Having a wobble about birth choice

[kiki22]

I've been pretty much dead set on a planned section since before I fell pregnant, consultant has agreed it in principle as a maternal request there is no medical need for it, however the last month pretty much since they agreed it I've been wondering if I do actually want a section.

My first I was induced loads of intervention ending in forceps, an episiotomy and 2 second degree tears. I'm not a great healer and am prone to infections, I didn't heal properly and had 2 infections, had to go back to fix some stitching with local anathetic which was horrendous this all lead me to think I want a section. There has been no lasting damage (4 years later) apart from mentally I'm wondering if I'm putting myself through a major OP through fear instead of for the right reasons now.

I had an emergency c-section with my first and vbac with second- for me personally I would choose a vaginal delivery, as my recovery from surgery took ages and I had an infection with my stitches.

Everyone is different and every birth is different, I definitely would not want a c-section this time round and have opted for a home birth, but having a heart problem and having a vbac they may not let me (as you can only push for an hour after a cs). If I am not allowed a home birth I am going to try for a water birth in the hospital.

I can totally understand why you would opt for a cs, definitely discuss your fears with your midwife and if you can opt out at the last minute then that's worth knowing. The recovery from a c-s is about 6 weeks from what I remember (ds is now 11) and if your first child is starting school it's worth knowing it's not as 'easy' recovery as a normal delivery; that said it wasn't for you first time around. I hope you make the right decision, good luck :)

Thanks for everyone's input. I'm waiting to hear back from the midwife for an appointment to come and speak to her. Got a right arsey MW on the phone who told me just to wait until 26 weeks for my regular app hoping my own MW is nicer about it.

Kiki I'm sorry you had such a tough time with your first birth - it sounds as if you were under terrible stress because of your Grandad's illness and there's nothing like pressure to "get on with it" to stop your body from relaxing and doing what it needs to do.

Does your hospital have a listening service? I was offered an appointment at mine to talk through what happened with my first birth - I didn't take them up on it for reasons I won't bore you with - but they would have had access to the notes and been able to talk me through it all - it occurs to me that something like this might be helpful for you.

I don't think opting for a homebirth sounds at all crazy...maybe it is just what you need, to take the hospital environment, with all its negative connotations, out of the equation for you. Your midwife will be able to advise you about whether this is a safe option for you in all the circumstances.

The one thing I would add into the mix is whether or not this is likely to be your last child? The reason I ask is that my c-section left me infertile, due to adhesions that formed in my uterus and fallopian tubes. I've not met anyone else that this has happened to, so I assume it is quite rare, but it certainly was not something I was warned about before having my c-section. I am now pregnant again, but it has taken 6 years, corrective surgery and 8 rounds of IVF...

One other thing I meant to say: make a birth plan. It's perfectly okay to say that you would like to try for a vaginal delivery, but that if you need forceps, you would prefer to go straight to a c-section.

Gosh you poor thing. I sympathise as my first experience was similar to yours (without adequate pain relief too). I've just had my second baby and chose VB again and I'm so glad I did. I always said I didn't want two scars in two different places, and I was aiming for a water birth in a MLU which I'd been told I was much more likely to achieve second time around (and less likely to tear). I still had to have some stitches but at least they were caused naturally, not by an instrument or an over zealous doctor!!

I also did a hypnobirthing course which really helped. If you can put your fears to one side it really helps with the birthing experience. If you want to try again for a VB please look at all your options. I really laid some ghosts to rest with this last birth.

This will be my last we couldn't afford a third and always pictured my self with 2 so ive no worries there.

My tears actually healed really well it was the episiotomy that caused the problems I think I would rather tear than be cut tbh. I've done lots of thinking and its really the hospital I'm scared of, intervention and being stuck in there which I found hellish. I just need dp on board and can look into my options they poor guy is terrified of natural labour again I think he found it as hard as me hes very much a doer and struggled to watch me and not be able to step in and fix it for me.

My DP was worried too. It was a traumatic experience for him. Again, I would ask about hypnobirthing as it involves the birth partner more and gives you both more knowledge and control. My hospital seems to have changed its attitude since our last experience, maybe yours has too?

Yes, I can understand that, I felt like that too - and when the hospital develops negative associations for you, it compounds it.

Do you have someone like a sister or close friend that you can have as a second birth partner? There's research that says people who do have shorter, easier labours - and they can be there to give your DP support and/or a break, too.

Could you do a hypnobirthing class, or similar?

I'm not sure about the hospital policies but all my dealings so far they have been very helpful and understanding, I know someone having a home birth just up the road and they wee great about a section so I'm thinking they are pretty open in this area.

I know dp will go with whatever I say he would never push me but I would like him to be on board not just going along with it, hopefully getting him involved will help

Just wanted to update I seen my midwife today she said I can have any birth I want from home birth to section 😀 She has arranged another consultant app and some councilling then back at 28 weeks (6weeks time) we can have another chat see how I feel then. Feel much more positive knowing she's in my corner

I understand. I had two hideous vaginal births with maximum intervention, tearing, infection and massive babies! It's a no from me to another attempt at natural birth...will be having a section.

November child can I ask about your second vaginal birth? Did you consider a section, and were you very happy about going through it again or terrified?

Course you can :)

I wasn't offered a section. I wish I had asked, now. I hoped that my first bad one was a one-off and I should think for a lot of people, it is, but I wasn't lucky with that!

Don't be terrified, though. Whatever you decide, it is easier if you try and stay calm :)

Thanks. Ive got loads of time to decide I'm very lucky where I live they seem to have the mothers health and opinion at the top of the list.