Although I am extremely grateful to be, quite miraculously, proceeding normally with pregnancy number five at 6 weeks and 6 days (two Ds's, one ruptured ectopic, one pregnancy attached to my chest wall!) I would be ever so grateful if you could take a leave of absence as you are now, quite frankly, driving me insane.
I realise that you are now quite a familiar friend given that this is now the fifth time our paths have crossed, however, in previous pregnancies, you had the decency to visit for an hour or so in the morning and then presumably, take an extended nap until the following morning. I therefore, cannot fathom, why, during this visit, you feel the need to stay for the entirety of my waking hours and even at some points during my much needed sleeping period also.
I would also like to question your need to make your presence felt following my ingestion of every single food based item. Please explain your distaste at the apple I consumed merely 15 minutes ago as I felt this would be largely inoffensive to you, however, said apple is now making its way into the local sewer system.
In conclusion, I would like to express my burning desire for you to, not to beat around the bush, do one!
Kind regards
FTiF