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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Telling my parents im pregnant

31 replies

Natty105 · 17/03/2016 07:54

Hi, I'm 6 weeks pregnant with my first child and I'm just wondering when I should tell my parents. I went to tell them the other day but then left it as I thought it may have been a little early?!

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00100001 · 17/03/2016 07:56

Lots of people tell their parents early, just in case anything happens, they can support you through it :)

Junosmum · 17/03/2016 08:00

Depends. We didn't tell our parents until after the scan as I wouldn't have wanted them to know if miscarried. If you'd tell them if you lost the baby then tell them now.

Original poster
Natty105 · 17/03/2016 08:24

Thanks both. I think it's partly because I don't want to jinx anything but at the same time I reckon my parents would be upset if I didn't tell them no matter what the outcome.

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possum18 · 17/03/2016 08:31

I told my mum straight away at about 5 weeks, I couldn't keep it from her! Told my dad a few weeks later when I ended up in hospital with suspected ectopic pg, which turned out to be fine and to be twins! Currently 34 weeks with my little boys and my parents have loved being part of my journey from so early on.

Congratulations Thanks

AddictedtoGreys · 17/03/2016 08:40

I told my family and DH family straight away with both ours but it is a personal choice

PennyHasNoSurname · 17/03/2016 08:42

Whether you tell them or not will have no influence over the outcome of the pregnancy, OP, in the kindest possible way jinxes are nonsense.

skankingpiglet · 17/03/2016 08:42

With my first I told Mum about 2 weeks after I found out. DH wanted to wait until the scan, I wanted to tell her straight away. I went along with DH but felt I was being a bit dishonest talking to Mum everyday and not mentioning the sickness etc. so I decided to just tell her. She was over the moon about it but a bit hurt I hadn't told her immediately I think. When I explained we were worried something would go wrong and didn't want to get her hopes up, she (rightly) said she'd want to know regardless so she could support us. Unfortunately she passed away last year, otherwise this time I would have told her as soon as that line popped up.

Sixweekstowait · 17/03/2016 08:47

My daughter told me as soon as she knew and then waited until after the scan for everyone else - she knew she could trust me to not tell anyone else ( an important consideration). If you have a good relationship with your mum, she'd be part of your support network if anything did go wrong.

nehagarg · 17/03/2016 08:47

Told my parents 2 days after we found out. Purely because it took us 2 days to get over the shock. Dad was not happy. He wanted to be told straight away. Smile

If you would tell your parents if something went wrong then I'd tell them straight away.

Original poster
Natty105 · 17/03/2016 09:06

Thanks everyone I think I'm going tell my parents Easter weekend.
So sorry to hear about your mum skangingpiglet

OP posts:
NickMarlow · 17/03/2016 09:13

We told our parents and siblings the day after we found out, had planned to wait but were to excited to keep it quiet! And then told our closest friends at about 10 weeks. We would have wanted their support if anything had gone wrong.

Everyone else was after the scan.

mrsmugoo · 17/03/2016 09:18

We told ours after we'd had an early reassurance scan at 7 weeks. Would have just kept it to ourself if we'd had an early mc. No point in upsetting everyone.

frikadela01 · 17/03/2016 09:31

It's such a personal decision. I told my parents and sister within 1 hour of my BFP and DP told his parents and sisters the same evening. I got super stressed during the 1st trimester so I'm glad I told them because they offered lots of reassurance and had anything happened I would have wanted them to know.

Original poster
Natty105 · 17/03/2016 09:38

Yeah like it doesn't seem real, cause I have no physical evidence if you know what I mean. It's strange

OP posts:
notinagreatplace · 17/03/2016 10:47

My dad straight away, my PIL after our 7 week scan, my mother as late as humanly possible (she's very annoying and also likely to tell the entire extended family)

BeardMinge · 17/03/2016 11:05

Congratulations!

First time around we told my parents at about 9 weeks, had intended to wait until first scan, but went to theirs for lunch and couldn't keep it in. Unfortunately, we found out a few days later that there was no heartbeat and I'd had a MMC.

I kind of wish I hadn't told them, they are in their eighties and were so overjoyed and excited about being grandparents, and then three days later I had to give them upsetting news. If I hadn't told them, I probably would've told them about the mmc after the event, but raising their hopes and then dashing them felt a bit harsh.

My partner and a few close friends shored me up at the time, but not my parents because we don't live particularly close to them, and because I'm in my forties, so the idea of my mum and dad supporting me feels a bit weird. Also, although the whole thing was very upsetting, there wasn't really much anyone could do anyway, and I didn't want or need to talk about it. I appreciate everyone is different though.

Nine months later I conceived again, and I can't remember when we told them, I think we waited until I'd had an early scan at 7 weeks and seen a hb. Everything went smoothly that time thank goodness.

Just tell them if you want to, it's not going to jinx anything. But bear in mind that the more people you tell means the more people you have to un-tell if things don't go well - and that's a rubbish thing to have to do.

tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit · 17/03/2016 11:11

I thought the waiting 3 months thing was so you don't have to deal with people asking you how your pregnancy is / dealing with their stupid comments if something awful does happen.

But assuming you'd want their support if there were any difficulties, and you can trust them to keep it to themselves then go ahead tell your parents I reckon.

Although having said that we told everyone at 6 weeks! it was an unexpected pregnancy, I didn't know how to keep the shock to myself!

caravanista · 17/03/2016 11:16

I don't think it's fair of parents to be hurt! When my DD was ttc she clearly said that she wouldn't be telling anyone until after the 12 week scan. We're very close but I absolutely respected her choices.

bananamonkey · 17/03/2016 11:51

I'm telling my parents this weekend as I had my 12 week scan this week. I live far away and haven't actually seen them since Christmas and wanted to tell them F2F.

We haven't told anyone apart from 2 close friends till after the scan, I wasn't worried about jinxing it, I just wasn't sure how I'd deal with it if something went wrong and who I would talk to about it so would rather have made that decision when and if I had to if you see what I mean. It's a personal decision though, a friend had 2 early mcs last year but told everyone at 5 weeks both times.

It's been hard but I think if I lived closer to my parents and saw them all the time then I would't have been able to keep quiet!

TriJo · 17/03/2016 11:56

We wanted to wait and tell my parents face to face - told them at 16 weeks as a result because they were visiting us at that stage. My DH had told his parents when he was on a visit back to Ireland 2 weeks before that. We only found out at 7 weeks so didn't even know ourselves super early! We don't regret anything about how we did it, but if something had happened we would have been fairly comfortable discussing it with immediate family.

Elledouble · 17/03/2016 12:02

We told my parents the first time we saw them face to face after we found out. It was about a week later and I would have been about six weeks pregnant. My mum did say it was very early to be telling people but we'd have wanted to tell them if anything had gone wrong anyway so it was the right thing to do. They were delighted - they'd just come back from their holiday where they'd been talking to friends about being ready for grandchildren!

I was very anxious through my pregnancy and after my son was born too and they've been a great support.

Strokethefurrywall · 17/03/2016 12:36

As soon as we knew, I phoned my sister and best friend first, then skyped my mum and dad to let them know. DH told his folks too, and brother.
Told some close friends here and then waited until after scan at 6weeks then told our wider group of friends. We're all expats so would have wanted the support.
Bosses knew after I barfed on one of their shoes at 6 weeks.

Same with DS2.
It's a personal choice though.

LittleLionMansMummy · 17/03/2016 16:14

We told my parents and close family/ friends really early with first pregnancy. I don't plan telling anyone until I start to show this time (which I would think may be 9-10 weeks), purely because I want to savour it all to ourselves and 'come to terms' (in a good way, just a lot to think about first) first without the endless but we'll meaning questions and conversations.

LittleLionMansMummy · 17/03/2016 16:15

8 to 10 weeks I mean.

anastasiakrupnik · 17/03/2016 17:44

I told more people i'd had a mc than i told I was pregnant - and i'd like to tell more as i hate that it's a taboo subject. But I didn't know who i'd want to talk to about the mc in advance, so probably got the balance right (abd will do the same this time) - rather than having to tell people because they knew i was pregnant, even if i ended up telling them anyway, iyswim.