Plus-sized Pregnancy

[leotwist]

Feeling hot and tired in the supermarket the other day, I mentioned to the checkout girl that it was probably because I was pregnant and had a cold. When she asked how far along I was, I said ‘Just a couple of months’. To which – with a pointed downward glance – she replied, ‘Oh is that all?’ Cheeky cow Granted I am plus-sized, but I felt like shaking my belly fat at her, Goonies style, and shouting, ‘This? Oh this is just all blubber so far!’

Now, obviously weight is an important consideration when you’re pregnant, and to get regular exercise and healthy food throughout. However, some of us get pregnant at a higher weight than most and, once you are, is not the time for any extreme dieting.

This thread is for the plus-sized mums amongst us (usually classed as size 18+) to support each other without judging or patronising. Your tales, reflections, experiences, resources, rants, etc – all very welcome!

Oh - and I have always had superb non-judgemental care which has treated my BMI as factual and been well supported by midwives and HVs etc. have been invited to take part in a study by a midwife at my hospital about the care so guess it's more common and they are thinking about it more.

Hi all, another plus size mama here! I'm managing okay with maternity clothes but really struggling for nursing clothes. Everywhere seems to stop at a size 18 or 20 but I was that big to start with and will undoubtedly need a size or two bigger to accomodate the post birth bump. Maternity clothes no good for feeding in either. Such a pain.

I did have a positive experience with the midwife today. This is DC4 and I've had home water births for DC2 and 3 already. The rules have changed and they've put me under consultant care but I refused the appt. I asked the midwife today what it entailed just to check I hadn't missed anything. She said "If the consultant said you couldn't have a home birth because of your BMI, what would you do?" And I replied that I would still go ahead with the home birth unless there was something actually wrong. She agreed with me that the consultant appt would be a waste of time and that given that I'd had two successful home births already, she wasn't concerned.
It was so nice to be heard and not be pushed into something or be pointedly told they would have to record me as "refusing".

Yeah, I'm a size 20 to 22 and pregnant (20 weeks) with second child and I'm also in my late 30s. And yes, I do have complications - I have gestational diabetes which began quite early this time (17 weeks) and yes I'm on insulin. This makes my life difficult, but I accept it and was expecting it since it happened in my first pregnancy, if somewhat later. Most healthcare professionals have been nothing but kind and treated me with respect. I do realise I am a 'drain' on resources since I need extra monitoring, but nobody has made me feel bad about that. I carry the higher risk in this pregnancy - well me and my baby, not professionals or anyone else.
I've lost weight since being pregnant too since my diet is now very low GI/lower carb and there's no wine! I care less what people think this time round. Last time I lost a lot of weight after giving birth but every time I encountered a medical professional they would ask me if I'd considered losing weight. This made me angry - I'd already lost a lot of weight and I felt as if I was constantly having my nose rubbed in the fact I was still considered 'fat'. Hopefully I'll be able to lose weight again post birth (breast feeding really helps) but instead of becoming disenchanted perhaps keep the weight off!
So ladies - be kind yourself. You are no less worthy of care than anyone else. But be sensible and do what you can to make your pregnancy as safe as you can for you and your baby.
P.S. I know exactly what you mean purpleporpoise about pregnancy clothes coming in too small sizes!

Fourormore
I did have a positive experience with the midwife today. This is DC4 and I've had home water births for DC2 and 3 already. The rules have changed and they've put me under consultant care but I refused the appt. I asked the midwife today what it entailed just to check I hadn't missed anything. She said "If the consultant said you couldn't have a home birth because of your BMI, what would you do?" And I replied that I would still go ahead with the home birth unless there was something actually wrong. She agreed with me that the consultant appt would be a waste of time and that given that I'd had two successful home births already, she wasn't concerned.
It was so nice to be heard and not be pushed into something or be pointedly told they would have to record me as "refusing".

This post makes my heart sing Four, thank you. I've had 2 x home water births with DC1 & DC2 and desperately want another. I refused consultant led care last time, but accepted extra growth scans at 32 & 36 weeks!

My booking appointment is next Monday, will have my arguments prepared - however, to be fair, in my experience the midwives here are very supportive and home birth friendly, and are just following guidelines.

I was really surprised, lily - I thought I would be put under pressure to at least discuss it with the consultant but I wasn't.

If something changed, like developing GD or if there were growth concerns or anything like that, I'd have a rethink but I'm happy to trust my intuition at this stage

I'm right there with you Four. Good luck. How pregnant are you now? I'm 9+2 wih DC3.

I have a consultant appt on Thursday. I'm less than 12weeks. I didn't realise I could refuse.

Anyone know benefits of consultant led care?
Obviously alot of my birth choices will already be affected due to weight. Birthing centres won't be an option unless I turn up in late stages. Therefore I feel I have to plan a home birth which wouldn't be my first choice either. However I don't feel I want to go to the hospital where I have a lot of unresolved tramua from nor do I want to travel 40 mins in labour!

I have accepted consultant led care in my 3 pregnancies. Two were unremarkable and all it really meant for me was I had a couple of extra scans.

For DD I expressed a preference for a water birth and no one told me it wouldn't be possible but I ended up with a Cat 1 EMCS when I went in to be induced at 12 days overdue and her heart rate was falling. All fine though and I recovered well.

All was straightforward with DS1 - my last growth scan was at 36 weeks when they told me he would be "at least 10 if not 11 lbs" and then asked if I had made a final decision about VBAC v ELCS but when he was born at exactly 39 weeks he was 8lbs7oz.

This time I have GD but they have made similar comments about the likely size of DS2. I will go with their suggestion as to the timing of the ELCS - likely to be 38 weeks I understand, if not sooner, but will point out that size expectations for DS1 were a little off the prediction as don't really want to have DS2 much before 38 weeks unless there is a medical necessity.

I'm another one in the overweight and pregnant club - I'm 33 weeks and my BMI at booking in was 38. I was not referred to consultant led care on that basis, and was told it would be fine to have the baby in the midwife led unit and to have a waterbirth. Weight rarely mentioned and everyone has been very nice.

As it goes, I did develop gestational diabetes. No one has really mentioned weight as a factor there either, although I think it would be ridiculous of me to pretend that it probably wasn't a contributor. However, I've also got rampant family history of both type 1 and 2 diabetes, and I've been given the impression by the consultant that this is probably a bigger factor.

Updating on my exhausting and often rather dispiriting hunt for decent plus-size maternity clothes. (Not usually so concerned about these things, but speaking at conference in Germany halfway through pregnancy). Ended up dropping 'maternity' from searches cos too restrictive. Leading online companies seem reasonable but not much in way of long-line tunics (mid-thigh for 5'8", not hip-length that constantly rise up), floaty tops, loose trousers, etc. For something special but pricey saharalondon and elvi. Ordered wide-leg, tie-front trousers from ASOS; and, for bras & swimwear, missmary.co.uk (though Fantasie still my favourite). Will add more as I find them, and thanks to everyone else for their suggestions!

Interesting reading on How Obesity Became a Disease at www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/03/how-obesity-became-a-disease/388300/.

And everyone considering water or home birthing options, the Big Birthas website is really worth reading.

Just lovely to read you all being so supportive. I was a size 24 when I got pg with my eldest, and a 22 with the other two. I had very supportive staff, never went over 120/80 bp and though tested, never had gdb.

I'm still a biggish mama these days but hey, its more to cuddle - and my 16, 14 and 12 year old "babies" love it and me!

Similar size to me weegiemum! Thanks for your post.

leo - have you tried Asda maternity? Might be too cheap for you (you might be looking for something more expensive), but I was looking online this morning and found loads I liked!! Including a lovely black crocheted back maxi dress for £16 and some lovely wide legged black trousers. Most go up to a 24.

Not pregnant but was a size 22 when I had DS and a size 26 when I had DD, and I can totally relate to the OP's experience of 'oh, you look much further along than that'. Just smile sweetly and inwardly tell them to feck off!

Re maternity clothes, I didn't buy any except for bump bands from Simply Be plus online. I also threaded some thick elastic through a big button, put the button through the hole in my jeans and threaded the elastic around the button, and with a bump band covering the zip from your midriff to the top of your thighs it was a very cheap way of wearing maternity clothes. I also recommend bump bands if you breastfeed as they can be hoiked up around your exposed tummy to give you a degree of privacy if you're wearing a t-shirt.

And try these trousers!

I bought them at an eye-watering price 16 years ago and they're great for over or under the bump and for comfort afterwards!

I love how supportive this thread is too. I'm also 22-24. The trousers on the link look great, weegiemum. And I'll definitely investigate Asda properly too, lilydaisyrose. Much more affordable than the two sites I mentioned; the idea of paying £120 for a shirt just makes me laugh!

Talking of laughs, I had a great one with the nurse at my scan when I inadvertently called myself the 'earth mother' instead of the 'birth mother'! Very fitting !

I told a newly pregnant colleague the other day that all my scans were done vaginally because of "excess adipose tissue". We had a laugh as we're both Dr Who fans and could see the adipose coming from my body. Quite funny at the time

Boogers, I found a t-shirt for you!

Anyone off to the baby show this weekend? X

So, I'm down 7lbs this week with SW!! Can't believe it but I was eating so much crap prior to this and have eaten so much this week, but proper food!!

leo that's fab! Even non pregnant, that's cool, and only nerds will get it!

I bought some flowery maternity lounge pants from Asda today - they are sooooo comfortable.

Hoorah for proper food, ProseccoKiss!

Can I join please? Currently 16+2 with number 2, with a BMI of 34 (ish) and generally a size 16-18. Have to be consultant led due to BMI, but was with DS and everything was fine, so I had him in a midwife led unit, which was great. Also have to have the GTT as diabetes runs in the family, but didn't have It with DS, so I'm hoping will be lucky this time too. Already starting to feel SPD though.

Definitely agree re maternity clothes - especially jeans/trousers. Think I'm going to end up living in dresses and leggings or maxi skirts!