From day 1 I haven't been able to be excited for our very much wanted baby due to crippling anxiety/ depressive thoughts. I thought after the mw app and 12 week scan i would be put at ease, but no i am nearly 15 weeks and have never felt so low. I am utterly convinced something is going to go wrong and am still knicker checking every 60 mins+ even though I have no history of miscarriage. On one hand I know I'm being irrational but on the other I'm feel as though it's my gut telling me something will go wrong. I also feel like I'm not coping with hormones very well, I often wake up and within seconds am in tears, Im not sure why I just feel 'broken' and then of course I convince myself it's because my body knows I won't make a full term healthy baby. I just want to be alone in bed and able to cry or sleep, i hate work, people and dont want to be around my friends which is just not me at all. Does anyone else get these thoughts and how do you manage? How am i going to manage another 25 weeks of this (hopefully) Is this just normal hormones stuff that everyone giggles about? Because it feels a bit more sinister than that, although I'm hoping to God it is.