Painful bh's.......I don' think I can do this labor thing

[SHHHHitsthe2007countdown]

Right I had bh's with dd and they were uncomfortable and now at 35 + 5 with ds2b the bh's I have ben experiencing for the last 10 ish weeks are now occuring much more often and believe me are soooooooooo painful .

Yesterday I was uncomfortable with backache and regular bh's and at 2am today I woke with the most awful pain in my lower back and left lower side..almost where my bump and pubic bone meet iykwim....where similar in feeling and location to period pains.
This was while experienceing bh's and you can imagine the pain. I suffer from spd and sciatica so maybe it was this so I took a dose of co-codomal as prescribed. I ended up in the bath at 3am where the pain continued and I was adamant baby was going to arrive.

Anyway I got back into bed at around 3.30am and although still in discomfort the period type pain had got slightly better and enough to allow me to sleep.

I'm sure they were just bh's BUT I was and still am so scared about the labour and birth. I am fearful of the pain and how I will cope. DH insists I will be fine as I was with dd BUT I can't help fearing the worse and worrying that I won't get pain relief quick enough and that I won't cope .

I CAN'T DO THIS............

I am still having bh's this morning but not as painful or as regular.BTW while having bh's and your tummy goes hard (top and bottom) what is it that is hard..?? When dh & I looked at my tummy last night it appeared square iykwim and such a bizarre shape...Was it ds2b bum and legs or is it my uterus..?? Confussed..

Sorry about the long post but I think I need reasurrance and encouragement.. xxx

YES YOU CAN DO IT YES YOU CAN DO IT YES YOU CAN DO IT!!

first thing..stop saying you can't....yes you can....you have the fear, the fear that baby is coming and it is going to hurt...that is perfectly natural.....but your body is designed to do this..you have to allow the pain and the contractions to come and your body to guide you.......

there is pain relief , you know!

anyway......when you are in established labour,you will end up in your own place, your own world, where if you let go, the body's endorphins will provide natural pain relief

there is tens , water, gas & air and massage, even before you look at pethidine etc...

the most important thing you can do, is visualise a positive good birth, and you holding baby at the end..elated and delighted!

don;t allow yourself to get in the mindset of 'can't'...you really need to allow this to happen

the more tense you are, the more it will hurt...!

your tummy is going a funny shape as the uterus tightens it tightens around the baby , who is not a perfect round ball..do you get funny shapes...don;t worry !!

if you can get hold of some books my Ina May Gaskin or sheila kitzinger, they will offer excellent reassurance that you can do this and that your body is a wonderful thing, designed to birth a baby!

you have done this before...you know you can do it!

BUT if there is anything from your last birth that is troubling you , or has left you feeling worried or upset in any way....you need to sort that you and put it 'to bed', as it were , before you labour with this baby

so sorry you are feeling scared and having a lot of pain.....

you will be holding baby in your arms in a few short weeks and you will forget all about this bit ! xxxx happy new year x

SHHH - again I'm sympathising and identifying with you a bit. Am just over 32 weeks with no.2 and starting to seriously worry/panic about the birth, and that it will be as (or more) scary as last time. Have got in a state worrying about being induced again and about not being able to be active in labour again (last time because DD pushed my coxcyx out, this time because of the SPD). Having done it all before just isn't helping calm me down at all.

anyhow - good luck and lovely advice from Lulumama which I am going to attempt to take notice of myself. And the anticipation is always worse than the actual thing isn't it...

would just like to say my bh's were really bad with dd2 10 times worse than the ones with dd1 but the labour with dd2 was a 100 times better than dd1 so dont worry u can do it

This thread makes me shiver!

I was really frightened before dd2's birth as I remembered the pain from the first time and was sure I couldn't do it again. But don't panic. You will get through it and you will cope. It's your memory that's really frightening you, not your body's ability to cope!

And I had the same expeerience as softmusk - much worse braxton hicks, a much quicker and more bearable second labour.

Really really sympathise with you but if you have had your tonsils out as an adult - childbirth is preferable - that should give you something to measure it against!!!

ditto luladoula.

Remember these three things (the third being the most important)

It's gonna hurt
It's gonna be hard
You can do it!

That's what I tell all of my mums.

Honey... YOU CAN DO IT! I completely agree with what lulumama said. You need to put any fears and undealt with issues from the previous birth to bed. Then you need to allow yourself to open up to the joy that the new baby will bring. YOU CAN DO IT! It's what we're designed for. Going with the pain rather than fighting it will help you.

Soon you will have your baby. Your body is doing all the preparatory work now.

Remember YOU CAN DO IT!

Thanks everyone esp Mars and luna, I will take your advice on board and do my best to start being positive. Thats exactly what dh has been saying..I think negative all the time. Suppose its easier to do this when you are faced with such a challenge.

Just to add to the comment about putting things to bed with regards to dd's birth......well from what I can remember it didn't cause me any issues. I had a water birth (ish) so only had g&a and it was around 11 hours total. IMO quite text book as water broke, got into hospital, contractions started, into pool, out of pool, baby born. The only pain I remember was after being admitted and before the birth pool.. around 3 hours..tens no use and unable to get a mw to see to me asap..but suppose most women feel like that!!!! I do remember that pain and I think its that bit that worries me..I have spoke to my mw and procedures have changed at our hospital due to that very reason and now if in any dubt of labour you admit yourslef to the del suite and they access from there..not from the ward..Apparently I would only ever be 5-10 mins from pain relief which eases me slightly...

BUT the main worry is that because I only remember and have good memories of dd's birth (feeling drunk like and as though I was in da club!!! , and quite relaxed..so much so the mw never heard a peep out of me...contractions were only known about by the sound of me puffing on the g&A..!!) it worries me that things can't be so good 2nd time around and maybe things weren't so good and I imagined it....

Does this sound mad...???!!!!!

I think I am also worried as I suffered with pnd before and during this pregnancy and I worry it may come back again, It means I need to leave dd with my mother (which I have never done alone through choice and thats another thread!!) and I worry that by having another baby we may have spoilt things for dd, nolonger my little baby iykwim....BUT these points are not major issues now and I know that I am able to deal with them once ds2b arrives and I am a bit stronger....

SHHHHH,

You will be fine. They don't call it labor because it's easy.

Just relax, which is hard to do in your situation, but try your best. You are getting closer to the finish line.

Shhhhhhhh you will be absolutely fine..you can do it!!! To be honest I always find the Bh worse than labour as they lead to nothing and you feel every bit where as in labour at least contractions havce an end in sight and a fab bit to it!!

MGK THATS WHAT i KEEP THINKING...!!!(Didn't mean to shout at you )..I keep thinking yipee i'm on the homeward run..!!

Nemo,thats also a positive comment...baby is at the end. .

BTW Thanks for bumping my thread on the for sale section...I managed to get that dream mover for 40 quid plus 15% ediscount .. xx

aaw, just wanted to give you a squeeze, really. sounds like your body is welcoming your new baby into the world but your mind is still catching up. who knows, maybe you're having the painful BHs so that you're being forced to think these worries about PND and your other little one now rather than after the birth? the body is an amazing thing, after all.
and i think it doesn't sound mad to think that if it was all fine the first time then things will go weird the second time, that's my 'glass half empty' approach as well. thing is, all the fretting in the world isn't going to make a positive difference, it'll just make you tense up...
it does sound like you are rather good at giving birth so there's no reason to think that your body will have forgotten in the meantime. but have a good think about your other worries, and let's see what can be done to alleviate them? i take it that the new baby has already bought its big brother (or sister, not sure) a rather marvelous present?

aaaaahhhh..right then

you couldn;t possibly have two good labours?? course you can !!

and you have no issue re pain relief, no issue re being left alone......so tick those boxes now

as regards a sibling..there are 6 years between mine..it was hard at first, because DS had been the centre of our world for so long, how would he cope with having a sibling, who demanded a lot of our time? how would we cope with a baby after so long? well, it was fine..! the sibling is not something to take away from the current childs life, but something to add to it ! we all worry that having a baby will affect the family dynamic, well , it does, but doesn;t have to be negative!

PND- i had terrible PND after DS, hence the large age gap..as soon as i got pregnant with DD, went to the docs, and begged them not to let me get like that again! they were so reassuring, so comforting, promised they would have my prescription ready for ADs the second i needed it, they would see me at a moments notice etc...

guess what? NO PND AT ALL!! woo hoo!

so get your safety nets in place, and you probably won't need them, but if you do, they are there ready !

you will be ok...

the mind and subconcious are so powerful..so use them positively

i didn't dilate in my first labour past 2-3 and had emergency c.s, so when pregnant with DD, did a visualisation every day of my cervix dilating and opening and baby coming out ! i went from 3 - 10 in 2 hours 45 minutes !

give it a go, for yourself , choosing something personal to you....perhaps the nice , quiet birth you had, puffing on the gas and air, having a ball!

lunamama your reply has made me cry....You really do talk alot of sense you know..!!!

Well about the pnd side of things,I have told my HV to watch me closly as last time it was all to easy for me to lie on the test and to make it all appear rosy. It wasn't until dd was 6 months old that DD finally got through to me and help was sought. Since being pregnant I have had counselling privatly and have been reasurrred that the 1st sign and I will be seen without a delay. It seems that I have already put plans into place with pnd without me reaslising. I am an orgnised person and things have bto be in their place iykwim,,,,i have a plan to cover a plan . Even with regards to the care off dd should dh not make it home as quick as I need...
I also have had issues with pil in 2006 and although counselling helped alot I still worry that they may reappear. BUT luckily I find these fears are not regular and dh is a great help and support.Something I am lucky to have, I am very proud of him and all he has gone through and put up with from me.

And the gift issue for dd..................well all is covered there .!! Bbay has already bought her a gorgeous me to you bear (baby holding a rabbit) and dd has already bought baby a cusky comforter..What did I say about being organised. Maybe its the fact that labour is so spontanious and unplanned that worries me. Its something I can't really control till it happens.

LOL about the bit about me being good at giving birth..! DH's comments entirely.! He tells me this daily.! Tells me I have done it once so I CAN do it again.

I hope I have a positive birth story like you luna and I promise to start thinking positive now and like everyone says having baby2 is a lovely gift for dd. xx

good woman, it does sound like you have everything (weeeell, apart from that tiny wee one thing) under control...
happy new year, by the way. i'm v {envy] that you're going to have a new wee one in your arms very soon.

awwww , i try ! i think i was where you are , when i was pregnant ! i do so like to have a plan, and relinquishing that control to let the body just get on with it , is hard!

you have all the bases covered

take the word can't our of our vocab, and you'll be right !

xxs

I can't wait to read your birth story shhhhhhhhhhhh! It'll be a great one.

So... you know how to face your fears, you know how to combat them!

Good girl!

No reason at all for you not to have a good second birth. You go girl!

Lulu is an amazing support isn't she?!!!!!!

it's just a shame she's drunk in that dreadful bar most of the time, marsy...

and thanks x x x

Bless although I can guarantee that once ds2b is born I will be joining you lulu ..!!!

Have stayed clear of the mn bar during this pregnancy as its not fun being sober and around drunks .

I hope my story is a good one mars, one that lasts moments. Will let you know how i get on.

xx

shh glad you got a good discount..as for missing out on the MN bar I have been over there despite being 38wks..always good to watch others a bit tipsy knowing you are dignified...ish