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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How to manipulate/persuade/badger(?) DP into accepting the baby name I want...?

20 replies

Cavy · 24/05/2004 20:42

HI -- I am getting more and more set on a particular boy's name that DP doesn't like. He likes the nickname which is what we would usually use, he just doesn't like the traditional long (non-nickname version), but we would want the traditional long version on the birth certificate to go with the middle name (which I'm even MORE stubborn about). I don't want to say what name, but it's nice, very ordinary and very uncommon right now. We both want a name that is uncommon, and all our other mutually tolerable choices are in the top ten list in UK or USA right now. The more I think about it, the more stubborn I feel. Other than bloody-mindedness, do you think there is any good strategy to persuade him over?

OP posts:

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gloworm · 24/05/2004 20:48

we couldn't agree either. we has a few names we both kinda agreed on. eventually I choose first name and DH choose middle name! (anyway she was getting his surname!)

Lisa78 · 24/05/2004 20:52

throw a pregnancy hormonal strop, coupled with heavy duty sobs and accusations that he doesn't fancy you anymore cos you are pregnant
I got my own way about everything for months!! And now, DH is just used to doing as he is told

Original poster

Cavy · 24/05/2004 20:52

I know I "should" compromise, but I don't want to! I'm just hoping that maybe I'll decide the first name I like doesn't suit the baby after all after he's born... maybe. I guess the argument about child getting DP's surname is a good one, at least.

OP posts:

bunny2 · 24/05/2004 20:58

I always tell dh I do all the hard work in pregnancy, all the pain, sickness, loss of figure, incontinence etc, the least he can do is let me have the final choice of name. It hasnt worked so far but I have 6 more months to grind him down.

Nutcracker · 24/05/2004 21:05

I had this prob when pregnant with Dd1. I kept saying i liked Lauren but dp was having none of it. After a while i let him think i'd forgotten about it, and agreed to call the baby Nikita.
I was having an elective section though so whilst i was in theatre and waiting for do to get changed i told all the staff the i liked the name Lauren and they all agreed it was lovely.
When Dp came in the staff kept dropping hints about the name and when dd was born they all said Oooh she looks like a lauren and Dp gave in.

I always knew i'd get my own way

twiglett · 24/05/2004 21:24

message withdrawn

mummysurfer · 24/05/2004 21:28

a friend had this - she waited until seconds after he was born and said 'please can we call him ---?' he agreed. she reckons he would have agreed to 'Father Christmas' he was so amazed at her abilty to give birth.

princesspeahead · 24/05/2004 21:28

Don't badger him. But after he has watched you go through 6/10/36 hours of painful labour, and produced a wonderful beautiful baby, turn to him and say "we are going to call him [xxxxx], aren't we darling?"

No man in the world would, at that point, say no!

stringbean · 25/05/2004 21:53

Is the baby going to get his father's surname? If so, then I think you could use this as a reason for insisting on your choice. If your dp likes the nickname (which it will probably be shortened to) I can't see how he can argue with this. This was my argument for choosing ds' name. Although I have two brothers, neither has children, so there's no guarantee my family name will live on, whereas dh's will (I still use my maiden name, but was happy for ds to have dh's surname). I also chose middle names that were associated with my family for this reason.

Tommy · 25/05/2004 23:07

I really wanted a name when I was pg with DS2 but DH said it reminded him of a boy at school who he didn't like. So, our short list didn't have this name on it and when DS2 was born we didn't know what to call him and didn't name him for an hour or 2. When we were finally alone, DH said, "I think he should be NAME THAT I HAD WANTED ALL ALONG !!" Big shock to me but very pleased. Maybe your DP will be so loved up and proud of you that he'll give in and let you have your name!! Good luck! (BTW we always said that our DS2 would be the whole name - not shortened or nickname - but he is always called a nickname now - I can't remember the last time I called him by his full name - even the priest at his baptism called him by his shortened name!!)

tomkitty · 26/05/2004 08:44

My father actually registered me under a different middle name than they had agreed. Then proceeded to call me by that name all the time. Finally she gave up and called me by that name too. My mother forgave my father, but I wouldnt recommend this method of getting what you want.

motherinferior · 26/05/2004 08:46

I agree with PPH!

Lolabelle · 26/05/2004 14:05

Cavy I reckon you are entitled to have the final say and if he likes the nickname its not like you are choosing something that he hates TOTALLY - we have chosen a name that is actually a nickname as the one we are putting on the birth certificate ie Maddie as opposed to Madeleine, Freddie as opposed to Frederick - is this an option as a compromise??

aloha · 26/05/2004 14:41

I don't understand why he is arguing. He likes the name your child will be known by so why does he object to what will be on the birth certficate. I'd say that you suspect your child will grow up to become a Nobel prize-winning scientist or High Court Judge and will need a 'serious' name as well as his normal name.

CountessDracula · 26/05/2004 14:48

Cavy what are the names? Maybe we could think of some good reasons if you told us (oh alright I just want to know!)

katzguk · 26/05/2004 14:49

what name is causing all the problem?

Twinkie · 26/05/2004 15:07

You just kick up a huge stink after you have him - right after I mean when the feelings are still inthe air that you have been trhough so much - most men would let you call them what you want after going trhough labour.

Or as my friend did get everyone to say just how much they like your version of the name and just call the baby that and ignore what DH has to say.

We are going to call DS Max but DP wants to put Maximus or Maximiliion on his Birth Certificate - to be honest I don;t care as long as he never gets called it in real life - will be able to piss ourselves when he gets married or when its inhis passport though!!

006 · 26/05/2004 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Cavy · 26/05/2004 16:10

I can't say which name I really want... It could make me lose my anonymity on MN. There are people who know me who don't know I post here, IYSWIM!

Thanks for all the ideas...I don't know how strongly DH dislikes my favourite name, but I'd like to coax him rather than force it on him.

A strange thing happened... DH's first choice for first name plus our surname is the same name of someone who died tragically (in the national news) this week! Since the person was doing something honourable at the time I don't think it's a bad omen, but it seems a little like a creepy coincidence, too. Do you think it's a bad omen?

OP posts:

moniker · 26/05/2004 17:36

Twinkie - Maxwell is another good 'Max' name - I really love it!

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