12 week scan

[user1459282798]

hello- I've got my 12 week scan tml we decided to go private as the hospital was mucking around abit with the time of scans and wasn't that helpful and we couldn't wait any longer. I'm just so scare that I'm going to go to the scan tmo and there give me bad news. I have had no signs of missed carriage no bleeding no pains nothing. my symptoms have eased off I never was sick and only felt sickness but they have all gone and I'm just left with headaches is thi normal and can anyone give me some advice for tmo please

[Oooblimey]

Also to add, I had to wait two weeks for an appointment to have the tablet xx

[Alicejj8]

Thankyou for your reply- I don't know how to private message on here lol.
I needed to hear that I think, so you had to stay in the hospital untill it had passed through you?? and did it all clear away fine with the tablet as I've heard sometimes it doesn't all go so they you will need surgery which is something I really do not want :( did you have to go back for any scans or anything after the tablet??
I'm sorry to hear about your loss :( irs just so crazy isn't it to get your head around I think :( xxxx

[Alicejj8]

oh two weeks to wait? I wonder if that will be the same as I got a hospital appointment on Friday for them to do more scans I think then I think there give me my options xx

[Oooblimey]

Hi, yes I had to stay in until it passed. I took a nightie, dressing gown and slippers with me to be comfy. I was put in a private room so I wasn't on a ward with other people. When I passed it, the nurse had to examine it (hence everything having to be done into cardboard trays) so that the nurse can ensure that everything that should be out comes out.
Yes it was two weeks I had to wait but that was over the Easter bank hol so maybe it won't be as long. That's just made me realise it was a year yesterday!
You will be fine chick. I think the waiting and anticipation is worse than the actual event xx

[Oooblimey]

The nurse was happy everything was out so I didn't have to go back for checks or scans x

[Alicejj8]

Oh no a year yesterday are you okay sorry to have to make you relive it over again :(
I see I will prepare myself for all of that and I'm so glad I know what will come as I would hate to be in the dark about it.i shall keep you updated Friday if that is okay :)
yes I think the waiting is the worst part isn't it as I don't know what to come 100% I wish it was tmo lol. what hospital dos you go to??
I hope everything will be simple for me like take tablet and then it's all clear so I don't have to relive any more of it. xxx

[Alicejj8]

Thankyou so much for your comments xx

[FifiRebel]

So sorry to hear your news Alice X

[ktkaye]

Hi Alice, I am so sorry for your loss. It's such an awful shock. I had a mmc last year (like you it had stopped growing at 6 weeks but my body carried on to 12). You mentioned you are 'a wimp' when it comes to operations so just in case you were wavering I wanted to reassure you about the surgical option. I originally wanted to opt for a natural miscarriage as I was frightened of the procedure, but my mum (a nurse) pointed out that whilst the baby was not very developed, in my case everything else (placenta etc) was at 12 weeks and therefore the blood loss I could expect might be quite dramatic. Absolutely fine and something lots of women can and do manage but something she felt I should know. No one else at the hospital had warned me about this and for me I felt that the uncertainty and waiting might be a bit much. The ERPC I opted for was absolutely fine. I was very nervous but the staff looked after me so well. Only a slight discomfort as the cannula went in and then it felt like going to sleep. I was only under for half an hour and back home on the sofa two hours after I had gone in to the theatre. Bit sore but v little bleeding after and I was relieved it was over so I could grieve. My period was back after 6 weeks and very light for a few months. I know some women experience heavier periods after this procedure so it's quite individual.
What ever you decide, be kind to yourself and take the time you need. Lots of people here to support you 💐

[Alicejj8]

Thankyou so much for your story I enjoy hearing people's stories of the same thing that is happening to me just so I know what to expect. I have heard that the bleeding isn't very nice if you opt for the tablet or just to let nature run its course. Thankyou for letting me know about your experience I am just such a wimp literally I have only been put to sleep once and that traumatised me I would 100% opt for the operation if my health would be in danger don't get me wrong but because I am just so so so scared I think for now the best thing I do is for the tablet I wish I could be so brave like you and have the surgery as I know the healing time is better whereas with the tablet you don't know when it'll start and what it'll be like. I am going tmo to have a chat with the hospital and for them to do more scans and do a heart beat check which the thought of me having to relive it again is horrendous but I guess they have to be sure don't they. they won't make me go to sleep unless that's the option I want will they??
I just can't help feeling like there is something wrong with me or that it's my fault the baby didn't develop properly and I know I shouldn't ever feel like that :(
Thankyou all so so much xxx

[ktkaye]

Of course they won't force you to go to sleep if that's not what you want. Taking the tablet is a very safe option that is preferred by lots of women. If it will help you, take a list of questions to ask and they will be able to reassure you. It might also be worth asking whether you will need to be admitted while the tablet works or whether they send you home (I think it varies). They usually give you a list of things to bring if you do need to stay in the hospital, even briefly.

Something that helped me get through the bleeding/aching after was having some home comforts to hand. If you can, Nip to the shops and get some good absorbent towels ie the long night time ones, some wet wipes (helped me to feel fresh around my legs and things while I was bleeding) and plenty of over the counter painkillers and a hot water bottle, which helps with cramps. I also found silly things like choosing a nice shower gel, some trashy magazines and making sure my bedding and pjs were washed and ready for when I came out was helpful and made me feel a bit more human. Ditto getting a few ready meals in in case you don't feel like cooking.

I and so many others know exactly the feeling that having to have more scans etc leaves you with. Do you have anyone you could take to support you? There is no doubt that this will be a very difficult time for you, but you'll get through it. X

[Alicejj8]

Yeah that sounds good I think I'll get some magazines and some chocolate :) any excuse for that lol.
yes I just think for me the tablet would be ideal and like you say so many people choose it don't they. But I have been readinf about local anesthetic where I could be awake whilst they do it however I don't know of that is at every hospital they offer that service.
my boyfriend will be with me he has been amazing support and just lets me cry when I need to bless him he is also very upset as we both was so happy when we found out o was pregnant but he is having to be the strong one for both of our sakes :)
Thankyou so much xxx

[positivity123]

alice I'm so sorry this happened to you. A very similar thing happened to me in July last year and I found this thread to be very useful. People share their stories so you know what to expect.
I started bleeding at 12 weeks and found it was a mmc and I had a natural miscarriage which took about 10 days of bleeding with about 4 heavy days and I passed the sac down the loo. It was not too painful, more like a severe period and I was glad I could be at home the whole time, eat, sleep and cry in privacy. Wishing you all the best.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/1344311-Tips-for-coping-with-the-practicalities-of-miscarriage

[Alicejj8]

Thankyou so much for your reply that has really helped and I have. been looking at that link you posted and that is what I need to read I think so Thankyou very much :)
I've heard so many stories about painful or not painful with miscarriage it's just the unknown that's scary I think isn't it.
I'm just so nervous about it all- I don't understand why I haven't miscarried yet as it was 6 weeks ago I lost it but only found out yday about it so I'm unsure as to why I still haven't started the process? maybe I need that tablet to help it all fully or maybe my body just isn't ready to let it go yet? I've been having weird little light cramps today nothing major and just feel like slight period/ hunger pains I don't know if this would be the start of it all? of it all being natural. I really really don't want to be put to sleep so I am Hoping the tablet option will work with me Thankyou so much X

[ktkaye]

I felt exactly the same way ie how come my body hasn't realised something wasn't right? I took some small comfort from the idea someone else gave me that it just meant my body was really good at looking after a pregnancy, something just went wrong with the baby itself and there's nothing I nor anyone else could have done about that. My midwife said to me that 'nature makes mistakes all the time' and she's right. It doesn't make it easier but it is an explanation of sorts. It is absolutely no ones fault and far far more common than you realise before it happens to you ...and then suddenly everyone you know has had or knows someone who has had a loss.

[Alicejj8]

that's what I got told that my body is desperate to be pregnant so is holding onto it maybe this is why I haven't had any bleeding yet as my body so desperately wants to be pregnant it's so sad isn't it.
I am just so worried tmo there going to tell me I have to have surgery I should be offered options shouldn't I?

[ktkaye]

Please try not to worry, you'll be offered options. Unless they start to get worried about the risk of infection there's always the opportunity to wait for nature to take its course too. The midwife is there to help you and reassure you, don't forget they (sadly) see this every day and will be able to talk you through everything. No one can force you to do a thing. X

[Alicejj8]

I am worrier a bad worrier so just need them to tell me I have other options than surgery ( general anesthetic ) as I've heard you can have local where your awake and they do a little operation which I think I could handle. I'll let you know how it goes today it's at 1.20 xx

[Oooblimey]

Hi Alice, I hope you got the answers you need. I've had some bad news at my scan today. Heartbeat has stopped. I'm having another managed MC, tablet again. Good news is that they can do it on Monday which I was surprised about as last time, as I've already said, I had to wait 2 weeks. It's just shit isn't it? Hope you're doing ok xxx

[Alicejj8]

I am so so so so so sorry to hear about your loss you poor thing :( I really hope you are okay :( bless you. I don't even want to write what happened to me today because what you've gone through today is awful I don't want it to be about me :( but I know this will help other people but I am only putting it on as people have asked if today went well bjt I am really really thinking of you :( I am so confused with it all right but bjt they want me to come back Friday at 8.50 to have another scan to just make sure there is defo no heartbeat! which is awful as I know there isn't but there confused about my weeks and can't be sure that I'm not 2-4 weeks and at that stage there wouldn't be a heart beat so she said come back Friday and they can do another scan to confirm if there is a heart beat or not :/ just making me even more confused tbh :( and they don't do the tablet at the Royal Berks nightmare so I would have to either go to another hospital for the tablet or I can have surgery where I'm awake at another hospital xxx

[ktkaye]

Gosh that all sort of adds to the turmoil doesn't it? Well.... Is it at all possible you are still pregnant but just much less pregnant than you thought? I'm sorry to hear it's all going to drag on a bit longer but at the same time it's best to check, just in case. How are you feeling?

[Oooblimey]

That could be positive if they think the dates may be wrong, I really hope they are! Best to double check but I totally understand that every day until the scan feels like a year! Whatever the result I really really hope at some point you get a happy ending xx

[Alicejj8]

Your both so kind :)
I don't know how to think about it I think I'm just thinking the worst

so my dates could be completely wrong as I stopped my pill on the 28th December 2015 and had my withdrawal bleed on the 2nd January so the dates they have are only based upon my last period day which they have taken as the 2nd January hence them thinking I am around 12 weeks but the fetous is apparently 8 week? I have had a vaginal examination and they couldn't pick up a heart beat and apparently my sac isn't looking like a sac should be like round irs abit misshaped ? I don't know what to think cxx

[1moretime]

Bless you, you are going through it arnt you hun? Aww I just want to wish you lots of luck & send you lots of hugs xx

[Alicejj8]

Thankyou so much xx