus side I'm not obsessing over stuff like what I'll put in my hospital bags, best buggies (soooo dull) and all that stuff - I just don't really care - and you don't get all those annoying 'sleep while you can' comments.

Both pregnancies v different here. Both hard - very different health reasons. This time - am at 30 weeks now - absolutely exhausted in first trimester, partially exhausted second and back in bed I'm so tired in 3rd trimester. DH really pulling his weight with DS1 at weekends and nursery during week is a godsend. Last time was rough too but for diff reasons. Definitely wasn't so tired. I've been diagnosed with anaemia - have you been tested? Midwife should have done your bloods at booking appt and again at 28 weeks I think?

I'm 26 weeks with my second and this pregnancy is definitely taking its toll more than my first, I have really bad spd again but this time much earlier on so I am really struggling! I'm exhausted all the time even when well rested and work is hard due to spd! I worry for my ds as I can't do as much with him now due to spd but I know he is happy so I hold onto that! Iv also put on a lot more weight with this pregnancy as I had to eat to to stop feeling so sick!
I feel like I am wishing the time away instead of enjoying it

Thanks all for your messages :)

Isthere I know how you feel... I want to take some I me to enjoy this pregnancy but I am too exhausted and busy for it :(

Slice thanks for the garden tip! I can really see it working over the last 2 weekends. DS can spend up to 2 hours in the garden without me having to do much :)