Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Morning sickness and husband hassling for sex

27 replies

DuckWaddle · 28/03/2016 09:46

I'm week 6 and suffering with bad morning sickness, something I had in my last pregnancy. I'm also very tired (no surprise given I have a toddler in tow and am pregnant!) but my husband is sadly making it so much worse. He's very angry that I won't have sex and seems to think his grumpiness and anger is justifiable. The sickness is so bad there is no way I can think about sex. Am I going mad to think this way?

OP posts:
FifiRebel · 28/03/2016 09:48

Of course you're not mad! He's being selfish and unfair

girlinacoma · 28/03/2016 09:54

Offer to get on top to show him what a game girl you are.

Then throw up all over his selfish fucking face.

WellErrr · 28/03/2016 09:55

Wow. He sounds fucking awful.

Sorry OP Sad

Strictly1 · 28/03/2016 09:57

Wow! What a prat and that's putting it nicely!

ClopySow · 28/03/2016 09:59

Best answer ever girlinacoma

Aussiemum78 · 28/03/2016 09:59

He's angry at you for being sick?
And hassling you because it's hard for him to miss a few weeks of sex - when you are pregnant for 9 months?

Utterly selfish and immature. He doesn't seem to care about your feelings at all.

What do you want to do about it? I wouldn't blame you for being too sick to do much about it right now. Look after yourself and ask your family for help. He can wait if you can't confront the problem now.

iklboo · 28/03/2016 10:00

Came on to pretty much say what girlinacoma said.

Annarose2014 · 28/03/2016 10:00

I think A Big Row is justified at this point.

I am in Wk 15 and could only get back on the horse (so to speak) in the last week after a horrendous first trimester. So it was about 7 weeks or so with no action. DH never uttered a single murmur. Actually he had the tact to never utter a single word and it was me who finally felt well enough to broach the subject recently.

If he had been pestering me in Wk 6 I would have gone fucking POSTAL. I think you need to shut him down, as strongly as possible. "I will not be shagging you until I feel well enough. End of. That could be weeks. Deal with it. Your role is to take care of me - this ain't it, mate"

Scarydinosaurs · 28/03/2016 10:03

What a prick.

Pinklily1 · 28/03/2016 10:25

Wow, what an idiot. I"m week 18 and we've only DTD twice since January. Like Anna, my OH hasn't uttered a word about it, as he appreciates that it takes two to tango, he played a large part in my becoming pg and therefore a part in my feeling so sick.

Your husband needs to grow up and suck it up. If he's that bothered, I'm sure he can please himself for a while.

SmallBee · 28/03/2016 10:27

Be sick on him.

SmallBee · 28/03/2016 10:29

Or start getting really grumpy and angry with him for not doing all the cooking, housework, childcare etc. See how he likes it.

primarynoodle · 28/03/2016 10:34

My dp goes through phases like this but instead of outright asking he is just "moody" with me but its very clear why.

Eventually i called him up on it, told him it was borderline rapey, incredibly unattractive and i would be ashamed of we had a boy and he pulled this stunt on any poor women he ever got pregnant as id hope we would raise him to have more respect for other people...

Sounded a bit ott but actually i think it was quite right and it sorted the problem (after he denied and sulked for a bit)

AlisonWunderland · 28/03/2016 10:37

Tell him to have a wank.

No, tell him to make you a cup of tea and then have a wank

SeraOfeliaFalfurrias · 28/03/2016 10:47

Ask him if he genuinely wants and would enjoy using an unwilling woman to satisfy his sexual urges. Point out this is rape and ask what kind of man that makes him. Ask him why he thinks he's more entitled stick his dick in you than you are to feel safe, cherished and healthy as you grow and nurture his child.

seven201 · 28/03/2016 12:02

Definitely puke on him!

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 28/03/2016 12:08

This is called sexual abuse. He's attempting to bully you into sex you don't want, he thinks he has the right to have sex with you even when you don't want to. That's sexual abuse.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 28/03/2016 12:16

Angry op my husband didn't once pester me for sex whilst I was pregnant and if he had I'd have been really angry. Being pregnant is hard work. Tell him to back off and sort himself out if he's that desperate Angry

sizethree · 28/03/2016 15:01

Oh dear, I'm so sorry he's being so vile and unreasonable.
Firstly, sex is very much a two way decision. He's not 'entitled' yo have sex with you just because you're in a relationship.
I was so terrified of having sex during pregnancy (we had several loses before a sucessful pregnancy, none related at all to intercourse but the thought of DTD and having any sort of bleeding really just put me entirely off it and I decided that it was only going to be a baby exit from then on!) that we abstained from the moment we got a BFP.
We are big hugger & snugglers and still had intimacy that way and well, ahem there were a few 'reliefs' which I helped out with and many more on his own time.
Please don't ever feel pressured into sex. It's incredibly unfair of him and dangerous in a relationship.
Do try and have an honest conversation with him about how I well you feel and that his behaviour is making you feel worse and uncomfortable with him.

arabellaandbaby · 28/03/2016 15:45

What a barsteward. Tell him where to go, and it ain't near you.

fakenamefornow · 28/03/2016 15:59

If he's like this now, while you're sick, what was he like after you had your first child? Didn't you have a 'no sex' period then?

Osirus · 28/03/2016 16:03

We haven't done it all since January - not mentioned it at all!

Junosmum · 28/03/2016 17:20

We had sex a grand total of 4 times when I was pregnant- I felt horrific for the first 30 weeks and after that the logisitcs were difficult!

DH 'put the moves on a few times, but when I told him I wasn't in the mood he was totally fine about it, he just wanted to ensure I knew he still felt that way about but was not putting pressure on me, sulking or moaning.

What your husband is doing is not ok and he's a twat.

Original poster
DuckWaddle · 28/03/2016 17:39

Pleased to hear I'm right in my conviction that it isn't ok! I haven't got the energy for full blown row but I think (or hope!) he's understood now. Still don't think he quite gets it as keeps saying I need to have sympathy for his situation!!! But anyhow, I've made it clear that until I'm post sickness stage there will be no shenanigans!
Yes, the same problem came up after the birth of my daughter as I had stitches that wouldn't heal (required an op in the end). He didn't deal with that well at all and I must say its hindered the relationship hugely. It all started coming back to me this morning after hearing echoes of how it was then

OP posts:
FellOutOfBedTwice · 28/03/2016 17:50

Jesus. What an arsehole. I'm 18 weeks pregnant and we've had sex exactly once since the conception due to some unexplained first trimester bleeding and severe sickness. If my husband dared get stroppy I would literally tell him to go and get fucked. Couldn't even be subtle about how much contempt I would hold him in. I am going through hell here and looking after a toddler all day too. He can have a wank if he's feeling frustrated- I don't even have that to turn to. I have never felt less sexy in my life.