early pregnancy

[Leannemarie]

Hi,
Im about 8 weeks pregnant and people have probably heard this all before but i can't find a thread on it.
my husband and i have been trying for about a year to have a baby , last September i fell pregnant, was so happy and then miscarried only after 4 weeks.absolutely devastated.

I found out i was pregnant mid January which was amazing.......but the way I've been feeling just doesn't seem right emotionally. even though deep down and i get waves of being excited and knowing i really want this baby , there are other horrible thoughts coming into my head that i don't, even though if i lost it i know i would fall to pieces. i feel so guilty feeling like this and petrified too. also i felt terrible telling my husband how i felt as he is so so excited.
Ive also been feeling so low , not bothered to do anything, wanting to not get out of bed , to go out, see friends and even work.
up to two weeks ago i felt very nauseous and dizzy, i wasnt sick though and still haven't been which is good. I still and i know i will feel strange but i just can't do anything. Im self-employed and been cancelling work as i just can't face it. then I'm worrying (as i will have to give up work) about money. we will be ok financially but I've been so independent earning my own money that to not have that and the extra security scares me so much.

i just can't seem to break the cycle of feeling so crap, help.
thank you

It sounds like you are very worried and stressed. You need to mention this to your midwife AND make an appointment with your GP. Depression is pregnancy, although not talked about is actually more common than postnatal depression.

I had some emotional issues earlier, most linked to worry about having another miscarriage. Now at 28 weeks I am nolonger worried but I have enjoyed being pregnant. Speaking to friends not many women seem to enjoy it. But if you are actively unhappy, not wanting to go out etc then you must seek help.

I suffered with some anxiety in my second trimester and it was awful. Luckily I feel great at 31 weeks now but I implore you to speak to someone-don't be alone like I was.

I knew mine was hormonal (I came off the pill 3 years ago because it caused me to feel very low) and that helped me handle it and rationalise a little but I would have benefited from speaking to somebody. Don't be scared-it's very common and the thoughts you are having don't make you a bad person or parent to be.

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling great - it sounds like totally normal emotions to be having after a previous miscarriage. I know I didn't want to get too excited in the first trimester in case I had another loss. You may want to come and join us on www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2497159-Staying-posifrickentive-Thread-7-for-ladies-pregnant-after-mc?

Also, do mention your anxiety to your doctor or midwife (once you have one) and they can refer you for mental health support x

Thank you both for your replies,

i have an appointment for my 8 week scan on friday (we started to seek fertility drs as we hadn't got pregnant after a year of trying) i will mention it then and call the dr tomorrow.

i do suffer from anxiety , previous to being pregnant.

as i know other early pregnancies, I'm off my food and not eating much at all, trying to force myself to eat something at times as i know its not going to be doing the baby any good.

I'm trying to think, I'm feeling like this because of being pregnant but its just not helping.

My midwife sign posted me to a self referral special cbt drop in sessions for pregnant ladies. I never went but knowing I could made me feel better. There is lots of support out there if say you need help.

I have just started a hypnobirthing CD which I am finding helpful. Maybe try a specialist early pregnancy or a generic deep relaxation CD - you can get the tracks free from you tube. I also find swimming really good and I really notice if I don't go every week. Pregnancy is hard work and you need to find coping mechanisms that work for you.