God what have we done!!

[NorthernBird92]

So my baby's 9 months and today I found out I'm pregnant again! Around 4 weeks I reckon.
I was on the pill but the last few months with moving ect I've missed it.( I know it's my fault ect should have used contraception)
I always liked the idea of another baby and the baby's being close together age wise ...but now it's happened well I don't know what the hell to think...
I'm scared dd will feel left out and less loved. I'm worried I won't have a really close bond with her when dc2 comes along...in general I'm just so confused as to how I feel...
Dh is shocked but of course wants the baby but I don't know what I want!
Has anyone any advice on the close age gaps or having a second child
Thanks

Thankyou! I'm so grateful for the advice routines will be top of the list ... Like I put on the end of my last reply do you have any advice on the practicality of 2 children under 2?
Double buggy is all I can think that will be a necessity at the moment but I know there is so much more! X

Hey, we're still on the fence about sharing a room.. we do have a tiny spare room (filled with junk) which we were thinking of using for DC2. Or we might get them to share, really not sure! I had bought an inline phil & teds double buggy in the mothercare sale (but mothercare have kind of screwed up, as it wasn't actually in stock on the website, so I don't know if it will ever actually be dispatched!!). Will also be going for the sling & buggy option too.

I've not done anything else to get organised tbh. I also feel guilty for the new baby but have to remind myself than 'unplanned' is not the same as 'unwanted'.

I'm actually mostly worried about what to do with DS when I go into labour

Dd is still in with us so I'm thinking of putting her in her room in the next few weeks and making it really lovely and 'her space' so she has something she doesn't have to share but then again I don't know! I think they could share god I don't know !
Oh that's Rubbish about your buggy I hope it comes!
Yes same here like I said I've no family so no idea what to do with dd when I go to have dc2 x

Hi there,

I just wanted to say hello and that I'm in the same situation. Dd was a rainbow baby and pfb. She's 15 months now and I'm nearly 34 weeks pg with ds. We were undecided about having two. Lots of people in my family including myself have small age gap opposite sex siblings that they don't get on with now. I have a particularly toxic one. It scared the crap out of me at first but I have come to the opinion now that it was due to my upbringing and my other fears about not coping have been quashed when I look at all the people I know who have done it and they're fine so I just think if it's all good for them it's all good for me!

We have a 3 bed bungalow. We've not sorted sleeping arrangements yet. It's a sore Subject. Dh wants to keep a guest room and is thinking of just putting ds's cot in there then moving it out temporarily if we have guests. I'm thinking of trying them both in together because I think it might be easier with 2 in nappies but dd is a good sleeper and I don't want to upset that.

We are going to attempt to do it without a double buggy. That might change but dd has been walking since 11 months so even if we did get one it wouldn't be needed for long. She's still having bottles and can't feed herself though so that's going to make things difficult.

I don't remember my brother being born when I was the age dd is now. Dd can't talk yet either so I'm not sure she knows what's going on.

I am a sahm and have inlaws down the road who have dd one day per week and dh works very flexible hours. I am very uncomfortable already and it has been difficult especially in late pregnancy it's silly things I struggle with like my back really hurts lifting dd.

I agree with a lot of what pp says, and certainly now I've got my head round it all my biggest fear is just leaving dd while I'm in hospital!

Double buggy, two cots, and if possible space in dc1 room for your oh/you if needed.
For dc1, white noise or at least practice of hearing you up and about in the evenings, and early mornings without getting up themselves
Ours have shared since dc2 was 6,months and I don't think dc1 remembers any different.

no experience myself, once DS2 is born there will be a 5.5 year gap between my 2 but sister has a 13 month age gap between her 2 boys, that's been hard work due to the oldest having ADHD, the youngest has taken to copying his behaviour which is slightly erratic, they are either loving eachother or fighting like mad! My brother has a DS and DD, 15 months apart and my DSIL finds it really easy, but she is rigid with bed time routine, feeding DNiece etc.

they both seem to have coped really well though.

my DS is already saying he wants to hold his brother all the time when hes here, that's more of a pain because my niece is now 8 weeks and he needs to hold her every time we see her, but obviously isn't old enough to be left holding a newborn. (and DS still doesn't sleep through the night.....5yo )

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and my baby just turned one. There will be a 19 month age gap. It would have been 17 month but I had a mc. Totally planned short gap. Me and my sister are 16 month apart and very close it's going to be fun!

I'm in the same boat, 12 weeks pregnant with a 6.5 month old.

Pregnancy sickness has been rough and the fatigue.

I'm a sahm too but looking to do a few hours at my DPs family pub to get a few extra pennies as we need a bigger car and double pram.

I had a massive wobble when I first found out as I didnt think I would cope. It didn't help that DS1 was going through 4 month sleep regression just as I found out and he has always slept through since 6 weeks old. I know it will be tough but I'm looking forward to getting the baby stage over in one go and enjoying them growing up so close in age.

It's very scary and will be undoubtedly hard but I am looking forward to it.

Congratulations and all the best for your pregnancy

I am a year and 5 days younger than my sister, so Mum was pregnant when Dsis was 3 months old! I've never plucked up the courage to ask if I was a mistake he fact that they waited 6 years to have Dsis 2 could be telling...

Having a sibling so close in age was great when we were young...I'm pretty sure we agree on that and I'm not sure she actually remembers me not being around. Obviously I never knew any different though and you'd have to ask Dsis for her real opinion!

Thanks for your replies I think this is what it is at the min.. A wobble.
I know I sound pathetic but I'm just so tired and queasy at the min I'm dreading what's coming....
We live in married quarters on camp currently in a 2 bed and can't move to a 3 bed till 7 months gone! The should be fun 7 months pregnant a 15 month old moving house then only 2 months to get the house prepared!!
Hubby says he's home in a few weeks so bring in a weekend of sleep for me and weekend of dd for him!! X

Hi when my dc3 was 14 weeks old I found out I was pregnant again. I was so worried. I didnr tell anyone (except dp) for ages but do you know what? it was fine. They are now 1y3months and 2y4months and while sometimes they fight like cat and dog most of the time it's great.
My advice would be if anyone offers help snap their hand off, in the early days I very much went by the mantra "everyone fed and no one dead!" Don't try and be supermum and cbeebies is your friend

14 months between my Dds, OH was away for first 3 years so mainly on my own which looking back worked well as I had a very strict routine which he would of wrecked 😉

Bloody hard work, DD1 nightmare baby and DD2 such an easy baby! You just find a way of getting through. First few months are hard but once you have routine it just settled down.

They have such a close bond now (age 8 and 9) it's lovely 😃

Congratulations. I have a 9 month old and I'm in awe that you managed to actually have sex. Ours is currently wedged between us in bed!

I'm 12w2d and my DS turns one on Sunday. This pregnancy took is completely by surprise as DS took 5 years and 3 rounds of IVF to conceive! I found out at 7weeks and I admit, for the first week or so I had a serious panic. I couldn't look at DS without crying as I thought he would feel unloved and I couldn't imagine having enough love for two (I know it sounds ridiculous!). At 9 weeks I had a heavy bleed and I found myself in tears at the prospect of loosing this baby, thankfully everything was ok but that was a turning point for me.

There are 17 months between DH and his brother and he has coped with this much better than me. But the PP is right, I think DS will be young enough to not experience any jealousy when new baby arrives and when they're older they'll never know life without their little brother or sister. For us financially it'll be tough, but we're hoping to keep DS with his childminder 2 days a week to keep their relationship going when baby is here and also to give me a few days with the new addition. I think it'll be much more fun for DS to be out and about with his CM group than stuck at home with me and a newborn!

We can do this! It'll be tough but a few years down the line they'll be best friends, playing together, into the same sort of things, maybe even part of the same friendship groups. I'm starting to see more positives to the small age gap than negatives

My son will be one at the end of this month and number 2 is due beginning of July. Even though we planned for a small age gap I still had a huge panic when I first found out I was pregnant which I think is pretty normal.
Now, I'm looking forward to it. I can't wait for them to grow up together and be able to do things together. It's been tough though with hyperemisis and tiredness and I'm aware it will be hard when the second comes but in hoping it'll be worth it.
Congratulations to everyone else too.

My DCs are just 12 months apart (oops!) I won't lie, the first 3 - 4 months were tough because routines take time to establish and become, well, routine. Now though (aged 5 & 6) I can tell you, it is THE BEST. They adore each other and are both into the same things, whilst having very different personalities. If I had my time over, I'd do the same again. Holidays, days out, weekends etc are easy - there's no 'catering to one' and then catering to the other. Their homework is, broadly speaking, much the same and hand me downs are still current fashion!

Congrats - and good luck!

Hijacking the thread slightly, can I ask those who've been there how they cope with feeding? Dd still has a bottle and is ff.

Exactly the same! Ds1 is 15 mths and Ds2 due in 7 weeks! Aaaagh! We have home help as both work full time so hoping that will enable me to spend some time with Ds1 whilst on Mat leave too. Hoping they will share as soon as DS2 is sleeping through but prepared that this may not work. Just praying for a healthy baby and hoping he's a lot easier and more chilled than ds1 who's neither!