12 weeks - Feeling apprehensive about relationship

[JVS79]

Hi everyone,
I am 12 weeks pregnant and found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks. It was completely unplanned and although I am in a relationship, I have only been with my partner 7 months. After going through a million and one emotions, pondering all the possiblities and feeling more stressed than I think I have ever felt, I am now very pleased that all being well I am going to be a mother.
My main worries at the moment are not about how I will cope as a mother, but whether the relationship with my partner will last. Thankfully he is a lovely guy and happy to support me, but I think he is slightly overwhelmed at becoming a father (to be expected I know) and if I am totally honest I am not sure that he is 100% sure about our relationship. We plan to go to Relate though for some counselling so hopefully that will help.
I have also had some strange reactions from very close friends that I hadn't really expected. The majority have been great and very supportive, but a couple of my oldest friends haven't been and even said I won't be as fun any more. So I have been finding this difficult too!
Is there anyone else out there been in similar situations? I guess I always expected every aspect of becoming pregnant to be happy and joyful, but am finding the worries are bringing me down a bit at the moment. Maybe I just need to realize that life is life and not a fairy tale!
Thanks for enduring my rant!
JVS
PS - on a more positive note I have my first hospital appointment tomorrow, so that's quite exciting!

Hi JVS - I guess you are new to mumsnet so welcome . I'm almost twelve weeks pg with my fourth so I guess you are due in July (?) - do join our postnatal thread for some support through your pregnancy \link{http://mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2290&threadid=253001\here).

WRT your relationship situation I'm sorry I don't have any advice, but I'm sure someone will be along soon with some wise words

Bum, link didn't work - try again: here

hi jvs79, congratulations! i cant really say much about your relationship because i havent been in the same situation. im sure someone will come along to enlight you.

but about the friends part... remember that people do project. and even great friends might be jealous, insecure and with other kinds of devils coming out with the prospect of someone close to them giving such a big step in life. my advice is to try to put yourself in their situation and mostly likely you will find out that they are talking about themselves and not necessarily you. for example, some of them might think they wont be fun anymore when they get pregnant. basically close your ears for bad comments, no one needs them but be understanding at the same time so you dont cut yourself off from your friends.

It won't be the end of the world if your relationship doesn't work out, particularly if you can stay in good terms so that your partner can still be supportive to you and be involved in your baby's life. Pregnancy is bound to put a strain on such a new relationship so maybe it will help both of you if you talk about what will happen if things don't work out between you.

As for your friends, I sympathise. My best friend wailed "who am I going to go out drinking with now?". I'm sure they don't realise the effect their reactions have on you, and I hope you find that as your pregnancy progresses, they get used to the idea of you being a mum and want to be involved more. If you're very close to them, why don't you discuss your worries with them - tell them this is a scary time for you and that you could really do with a bit more positive support from now on.

Thanks everyone for your support and words of wisdom. It helps a lot!

My partner and I nearly broke up on the way home from the hospital after having our (IVF) pregnancy test, and nearly broke up again when I was seven weeks. Two weeks later we are looking at counselling but I have never felt less sure about our relationship than I have since I have been pregnant. My GP tried to reassure me that all the early pregnancy hormone shifts make things look blacker than they might otherwise. It is a terrible burden and seems to be a taboo subject with family - who seem unsure as to whether they should be happy about the (much longed for) pregnancy if it might mean I am on my own. I feel your pain but can only suggest you go through with the counselling and talk frankly about whether to stay together for the baby's sake even if you are not each other's perfect partner.