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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Childcare during labour - what happens if you don't have any?!

47 replies

Luckystar1 · 09/03/2016 12:29

Thinking slightly ahead! Baby due in July. Neither of our families live nearby and are not within distances to even come at the start of labour.

DS will be around 20 months and has spent very little time apart from me, but is very sociable and tends to be fine with other people.

But what do we do about childcare when I go into labour?! Our friends all have young children and/or full time jobs, so we can't just Spring DS on them in (what will probably be!) the dead of night!

Is our only option a home birth?! Or me labouring alone?

What have others done??

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OwlinaTree · 09/03/2016 20:46

Sorry, x post!

SummerSazz · 09/03/2016 20:47

We used our childminder who Dd1 was already familiar with. She would have had dd overnight too if needed (which we didn't). Are you going to be using childcare going forward? If so might be an opportunity to start with a few hours now.

almostthirty · 09/03/2016 20:48

We were emergency childcare for our neighbours. Had a knock on the door at 11pm saying labour was progressing faster than expected and grandparents were still at least 2 hours away and would we mind looking after dc who were in bed until they got there. I would try friends in your situation.

Jenijena · 09/03/2016 20:50

I've had not very close friends volunteer to look after DS (DC2 due in three weeks). ILs will be with us within 7 hours, I think. Nursery will take him in an emergency as long as it's not a day they're fully booked. In just hoping it will work out ok...

Original poster

Luckystar1 · 09/03/2016 20:53

He's going to be going to nursery 2 mornings a week but I'm a SAHM so it's not a long term necessity (ie. I'm not going to work so he doesn't absolutely need to go). Perhaps if he gets on really well with one of the nursery nurses I could see how that goes.

My closest friend who I would give him to (nct friend) will have quite a new baby too, so I couldn't expect her to look after him too.

He's only 16 months at present so doesn't have 'friends' per se yet. All of my other friends have quite young children and are already knackered and I dread waking them up to drop him off (I'm assuming this will all be in the middle of the night!)

I'm clearly just a pain in the arse!

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Original poster

Luckystar1 · 09/03/2016 20:54

Good luck Jeni!

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DangerMouth · 09/03/2016 20:54

Dd1 (4) was able to stay in the room until dh decided to move her and then we were lucky enough my room was right next to the mw station and he went between us. I had a very quick labour and delivery and tbh it all worked very well.

I had however prepared myself for doing it alone so the fact l didn't have to was great.

OwlinaTree · 09/03/2016 20:56

If your nct friend asked you to help if she was in your position, would you do it?

CutYourHairAndGetAJob · 09/03/2016 21:02

I've done this for a friend. It was before I had kids so I stayed over at their house. I loved it tbh, it was very exciting and I got a tiny baby cuddle when they got home . I think most people would feel the same so don't feel shy about asking.

With my second DC I planned a home birth but had a lot of backup plans, including the lady next door in case of an emergency hospital transfer. In the end dd slept through the whole labour. My parents came over the next day and took dd out for the day so we could get some rest.

Glamorousglitter · 09/03/2016 21:03

We had this. Friends stepped in. They were just amazing. I m forever grateful. Having been in the situation I would gladly do it for a pap who asked me.best of luck with your delivery

Ragusa · 09/03/2016 21:11

Any half-decent friend or even acquaintance would help you out. Failing all other avenues, are there any people who your DH works with who might step in?

birdbrain21 · 09/03/2016 21:11

I was really worried about this mu dd is 2.5 years old and just had my second 6 weeks ago. For various reasons I could only plan possible childcare for at night depending on what date I went into labour and I was worried about someone else taking her to nursery in the morning or her waking up to someone unfamiliar so I booked a doula who could stay with me if dH had to be with dd1. As it happened everything worked out fine the backup childcare was free the night I went into labour I put dd to bed called the childcare went to the hospital dd2 was born at 5 in the morning dH went home about 6 to sort dd1 out and the doula stayed with me till I was settled on the postnatal ward. It was a stress during pregnancy and I'm really happy dH was there to support me and didn't miss the birth but we were both aware it was a possibility he might have and we discussed that beforehand

Original poster

Luckystar1 · 09/03/2016 21:14

Oh yes I'd do it for anyone, no problem! I suppose you are all right, I just have to bite the bullet and start making plans.

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Skrewt · 09/03/2016 21:15

This happened to me - my DD was 5 though so a bit bigger. DC2 arrived several weeks early so we were still wondering what to do. The nursing staff were amazing and accommodated my child very gracefully. She was allowed stay with me the whole time except when they were doing an examination. It meant DH missed the actual birth but that was fine by me. I don't know what I would have done otherwise but I felt a bit silly in the hospital turning up with a child.

LucilleLeSueur · 10/03/2016 09:33

DD1 was 3.5 years and we also lived a flight away from parents.
Had lots of offers from lovely friends but I didn't want to feel beholden to anyone so the lovely nursery worker who was DD's key person came over. Luckily it was a Saturday but she assured us she would have taken an hour off, run up to grab DD, and brought her to work with her! She had that flexibility due to the nature of her role.

She had DD all Saturday until about 9pm and refused payment.
We gave her £150 in the end in a card.

Definitely look into nursery workers - they often do babysitting etc in their spare time.

Original poster

Luckystar1 · 10/03/2016 11:49

Thank you Lucille. I think you've hit the nail on the head about being beholden to people if I'm honest. I'd prefer to pay and be done with it!!

I'll see how he settles into nursery and perhaps go from there!

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HandbagHelper · 10/03/2016 12:01

We had planned for my Mum to fly over as had no one really to ask. Plans fell apart when I went into labor 5 weeks early. I was able to ask someone to help out for the weekend and hold the fort while my Dad jumped on a plane -I was forever grateful.

Original poster

Luckystar1 · 10/03/2016 12:27

I should add we will not be asking either set of parents to come and help once the baby is here. They are welcome to visit for a short time but we won't be arranging for them to come to rescue any childcare scenario (my parents in particular have been dreadful since DS was born)

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NewLife4Me · 10/03/2016 12:29

Our neighbour kindly agreed to have ds1 and yes, it was the middle of the night.
When she had to go to work ds1 went to a sahm friend until dh returned.
Ask around friends and neighbours.

TheNumberfaker · 10/03/2016 13:02

I wouldn't worry about being beholden . Just ask friends/neighbours/colleagues and you'll probably get a few offers. I've taken a friend's children in overnight so she could dash to hospital with her DH. Never occurred to me that she would owe me a favour!

dippywhentired · 10/03/2016 13:22

I was in this position twice as we have no family nearby. With DD2 I had a sweep in the morning which kicked off labour, so we had plenty of time to get DD1 to my friend's. With DS I'd been having twinges all morning, so knew it was all imminent, so DDs again went to a friend's. So it might not all kick off in the middle of the night, and you may well have some twinges a few hours before labour gets going, so you can get a friend lined up before it gets late

magratsflyawayhair · 10/03/2016 13:39

Well my daughter was in the labour room wth me at the birth of her brother. It was fast, in the MLU and there wasn't time for anything else to happen. The MW was ridiculously accommodating and lovely about it and mum arrived about 30 mins after he was born and took his big sister home while DH and I stayed over.

So in your shoes, if the hospital aren't likely to be accommodating as mine and /or facilities are different, I'd look at a home birth. Could you get a doula on board if the idea of being alone should your older child need their father worries you?

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