Hi Jenjingles
I'm afraid I'm going to have to keep this fairly brief at the moment because I've got masses of housework to do this afternoon, but if you would like to chat in more detail you can email me nappymad @ yahoo . com.
The way I approached it was to do loads of research into the risks and benefits of vba2c - this is a good place to start Although it's part of the homebirth website there's lots of information which should be helpful whether or not you're planning a homebirth. Once I'd done the research I decided that I did want to plan a vaginal birth and decline a cesarean section. The key thing for me was getting out of the mindset of trying to 'persuade' the doctors. Firstly, it is not my job to persuade them what I want to do. It is my body, my choice and their job to offer me information and let me reach my own decision. Nobody can force you to have a cesarean or do anything else for that matter. Secondly, I realised I was never going to get them to agree with my choice so I gave up trying. I know some people go in with lists of research and prepare lots of arguments, but in my experience it is a waste of time and just adds stress and hassle at a time when you need to feel calm and relaxed. I listened to what they had to say, asked for research references where necessary and then stated what I wanted to do with that information. Being used to getting approval from authority figures this was hard! To cut a long story short I felt that I was not going to get the support I needed in hospital and that I would inevitably end up with a third cesarean which was a risk I wasn't prepared to take. So I booked a homebirth. This isn't the right choice for everyone, but for me and my family it was. I was lucky to have fairly supportive midwives and an amazing doula and had an absolutely wonderful birth with only a pool for pain relief. Total contrast to my first labour where I had gas and air, pethidine, epidural etc etc.
I would second the recommendation for Ina May Gaskin books, and anything by Michel Odent, Sheila Kitzinger and Janet Balaskas that you can get your hands on - all very good for relaxing you and giving you confidence in your body. I would also suggest stuff by Henci Goer for getting to grips with some of the research into birth and interventions.
Hope this helps, from what you've said I think you stand a really good chance of a vaginal delivery this time round, but I think you do need to be well informed, determined and feel comfortable with making decisions for yourself.