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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Why is finding a baby name sooo hard?!!

51 replies

Lwatkins · 01/01/2007 20:58

I'm 19+1 so have lots of time to decide on names i know, it's just that it is too hard! I have heaps of naming books, have trawled my way through every baby name website that exists, listened to other peoples suggestions and still think there all pretty vile! I don't want a well known, common name that when it's said in a classroom - 5 kids all turn round at the same time. But at the same time i don't want something so obscure it makes people go - you what?? And a lot of old fashioned names are now coming back 'in', and i don't like these either! Also don't like any family names or biblical names as im not religious in any way. So when all this is taken into account, i cant ever find a bloody name i like!
How the hell do people name their kids nowadays? I'm killing myself trying to find any i like, let alone one i want to call my baby. I mean, it's a serious decision isn't it? The child has to live with it for the rest of his/her life, it's making my head spin. Has anyone else had this much difficulty naming their children, or coming up with names? And does anyone know where a good place to find names is?

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Original poster

Lwatkins · 02/01/2007 16:14

Well i don't have a dh/dp so it makes it slightly easier choosing the name knowing its just me makeing the decision. It's great not having to fight with someone over a name i like but he doesn't if that makes sense!
I know i have lots of time to decide, its just am doing my degree at the mo and am busy with uni stuff etc so just trying to be prepared for lots of different things, as much as i can be anyway cause have other distractions at the mo!
Thanks for the lists, actually printed it of yesterday when i found them online. Some of the names are nice, but there still the 100 most popular, and i don't want something thats gonna be used a lot by others! OOOOOO, im just difficult aren't i!!!!!

OP posts:

Daisymoo · 02/01/2007 16:26

I've waited to definitely choose a name until after the birth with all four of mine. I had a few names picked out with the first and the fourth, but I needed to wait and see what they looked like first. This might sound a bit loopy but I sort of think that it's more a case of workling out what a baby's real name is rather than choosing one and imposing it on them. This was def the case with the second and third - I had never considered their names at any stage, but when they were born they just seemed right. Annoyingly I don't even like one of them very much (the name I mean, not the child!)

I know a few people who decided on a name really on and started referring to the unborn baby by that name. I find that really weird (sorry if that offends anyone!)

aDad · 02/01/2007 16:30

I hate choosing names too.

My advice would probably be dont run your ideas by mumsnetters.

cece · 02/01/2007 16:39

We changed our minds after the birth of both of ours, and they got called something else...

chocorange · 02/01/2007 16:50

Mrsbadger the top 100 names list come from the National statistics office (www.statistics.gov.uk) but can also be found on Babycentre website under pregnancy (amongst other places)

chocorange · 02/01/2007 16:58

Actually LWatkins the babycentre site has some interesting topics on baby naming, including meanings, unusual names, the "100 year rule" about why names from a century ago are popular but not names from the 1950's or 70's and so on. Might be worth a look.

hunkermunker · 02/01/2007 17:05

DS1's name's not in the top 100.

DS2's is in the top 5.

I love both names and people tell me they go well together.

And no, they're not "Umby" and "Rella" (Rella's a girls name, that's why ).

fortyplus · 02/01/2007 19:25

MrsBadger - the list came from the Dailyn Telegraph website

fortyplus · 02/01/2007 19:28

Lwatkins - you won't have too much trouble with duplicate names if you stay outside the top 10.
My sons both had 'top 5' names when they were born - ds1 had one child in a class of 30 with the same name - ds2 has never had a child in his class with the same name.

clemsterdarcy · 02/01/2007 19:49

We named our dd before birth -- helped us bond plus i found the mw using her .name during labour really motivational.

We told all rellies of name before and i wont do that again -- people can be mean!!!! One aunt exclaimed "You can't name her after a manipulative whore". Another said to mil "Oh they're just joking they won't really call her that".

When they're born it is ok cos the ah lovely factor takes over!

Original poster

Lwatkins · 02/01/2007 20:03

I don't know what it is, there just seems to be sooo much pressure to 'get it right' now, and so many things you have to consider. Whereas years ago it may have been easier cause most of the time people just stuck to family names etc. Especially with family, there is all this pressure, cause the older members are already at my throat about not wanting me to choose a 'silly, made up name!' I suppose i have to stop focusing on trying to please everyone, cause at the end of the day it should just come down to what i think is nice, and what bean will suit when he/she arrives.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lwatkins · 02/01/2007 20:06

And no i wont be sharing name lists and ideas with other mumsnetters, not after some of the bloodbaths i've witnissed on previous threads!!! If and when i get my names sorted, i would hate the idea of a large group of people saying how awful they thought it was. Especially when its taking me soooo freakin long to decided!

OP posts:

worleywinterwonderland · 02/01/2007 20:06

we had decided on a name for ds2 before we even knew i was pregnant. we were watching tv and thought the characters name would be good for when we eventually had another baby, not even knowning i was pregnant, so it was fate i think. good job ds2 was a boy!! we refferred to him as that name all the way through as ds1 liked to talk to him as well and got used to having a brother. (he was 7.5years when we had ds2 so took time adjusting to nolonger being the only child)

we did toy with a few other names but didnt really like them in the end, plus ds1 wouldnt let us change it.

clemsterdarcy · 02/01/2007 20:09

lwatkins ... your baby, your choice

if anyone is insensitive and rude then bugger em

worleywinterwonderland · 02/01/2007 20:11

we did have to use my dads name as ds2's middle name. my dp's dad died around 12 years ago and so when we had ds1 he wanted to give ds1 his dads name, and so my dad was most upset at this and sulked for years. he couldnt understand why we didnt give ds1 both of the grandads names as the middle names!!
so i felt obliged to give ds2 my dads middle name, i would have used it unless he had made such a song and dance about it. (its daniel so its not that its a weird name or anything, i just would have picked something else)
but its done now and its made him happy, although he has now gone on about if i have any more (which im not!!!) i should name it after his dad-my grandad!! its going to be never ending.

fortyplus · 02/01/2007 21:09

Lwatkins - why not just wait until after the baby is born? We didn't name ds1 till he was 2 days old - you don't need to decide beforehand if you don't want to. Can't remember how long you have to register the birth, but I think it's a couple of weeks. Even then, you don't have to specify the name - you can add it afterwards. But I bet you'll have made up your mind before then! Once the baby is born it seems to develop its own little personality very quickly and a name will come to you.
Just remember that this person will one day be an adult who will hold you responsible for whatever 'tag' you've chosen!

loopybear · 02/01/2007 22:15

We did the whole reading the name book and making lists we didn't agree on any!!!! On favourite boys name my husband commented sounds like a gay Jewish Interior Designer!!! I loved Agatha for a name but everyone laughed. One day I was listening to the radio on the way home from work I heard a report about Sophia Loren came home and DD agreed he liked it, then he said he liked Elizabeth, so we agreed if she came out dark like me she'd be called SOphia (due to me looking mediterrian according to DH) if she came out blonde like DH we call her Elizabeth. DD was born with tons of jet blackhair, but it's now fallen out and is growing threw strawberry blonde. We gave up on a boys name as everyone was convinced I was having a girl!!

The name will pop into your head and stick when you least expect it

divamumdiva · 02/01/2007 23:16

hey, i dont belive that wait till baby arrives thingy
i have my own problems. last time we didnt know what we were expecting, i was pretty sure it was boy and we agreed on having jack. i was that sure asked dh find girl`s name. and it happne to be girl and dh named her. lets say allegra* not
and now dh hopes its gonna be boy and still wants jack again. i jst dont feel right this time. its new baby and it got to have new name, am i wro ng? i ust dont feel special, as its been years and now my new baby going to be called byt he name that whole family knows. cause dh told everyone we thought it was boy and little jack, and blah blah.,.. this is nothing to do with dd, we love her to bits and we dont even mnd another little girl. but if its boy, its going to be problem. i havent disgussed it with dh, porbably will alter.
please let me that im right?
sorry for crushing your post lawtikins.
tia

mumyagain37 · 02/01/2007 23:29

We asked our dd1 to look for a name in the baby names book and she looked up horrified and shouted "that's rude" when we asked her what was she said doodely thinking it was the name of gents privates' when we stopped laughing we helped her understand that Dudley is not Rude!!!!

Mercedes · 03/01/2007 00:13

Like you we didn't wanted a name that wasn't biblical or obvously an old name. We came up with 3 that sort of fitted at times - one would be more in favour that the rest during the whole pregnancy. When she was born we still couldn't quite mke up our mind and in the end we choose a name that we had ruled out months earlier.
Interestingly although it is not in the top 100 hundred names and doesn't appear in any up and coming names there is another girl in my dd's class with the same name.
There are girls in the class whose name appears in the top 100 but there are no duplicates. Whatever you choose your baby will meet someone with the same name so go with what you like and what you think suits your baby.

fortyplus · 03/01/2007 09:13

I tried to choose names that were classless.

No Hugo, Portia, Anastasia etc

And definitely no Wayne, Chelsea, Darren etc!!

I wanted names that would sound ok for a Dustman or a Lord.

stevie74 · 03/01/2007 12:50

We had no idea for DD1 or DD2. My partner wanted DD1 to have his initials & to have his deceased uncles name as a middle name (also his middle name) so we had to find something to go with it. In the end we chose my middle name (again a family name) but pronounce it differently!
With DD2 again we had problems but watching the credits of CSI found a name we liked, sounds normal (Georgia) but spelt different (Jorja) and her middle name is just a name I liked.
I like both my daughters names and they both suit. Both names though are one of several we contemplated and left till they were born to see which names suited.

Helgand · 03/01/2007 13:15

Sorry if I'm repeating someone else - haven't read the whole thread. For me the meaning of the name was really important and we also wanted names which came from the country DH grew up in (but only as middle names as too bizarre in this country for first names). DD1s middle name means 'lovely little one' and dd2s middle name means 'much loved'. First names were a lot easier for us than you as we wanted biblical names which automatically rules out loads and there isn't so much to choose from - dd1s means 'joy of the Father' and dd2s means 'promised of God'. Hope you find a name (s!!) soon.

paulaplumpbottom · 03/01/2007 13:55

When I named DD it had to be something that was sweet enough for a little girl, but would still get her elected President or prime minister.

MerryMarigold · 03/01/2007 15:52

we named our baby after the second half of our postcode, about a week before he was born. it's actually a fairly 'common' name. i still wish i had been allowed zebedee or elvis, but in the end i think it's the compromising between you and partner which is the hardest part!

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