Advice gratefully received - when would you recommend I start my maternity leave?

[HappyInL0nd0n]

Hi all,

First pregnancy here, due on 30 March. Very excited, a little terrified.... I guess the usual cocktail of emotions....

Anyway, I'm currently debating when to start my maternity leave. I'm lucky enough to be able to take six months, but obviously I'd like to spend as much of that with the baby as possible.

That said, I want to balance having time with the baby with not pushing myself too hard at work towards the end. Like many of us, I have a pretty demanding job that requires occasionally long hours and a lot of concentration. I'd rather go out on a good note having completed a proper hand-over with my maternity leave cover than hang on too long, be a bit exhausted, fed up and maybe miss something or just leave on a less positive note.

A bit of time to myself to get organised before the little one arrives too could be great, but I'm also wondering whether actually, I'd be better off in work with all the distraction than sitting around by myself getting lost in my own head towards the end.

The last factor floating around my head is that very often, members of my family go late and end up being induced two weeks after their due dates. If I stop work 2 weeks/10 days beforehand and then end up going well past my due date, will I resent all of that 'wasted' time with my baby at the end of my maternity leave period?

Decisions, decisions.... I'm swithering and dithering here, and I have to send my forms off to HR this week indicating when I want to start my leave.

So, ladies, I'd be very grateful if you could let me know, based on your experiences, what you'd recommend. Did you work right up to the end, or did you stop a week or two beforehand? Were you happy with your choice? What, if anything, would you do differently next time out? Many thanks for your advice.

Thanks everyone for your responses - I really appreciated your input. I'll think it over.

OP I haven't been through it before but am currently 38+5 and finish work this Friday at 39 weeks exactly. I feel absolutely fine, and I think having used leave to have shorter weeks, and of course having the Christmas hols to relax a bit, really contributed to that. I work in central London with a 1.5 hour commute and am coping just fine. Only you know how you feel though and if your commute is tough you probably won't want to be doing that beyond 37/38 weeks. But I'd recommend looking into shortening your working week or working from home if you're worried about going crazy at home if you do end up being overdue - it's working out for me! I'll have max 3 weeks off work if baby is 2 weeks overdue and that sounds like plenty long enough for me...

I'm due on the 23rd March and am hoping to be able to work until the 19th - I don't have any annual leave I can take and won't be able to afford to take a full year off, so don't want to use up too much leave before the wee one gets here. I'm also conscious of the fact that I could go overdue in which case in this area I wouldn't be induced until 40 + 12.

I'm finishing 3 weeks tomorrow when I'll be 35+5, and I'm just about at the stage where I feel ready to start cutting back. I am due to be induced at 38 weeks, but depending on my growth scans this could move forward to 37 weeks, or back to 39 weeks.

I've got annual leave to use up so next week is my last full time week, with the remaining 2 weeks a mix of days off, short days and just working in the mornings.

You'll know when you are ready to wind down but if it were me I'd definitely be finishing at least a week before I was due - I'd probably tell HR I was intending to finish on 18th but find out if you are able to pull your start date forward if you feel you need to.

I think it depends how you feel. At six months there were times that I was really struggling but at eight months I was fine. I agreed with work that I would stay for as long as I could and had a shared document that showed where I was at any given time, just in case I ended up going early. In the end I finished on the Friday, waved goodbye and said I would see everyone on Monday morning, and unexpectabely gave birth on the Saturday. My commute was only about 30 mins each way most days though, which made it easier and I drove, but I was doing lots of long hours from about five months onwards (maybe 60 hour weeks).

I went off at 39+1 (in the US so only 12 weeks leave). I was then 2 weeks late. Given my history and my DM similarly going very late in all pregnancies, I would tend to think I'd go overdue again. Statistically, I believe I am more likely to anyway. So if I have another one I'll work till the due date and then work from home after that until I go into labor, maybe part-time, so as not to waste leave.

I'd rather have time with the baby. Leaving a child in nursery or with family can be heart wrenching. I'd probably go right up to 40 weeks.

All I would say to bear in mind is any time to yourself will be a luxury that wont be afforded to you if you decide to go for a second.

Whilst there most definetly can be time carved out just for you once you become a Mum, you will not have as much freedom (physically and mentally) as you do now.

I took two weeks before edd and dc1 was born two days after her edd so 16 days all in. It was utter bliss. Stark comparison to dc2 where I had a nearing 3yo to enteetain all day - it was easier being at work but sadly I was signed off sick for the last 6 weeks (forcing my mat leave to start 4weeks before edd).

I'm in Ireland and we only get 26 weeks here so sort of in the same situation but here you have to finish at least 2 weeks before your due date but lots people ask the nurse/doctor to push the due date out by a week and just take the one week, if you go over by a couple of days, I think it's enough time before baby arrives (SPD, crazy commutes etc not included!)

Thanks so much, everyone.

Aaaargh, so confusing. As soon as I feel I've made up my mind one way or the other, the option I haven't picked gets more appealing. I'm going to take the weekend to mull it over.

I would really love a break before the baby arrives, but ideally only a week or ten days. But as you all know, it's just impossible to predict when he/she will arrive, and I really don't want to have no time before the baby arrives to get organised.... I need some clever mathematician or betting shop worker to calculate the odds for me, and then make an educated punt!

Thanks again, all.