Bad Midwife Experience/Scan

[MrBensMrs]

Apologies for the length of this post!

Starting from the beginning, I had an appointment with my doc to confirm my pregnancy and they referred me to the midwives.

I come under the Birmingham Women's Hospital.

I have a private external scan at 7 weeks and see a heartbeat.

My first appointment with a midwife was at 8 weeks to fill in my green book. A trainee came to the house and met myself and my husband , told me my midwife would be 'Beth' and gave me her details and asked if I had been booked in for my blood tests - which I hadn't. She said, oh will go back to the office and book those for you and text you to let you know - weird but okay. That was a Friday lunch time.

Monday mid morning, I get a text to say booked me in for x date in a local clinic - I text back that I work and have meetings I can't miss so can't do that time, she replies - can you ring blah blah and re-arrange. Which I did. Booked in and attended blood tests, told them I was nervous which they poo pooed a bit and then poked and prodded both arms as they couldn't get all the blood they needed from one arm, I also gave a urine sample.

Receive a letter in the post for my dating scan, attended on Friday at 13 weeks at a different local clinic/doctor's surgery at 2.30pm and the receptionist made a point of telling the assistant midwife who took me through - last appointment bet you'll be glad to go home. Husband and I sit with the assistant and another woman on a computer who is reading out my blood test results (all fine!) I do a Carbon monoxide test, weighed and height and blood pressure - machine played up and I am ask what is my normal blood pressure - erm, I don't know is that something I am supposed to know? I rarely have it taken!

I am told due to my BMI I have to be consultant led and this will mean more scans later on to accurately measure baby - fine by me.

Then led into a different room with a different woman to do the scan, I lie down, she has run out of jelly but forcing it out of the tube and shaking it and says 'you're the last appointment today so it's nearly all gone'. The screen is turned away from me but hubby can see it, she starts to scan, then after I say why is everyone silent she turns it around and says we can't see much, here's the head here's an arm. Keeps pressing and pressing, turns the screen away, says I can't get a good look - can you half empty your bladder - which I do. Come back, eek out the dreggs of the jelly again and try again - nope, can't see anything and now she's hurting when she pushes down with the scanner.

Tells me to get dressed and says 'We can't get any measurements and can't see much we need to book you in at the Women's Hospital for an internal' I said well, it's late I am already 13 weeks - she says we can get you in next Friday. I say can't you do any earlier as I am in london and can't get out of it - oh can't you cancel, no I can't, fine - goes off for 10 mins and comes back and I am booked in for Thursday 07/04. I say what about my blood tests (I mean the down's test) she says you have had them, I said no I was told I would have bloods today - she points at my green book with the results of last bloods and says in her most condescending voice - YOU ONLY HAVE THEM ONCE AND YOU HAD THEM - I said those results aren't for downs and she says oh, no we have to do them to the day of the scan and we couldn't scan you so you have them next week.

We get sent home upset and confused! So book in for a private scan. We went on Sunday and thank goodness it was an external and an ex midwife did the scan and said all fine, nuchal measurement looks fine, heartbeat strong, nose bone present etc and I could have cried with relief!

Today I ring up to make my 16 week appointment and am told rather sharply by the community midwives that my midwife has changed to 'Diane' and that I have to ring my doctor's surgery for the 16 week appointment - which I do and they can't get me in til I am 17+5.

Does this mean I won't have the screening results til nearly 18 weeks nor have met my own midwife til then?

I know I am hormonal but this is our first child, I don't know how things work or what to expect (and yes I have been googling and reading the nhs website) and I feel the way I have been treated so far has been shoddy at best and been passed pillar to post and uncared for.

I wanted to rant and ask are things normally this dis-organised? Is it normal not to be told why they couldn't see passed my babies head or that I won't meet my midwife til 18 weeks?

Thanks

I think it sounds like rubbish behaviour

I would agree with what mindful said. Midwives seem to be a revolving door in many places and scans and appts often don't fit working mothers/to be.

I think that they need to be reminded every morning that this is a frightening and vulnerable time for many/all women and that they could take a minute to speak kindly

Congrats on your pregnancy! Just a few things

She said, oh will go back to the office and book those for you and text you to let you know - weird but okay
No that's not weird. They need to check on their system and very often you will be allocated an appointment, of course you're then allowed to change if it's not suitable.

Booked in and attended blood tests, told them I was nervous which they poo pooed a bit and then poked and prodded both arms as they couldn't get all the blood they needed from one arm
Normal for having blood taken.

and the receptionist made a point of telling the assistant midwife who took me through - last appointment bet you'll be glad to go home
?? Just banter between two work colleagues. What's the problem?

I am ask what is my normal blood pressure - erm, I don't know is that something I am supposed to know? I rarely have it taken!
So just say then. It's a common question and something I ask my patients. We like to know if you have a baseline. For many people a higher blood pressure is normal, for some a lower. It's helpful to know whether your BP is normal for you or it's changed during pregnancy. If you don't know then that's fine, but it's worth us asking.

she has run out of jelly but forcing it out of the tube and shaking it and says 'you're the last appointment today so it's nearly all gone'.
You'd be surprised at how much you can get out, please try not to worry.

nope, can't see anything and now she's hurting when she pushes down with the scanner
It can be uncomfortable sometimes but you're completely within your rights to tell them to stop

We can't get any measurements and can't see much we need to book you in at the Women's Hospital for an internal' I said well, it's late I am already 13 week
That's not their fault, if they can't get a visual then they needed to do it.

she says we can get you in next Friday. I say can't you do any earlier as I am in london and can't get out of it - oh can't you cancel
As you can't get out of your London appointment they can't get out of their appointments with other women

she says you have had them, I said no I was told I would have bloods today - she points at my green book with the results of last bloods and says in her most condescending voice - YOU ONLY HAVE THEM ONCE AND YOU HAD THEM - I said those results aren't for downs and she says oh, no we have to do them to the day of the scan and we couldn't scan you so you have them next week
Clearly made a mistake and she shouldn't have been condescending.

or that I won't meet my midwife til 18 weeks?
Service pressures. Maternity services are notoriously under staffed and under resourced. It's a horrible reality and women suffer because of it. It's not fair, it's not good, but it's not you and it's not your fault or theirs.

I'm really sorry you feel badly about this experience and it's completely understandable that you feel worried, I'm not trying to be an arse by writing under your quotes but I'm just trying to explain somewhat. Nothing here is out of the ordinary and nothing has gone wrong, no-one acted wrongly except when they spoke in a condescending manner to you. You aren't being passed pillar to post, you're being referred to the services that can help you best. If one service cannot obtain results or cannot give you the care you need then you will be sent to someone who can.

I hope that might have helped a little bit and I'm glad the other midwife managed to complete the scan - please understand that sometimes it's very difficult to obtain what they need and it can depend on a few factors, it's not an exact science and it doesn't mean that they're incapable or anything like that

If you wish to complain about your experience, and I think the thing that's mainly your upset is the way they spoke to you then you're completely within your rights to speak to PALS as has already been advised. Everyone deserves to be spoken to properly.

Again congrats on your pregnancy and I wish you the best! I always get a little bit excited for posters when they're having all the 'firsts'. I wish you'd had a better experience but I'm sure you'll have some lovely times

Just one thing have you used real names in this OP?

Great post, Grays

I have had three different midwifes this pregnancy, I think it's rare to get one who will see you through these days.

I had 5 scans with first baby (all NHS due to issues with baby not in right position and growth scans) all of them had visibility poor on the notes - due to my BMI - the screen looked fine and so do our pictures but I have nothing to compare to so guess they are used to clearer pictures.

Similar happening this time.

My husband has often commented how much pressure they have to put on the wand to do the scan, it is uncomfortable but I just smile and hold tummy out of the way when asked!

Appointments are always a challenge, if you are consultant led and its anything like mine be prepared for more receptionists who won't budge - I am in a job its very hard to miss time and work part time so try to have a balance but taking 18 month old to a GTT test is not my idea of fun so sometimes it does impact work - I would get used to it as consultants are even less flexible in my experience.

First pregnancy I saw a different midwife each appointment, this one I have seen the same one 2 out of 2 so far!

I'm sorry you feel you have had a bad experience but can only echo what other people have said about it being normal and apart from perhaps lacking in sensitivity, I don't see anything wrong. Don't forget though that these same people will have spent the day with other women who will have been given very bad news following their scans and whilst there is never any need to be rude or unprofessional, it is probably far easier for them to maintain a certain manner.