please tell me I'm not the only one - hormones

[littleraysofsunshine]

In all four pregnancies (32w with 4th) I have bouts of extreme my hormones and emotions. Depression? No idea but it comes in waves and today it was one of those things.

We've had the perfect morning, then within two minutes it all went extremely wrong, kids crying, being silly and my coping skills just failed. I shouted, lost my temper and turned the radio up, tried to take five breathers in another room but it all felt unbeatable and I ended up sat on the floor crying. Toddler on lap still crying, dds upstairs wondering what they've done.

We went to playgroup had a walk, perfect morning for half term.
Then in the garden back home, toddler screaming, girls emptying the toy shed and not playing with one thing, playing with leftover bonfire stuff, and I just flipped.

In this moment I have no idea why. I try to be as calm as possible but then I think (oh I'll have to be the one tidying that up later, sorting the bonfire trash all over the garden not to mention it being dangerous and we should've moved it out the way in the first place) but with non stop crying from toddler - who is coming down with something I just lost coping skills. Feel defeated then start shouting.

What is wrong with me? Why does this happen when Ive felt absolutely happy and fine moments before.

Good old hormones.

I cried because I had been crying a couple of weeks ago.

Do you have any friends who you could meet up with to get some adult company to try and take the pressure off a bit?

TBH I'm not sure how your coping with 3 kids and a pregnancy and not crying every second!
Your doing a good job

don't worry OP its not just you! and I only have 1 DS to look after too and I am not as far as you. I can go from perfectly happy to a blubbering mess within seconds and I know I lose my temper with my 5yo DS far too easy sometimes. I just don't have the patience!

why don't you suggest some kind of picnic in doors, have a few naughty treats yourself and a hot drink while you calm down. its so hard sometimes.

I just feel immense mum guilt once I've got over it.

They're all happily playing now and to be honest it wasn't really even an issue for them to make mess in the garden. I just got impatient with toddler screaming as he wanted stuff out, then didn't, and lifting at the moment is hard for me, so I packed it all away. The girls were only playing and it's our fault the bonfire was still left out. And in that moment of asking them not to do things repeatedly, I forget toddler isn't well, they've had such a good morning until now, and just hear screaming... And when I try and do the accepting he's just having a moment, try to cuddle but still going I just got overwhelmed and shouted, cried.

And I'll probably stew on it all day and find it hard to forgive myself again.

I want to be a kid again! All these emotions are too much for my brain!

It's crazy how it literally was the loveliest morning. And within moments it changed.

Friends aren't around really. So I just do my own thing, have no one I can confide in or let off steam to.

let it all out here then! rant away if you need too......

don't beat yourself up about it, as you said the kids are happily playing away and have forgotten about it.

I think my anaemia may play part in my triggers/dips... But had a great day today.

Mind set is everything!

Still having lots of moments of tearfulness. Geez it just takes over! My physical issues are causing me discomfort at the minute so I just lose patience at times.