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What actually happens once the baby is here then?

37 replies

SpringChicken · 20/05/2004 11:53

Sorry - this is going to be such a thick thread - i can tell before i've even asked the questions

Basically, as i have never done this before i don't really know what to expect once the baby arrives - can anyone help out with these questions?

MIL said that once out of hospital i wont be allowed to go out with the baby for a few days as the midwives recommend you stay indoors - Is this right?

Health Visitors/Midwife - Who do i see when i am at home, is it the midwife for the first visit then the health visitor? How often do you see them?

Injections etc - When does the baby have all of their injections - we are going to Centre Parcs for the weekend - if the baby arrives on time will be 8 weeks old when we go - will i be able to take them swimming? Am i limited on the things they are able to do before having all of their injections?

Again, sorry if these things are obvious but having never done this before not really sure what to expect.

Thanks in Advance

OP posts:
aloha · 20/05/2004 11:55

You can go out whenever you like SpringChicken. Rule number one is to ignore what your MIL tells you!

Janh · 20/05/2004 11:57

Rule number 2 is to smile sweetly and nod whenever she gives you any.

Janh · 20/05/2004 11:57

advice that is!

Janh · 20/05/2004 11:59

Can't help with much of the other stuff, except midwife comes daily up to day 10 AFAIK (used to anyway) and HV after that but not daily (?)

Haven't done it for years myself and have forgotten what I ever knew! Very exciting time for you!

gloworm · 20/05/2004 11:59

i was in hospital for 5 days( as had sections), but was out walking with ds in pram couple of days later.
At this time of year weather is lovely, even of wet its still not too cold. just wrap him/her up well, use rain cover on pram if its a bit windy/rainy. I think fresh air is good for you and baby.
I was not out too much with dd at beginning, because it was end of oct and freezing and wet and miserable!

twiglett · 20/05/2004 12:00

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secur · 20/05/2004 12:01

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bundle · 20/05/2004 12:01

we went to centerparcs when dd2 was about 5 mths (just before she could sit on her own so couldn't use the double chariot thing on the back of a bike ) and I found the water too cold, she cried and then I realised she'd not had all her jabs & got paranoid. but we did have a fabulous babysittter and had a night out! (which one are you goingto?)

Kayleigh · 20/05/2004 12:03

And for the first few months (actually make that years) all you will here from your MIL is "well, we never did it like that"

secur · 20/05/2004 12:03

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beansprout · 20/05/2004 12:03

Spring Chicken - thank you SO much for starting this thread. I have no idea either!!

When are you due?

Janh · 20/05/2004 12:05

I have already got my responses to new information ready, for when I am a MIL-not-from-hell-I-hope - "isn't that interesting!"

NomDePlume · 20/05/2004 12:07


  1. IGNORE MIL ! If you want to go out with babe, then you go out (provided he/she has no adverse health reasons advised by your paed) !

  2. In my area the MW came every day for the first 10 days post hospital. She just came to chat, weigh DD and give her the quick once over. She also checked to make sure that my womb was back to normal (as normal as it can be days post birth!). She also asked me questions about how I was feeling and how things were going, I was also given a post-natal depression assessment questionaire to fill out. I didn't get PND, btw, it was just a precaution. The HV took over at 10 days and visited once a week for 6 weeks. Any further contact would be through baby clinic etc post 6 wks.

  3. Taking your baby swimming is entirely at your own discretion but most health profs advise that you go once your child has complete their full course of immunisations, at around 4 months.

bundle · 20/05/2004 12:09

mw came till dd2's umbilical stump fell off, quite late I think around 10 days or more

hv even wrote in dd1's book when she came to see us about dd2, said she had "excellent language skills"

acnebride · 20/05/2004 12:15

MIL alert - you could have some trouble here. This sounds like v old-fashioned advice. If I were you I'd find some pregnant contemporaries fast - via the NCT or Meet a Mum or something like that so that when she starts saying other things that were in fashion 30 years ago you have some alternative resources. I'm not kidding here - look at some other threads to show how undermining such advice can be, particularly if you want to breastfeed. MN is great but there's something about having somebody physical to support you as it were.

Anyway, in hospital if you are going you will get your Child Health Record (red or yellow book) which has loads of useful stuff in it). Mws visit once a day for ten days or so, and I think they discharge you once they and you are happy that the baby has regained his birthweight. HVs then take over and visit perhaps twice in a fortnight (probably varies with district) but are available to come out while the babe is under a year. HV also give you v useful book Birth to Five.

First tranche of vaccinations happen at 4, 8, 12 wks. Check with CenterParcs re swimming policy, some pools will let you, some won't.

Most importantly, Don't Worry. You can gather the info as you need it - if you tried to get all the info you will ever need into your head at once you would go bonkers - there is always someone to ask at the time.

binkie · 20/05/2004 12:17

Going out & when: completely each to own, midwives won't boss. W/ no. 1 I didn't want to for about ten days (but then I had section + stay in noisy post-natal ward, so I just wanted home and peace). Make sure you have a full fridge and freezer & loads of nappies, or someone who'll happily run errands, so that you're not forced into anything. If BF, huge amounts of snacks (chocolate biscuits, bananas or whatever you best like) laid in are essential.

Health at home: midwife first, then HV. Midwife first week for me, HV only once I think.

Don't know about injections/swimming I'm afraid.

Something you didn't mention: visitors (other than MW etc.): be prepared in case you find you don't want them - ie if you're not sure you can be firm, prime your dh/best friend to be ready to play dragon.

The advice "get into your pyjamas, turn off the phone, get to know your baby" suited me. Newbornness passes very fast - make the most of those early cuddly sleepy days.

SpringChicken · 20/05/2004 12:22

Thanks everyone this is so helpful

Bundle - going to Sherwood Forest on 3rd Sept for the weekend - will give them a call now and ask about the swimming policy.

Beansprout - Due 10th July - has only just really started to sink in after all this time that there is going to be a baby here very soon

As for MIL - i was really surprised when she said this - she is usually really good at not making snide comments etc but when i mentioned to her that all we had bought clothes wise for the baby was baby grows and sleeps suits (because we want to wait and see if boy or girl before buying outfits) and DP mentioned that once the baby was here we would go and buy proper clothes and outfits to fit either boy or girl - she turned her nose right up and pointed out that i wont be allowed to go anywhere for the first few days anyway - thought this was a bit odd as i hadn't heard of it before and was looking forward to going out walking with my new babe in buggy

OP posts:
secur · 20/05/2004 12:26

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hercules · 20/05/2004 12:27

i've never understand that not leaving the house business. For one thing you have to bring them home from the hospital!!
Dh's family call time before birth and a month afterwards "confinement". mil was with us for two months and I took great pleasure taking ds to school whilst having contractions with dd. I then resumed taking ds to school as soon as I could walk ie a couple of days. Dh's family dont leave the house for a month. How they manage with children at school I dont know.

sponge · 20/05/2004 12:30

The brilliant thing about really small babies is how portable they are and how they basically sleep in any form of transport (sling, car, buggy etc) enabling you to go out pretty much as much as you want or feel up to.
After the first couple of weeks dh and I used to go round to the pub with dd in her boucy chair, plonk her on the table (outside, would not go in smoky place) and have a nice drink in the sunshine with our mates while she kipped
I would also go and meet friends for lunch with her in her buggy and she'd mostly sleep through it all.
I found the midwife a tremendous support as she comes every day and will answer all your stupid and not so questions and help with feeding.
My hv only came once but I used to take dd to my local doctor's surgery which had a once a week baby clinic for weighing, questions etc, mainly so I got a chance to chat to some other mums. This time will try to meet a couple in the area as I found maternity leave quite lonely and boring.

KateandtheGirls · 20/05/2004 12:33

As everyone has said, as long as your baby is healthy and you're feeling up to it, there's absolutely no reason why you shouldn't take baby out whenever you want to.

I'm just amazed reading this. Your midwife actually comes to your home??? Every day??? Then a health visitor comes after that???

Here in the US, once you are discharged from the hospital after giving birth (within 48 hours for a vaginal delivery), you're on your own. You have to take the baby to it's paedeatrician for check ups at certain stages, and the mother should have a 6 week post-partum check up, but that's about it. Certainly nobody comes to your house.

I miss the NHS!

pupuce · 20/05/2004 12:36

hmmm.... well if you have just had a baby and decide to go food shopping - i.e. a strenuous task.... it is NOT good and can be dangerous!
I don't expect SC to do this as first time mums are usually amazed at how tired and sore they are.... but "experienced" mothers can sometimes be seen with a 1 day old baby doing their food shopping... the risk is of fainting or heamorraging.... the rule is to be sensible and take it easy for a few days ! And rushing a baby around for the first few days is not great either.

I do take the point that some do not have any support and may not have choice,.... but in our culture we are too quick to rush around after a birth! It takes a while for our body to stabilize after a birth... and lack of sleep can taint or judgment too!

lou33 · 20/05/2004 12:41

Haven't read all of this, but midwives usually visit for the first 10 days, although if needed they can visit until 28 days.

Agree about ignoring mil advice completely, and just nodding occasionally saying "oh really" , while faking an interested and grateful loook.

motherinferior · 20/05/2004 12:44

Yes, I'd say 'scrap all plans to do anything', for a bit. After my first baby, I couldn't face leaving the house for a couple of weeks, I'm afraid. (I felt even more inferior that usual about mothers who were dashing about!)

sponge · 20/05/2004 12:45

Pupuce is right however. In the first few days you're pretty knackered - just getting dressed is a bit of an achievement - and I found if I went out for anything other than a short walk then I bled a lot more. So do take it easy and listen to your body.

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