feeling unexcited, at best slightly worried, early on - normal?

[magnificatAnimaMea]

Everyone I've dealt with this pregnancy, when things have consistently been going right (makes a bit of a change after 7 miscarriages where everything went wrong), has been delightfully positive, but they all seem to expect me to be squealing with excitement. Gynae registrar just giving me the weekly ultrasound (all fine, heartbeat 167) was wittering on about "ooh look at the little darling, ooh I bet you could just watch that all day couldn't you, ooh you must be SOOO excited!!!"

I was just thinking "well, OK, good, all still fine, good so I don't need to book in an ERPC before that next uni assignment is due".

I'm beginning to wonder if (1) I should get help for antenatal depression or (2) I'm just not cut out for this parenthood thing...

I can't judge if your depressed or not from your post but I wouldn't worry yourself about being a parent.

I think your feeling disconnected due to your previous losses. It's a way to protect yourself from being hurt again. Plus with so many losses it's hard to get your hopes up I think.

Trying so hard to have a baby shows already your committed to being a parent, don't you worry, when baby comes ( and probably before ) you'll feel differently ( and at some point probably the same lol )

I feel very disconnected from my pregnancy at the minute. Only 6-7 weeks but with 6 pregnancys under my belt I'm just not convinced and have just carried on as normal

1st pregnancy ended at 26 weeks, he died 2 hours after he was born, then 2 miscarriages, finally got DD, another miscarriage and now pregnant again.

Even with DD when they told me she was a girl all I was interested in was if she was ok and healthy

DP wants me to go for an early scan tomorrow and tbh I don't even want to,

I felt like that without your history. I think it may have been reality kicking in. Don't worry. I literally woke up one morning feeling more positive, but still was never as excited as my husband. When the baby was born it hit me like a sledgehammer. The total love. It'll be fine, I promise.

DiddlyDoddlyDoo, sorry to read your history, that sounds really tough . Good luck with your scan.

Tigger thanks for the reassurance. Yes it does feel like I'm staring down the barrel of considerably changed life, which will be desting to say the least.

*testing. Not sure what desting is.