So the midwife thinks it will be a miracle if I don't get PND...

[bumperlicious]

Saw MW for 16 wk appointment. Heard sprog's heartbeat which was great. Think I've started to feel it move too.
Anyway, I had a very short period of being on antidepressants as a teenager (I had just broken up with my 1st boyfriend - it was mostly just teen angst!) plus my mum suffered with it with all 3 kids, as well as periods in general. I also mentioned that I had been feeling really down and didn't know if it was just pregnancy weirdness or antenatal depression. She said to see how I feel at 20 wk, and i told her that mostly I was worried about getting PND, she said I haven't really been given a fighting chance and it will basically be a miracle if I don't get it, but not to worry they will be right there ready for it! I know it can be treated, but I don't want PND to spoil the early days with my baby

Message withdrawn

That's charming isn't it?!!
ihadsever PND following ds1's birth and my mum had it with all three of us, but i didnt get it following ds2s birth in september and still dont have it now, even with 17m ds1 to chase after aswell.
dont worry about it otherwise you will get stressed which is not good for your babe.

'i had severe' even. sorry, bad typos tonight! lol

i had terrible PND first time...all i can tell you is..if your MW, HV and doc is looking out for it..you can get treated quickly and effectively.

the first 6 weeks are so hard..that it will be hard to tell if you are depressed or 'just' suffering lack of sleep, feeding all the time, the upheaval etc..

there is a link on here somewhere to an anteanatal depression website that Rhubarb has set up..will find it for you

if you do become depressed...it is treatable..

i did not have it after my second child, despite being told it was virtually inevitable....

Rhubarb's antenatal depression site

if you feel you are depressed now, get some help......

it is more common than most people think

1 in 4 people will have some sort of depressive episode or 'mental health' issue at some point in their lives..x

Nothin like making you feel positive there (your m/w)

Re: AND - I remember reading during my pregnancy (terrible AND with both) that there is no link between AND and PND.

I have suffered depression on and off since mid teens, plus AND twice, and neither time got PND. It isn't inevitable.

Well with advice like that she's ahrdly giving you the tools to avoid PND is she?

Your history sounds really similar to mine, I have never had PND despite quite traumatic delivieries / pregnancies.

I would suggest to your MW that if she is quite so accurate at predicting PND she is in the wrong career and should be teaching her wonderful brand new science . However, in the interests of maintaining a relationship with her just keep the thought in the back of your head .

However, you are at an increased risk of developing it especiallya syou feel low now so reading up on it, chatting to the people who will be there to support you is a brilliant way of developing the toolkit needed to effectively deal / cope with it (PND). Read all you can, and be very careful to look after yourself as lovingly as you can. It could well be hormonal at 16 weeks, I always felt really ill then, but you need to be really honest and aware of how you feel.

But please don't let anyone convince you its a dead cert, its not, just be aware and keep an eye on yourself. Treatment and support IS so much better now than it was if t does happen, but assuming it will create a definite, iyswim.

Good luck X

Thanks guys. Do you think you can avoid it by doing stuff? I'm mean, if you are going to get it will you get it. I shold know the answer to this as I have Master's in Psychology, but my mind has lost all reason!
I'm sure sure what just trying to be helpful by being so blase about it, trying to make it not a big deal.
Re: the AND I actually found an old thread on the antenatal clubs board and bumped it up, so there are people on there now who I ca share with.
Thanks for your support. I'm just being over anxious anad over analytical (that's what psychology does to you!).

bumperlicious,
No offense, but you're MW doesn't know how you are going to feel, and take what she says with a grain of salt.
I've always delt with depression, and when I was pregnant with ds my life was torn apart by multiple issues (death of parent, terrible job, rough patch in marriage). I tried to kill myself at least 9 times while pregnant and thought about it almost everyday.
As soon as ds was born it all went away. All the sadness I felt just faded, and it was like I was a new person.
I have to add that I have an extrememly happy boy, and my theory is that sometimes we get sad when we're pregnant, because our babies take all our happiness for themselves.

Bumperlicious

there are things you can do , to keep yourself positive, but if you sare genuinely depressed, then medical help is needed..as you know!

my own experiences with PND , the first time, were severe, with 4 years of illness, various ADs, therapy , etc culminating in a hospital stay of 3 weeks.. a lot of it was to do with DS;'s birth..so when i was well, and pregnant with DD, i spent the entire pregnancy focusing on getting a positive delivery and birth this time...and i had moments of complete anxiety and upset......but it was time well spent.. i achieved a vaginal delivery, no intervention, which was what i had aimed for...baby blues day 4, then nothing..she is 17 months now and not a hint of PND at all....and this was after being told it would be virtually inevitable...

get your safety nets in place, so that should you need them, they are there....focus on positive thinking, don;t listen to the negative..i used to ask people who were being negative around me, about the birth especially, to please be more positive...i did visualisation every day and lots of research about birth..which took my mind off things....

there is a lot of support here too...so use it !

if you do feel low now, lower than you think you should and you are concerned, don;t wait for the 20 week appointment...see your doctor now

HTH!

Well I only did a year of Psychology degree (combined in my first year) and I well know, as do you, that depression can be caused by chemical factors which may or may not be genetic, or by experiential factors. So there ARE no definite answrs, and therefore no way to predict.

Can you prevent it by doing stuff? You can help yourself sure by taking care of yourself- plenty of sleep, good food, rfun etc. The better your health the more resilient you'll be to both stress and the demands of a new baby. But hey, you now that too, don't you? LOL

Hi Bumperlicious,

I had PND with my DS's. The first time I didn't really know I had it, and I don't think it was that severe as some poor mums get it. I got over it without any help. I do wish I'd spoken to someone about it.

With my 2nd DS it came back and it got quite out of control, to the point where I didn't want to go out. I lost all interest in both my boys. Thankfully, I admitted it, and got help in terms of councilling, which is the best thing I ever did.

I've just had ds3, and I'm determined that it's not going to get the better of me this time. I feel I know the signs and symptoms of it coming on. If I start to even get the feelings I had before, I'll be back to the doctor and councillor to talk.

I do have occasional times where things seem grey, but I can move myself on now. Depression is so different for everyone, I know I had it when I was a teenager, but I wasn't taken seriously and my parents laughed it off as teenage agnst. I wish they hadn't.

Anyway, I think as you are so aware, and you have your mum on hand who's also experienced it, I don't think you'll fall so hard if you do get PND.

Please don't waste time worrying, enjoy your pregnancy and look forward to your new baby. When the time comes, ask for help if you feel you need it.

HTH. x

'we get sad when we're pregnant, because our babies take all our happiness for themselves'

MKG, I love that, that's how I'm going to try and think from now on.
Thanks for all your positive messages. I'm going to try and be more positive myself from now on. I have a tendency to wallow in things (just for while, then I pick myself up) and things could be a lot worse. I think just knowing that there are people out there who care, even when they don't know you, makes a huge difference. I have had my bit of attention, time to be a bit more stoical and get on with things. But don't worry, if things still don't get better I will get checked out

Cant believe midwife said that already...! self help would include what others have suggested - self care mainly, making sure you eat well, get your sleep when you can, make sure you've friends and family around and if not, then join clubs etc to increase number of people around you. Awareness of PND is important as is knowing what your triggers were to last depression and seeing if you can reduce likelihood of those triggers by setting up, as someone else has said, "safety nets" or coping strategies. I'm 38 weeks pregnant and had health visitor round today and despite my history she was confident that I've done all I can to prepare. Alot of the down feelings I had around your stage were due to the power of hormones - I've felt totally and utterly wonderful in third trimester. Yes theres an increased risk to PND if you've a history of depression but minimise that risk as much as you can before you give birth! Most importantly, try to enjoy your pregnancy rather than worrying about PND in the future

ive had AND in all my pregnancies(on no.5 now)although it wasnt really recognised till i was expecting no.4.i only had PND after having ds1 ,although i got preg with dd1 when he was 2 months old so its hard to say if it was really PND or AND again.all i know is that after having my last 2 babies i felt fine apart from the normal ups and downs related to sleep deprivation/relationship probs etc.it was totally different during the pregnancies,when i felt that 'i dont want to be here,the world would be a better place without me' kind of low.