Hi Dusty,
I'm 40 and I found out 3 weeks ago I'm pregnant and I feel past having kids. I have 2 beautiful girls age 4 and 6 who are both at school and our house is pretty civilised and my relationship with my husband is good (it wasn't when they were babies). We are out of the baby/toddler stage and we weren't planning on going back to this.
We did consider having a third but I think it was more me not wanting to admit the baby years were over - deep down I didn't want to go back to that.
I am worried about the physical side (I had SPD, sciatica, morning sickness, antenatal depression and my teeth and gums also really suffered). I am worried about my mental health - I found the first 2 years so stressful and I suffered mild depression. I do not cope well with lack of sleep. My relationship with my husband suffered. I am worried about the financial side - the cost of childcare, bigger car, possibly having to move, holidays etc. I am worried about the social side - everyone I know is done having babies and I would find telling my work, my parents and certain friends (with fertility problems) difficult.
And also the unknowns, what if the pregnancy/birth doesn't go well, what if I have a difficult baby or there are problems.
There is a long list of reasons NOT to but obviously I would feel so guilty if I didn't continue with the pregnancy. We have a loving household and we would somehow make it work. I am 50/50 as to what to do - I switch from one side to the next.
Anyway, I wanted to say that I think it's really normal to feel scared and anxious, especially when it's unplanned and you weren't intending on having that many kids. I'm sure it will get better throughout the pregnancy.
For me it all feels a bit to much to bear.