Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

1 2

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Need a hand hold. Distraught.

46 replies

Sallycinnamon17 · 08/01/2016 16:59

Had my 12 week scan today, found out we were expecting twins. Unfortunately both have passed away. I actually don't know what to do with myself, emotions are everywhere and I'm so confused. Just looking for some support.

OP posts:

Report

winewolfhowls · 08/01/2016 19:23

So so sorry. I'm glad you got a picture of your twins and I'm sorry that you were just given a leaflet that's very cold of the hospital

Champagneformyrealfriends · 08/01/2016 19:30

I'm so sorry - please look after yourself. Sending lots of hugs xxx

cheapredwine · 08/01/2016 20:06

Oh sally I am so desperately sorry. Allow yourself to do whatever yiu need to. Minute by minute. Breathe. Thinking of you and your OH.

Dixiechick17 · 08/01/2016 20:07

I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through, but just wanted to say how sorry I am

MetalMidget · 08/01/2016 20:47

I'm so sorry for your loss.

LouLou030783 · 08/01/2016 20:52

Can't even begin to imagine what ur going through thinking of u and big hand hold

oneconfusedchick · 08/01/2016 22:17

So sorry for your loss

acsec · 08/01/2016 22:28

I'm so sorry {{big hugs}} I had my 12 week scan in August and was told our baby had many problems and I'd have to have a medical termination. It was the saddest day.

I told my mum and my closest friends and I am glad I did because I have needed their understanding as there have been some very hard days since.

Tell someone you are close to as you will need their support. You will get through this and there are brighter days ahead.

You will gets lots of help on here. My thoughts are with you.

MingZillas · 08/01/2016 22:33

I'm so sorry for your loss. What tragic news. I'm thinking of you. I've suffered a mc so can partly understand what you are going through

MissSMartin · 08/01/2016 23:09

So very very sorry to hear this Sally ((Hugs)) xx

HappyInL0nd0n · 09/01/2016 05:48

You have my deepest sympathies. I'm so sorry. Look after yourself.

InsufficientlyCaffeinated · 09/01/2016 06:24

Hi SallyCinnamon how are you coping this morning? Just want to lend my support as I'm in the midst of this process right now. Lost my baby on Thursday at 10+6. Ironically the day of my booking appointment so it feels as if my baby didn't really exist. I was given that leaflet by a nurse & DP and I were left to make a decision between 3 terrible options. It was difficult and I felt none were right. However the Dr who saw me when I was miscarrying in the early hours of the morning had come back on his shift at this point (we were there a long time) and he was really kind and came in and really explained each option in detail. While the nurse didn't want to influence the decision, because the doctor had been with me through the process he gave me his medical advice although said it was my choice. TBH it really helped, I felt like I was in control of the decision but having professional adcice meant I felt less stressed about making the wrong choice.

When you speak to them to tell them your decision could you ask to speak to a consultant to get more information on your choices? It's such a difficult decision to make when you're in so much mental and physical pain.

You're not alone. I hope you have lots of real life support but know that there are others here who are going through or have been through this and will offer a virtual hand to hold

Sallycinnamon17 · 09/01/2016 10:03

Thank you all again for your support and kind words, you really are helping. I'm also so sorry to hear that so many of you have been through the same. Last night was very tough, especially trying to sleep but I know we will get through this. DP has been very supportive but I can see he is struggling too, he seems to be putting on a brave face for my sake but is being very quiet.
We are currently still waiting for the hospital to contact us, if I don't hear from them soon I will ring them myself, as much as I don't want to. We haven't really made a decision of what we are going to do yet but I'm leaning more towards a medical miscarriage. This option I think will help me cope more, making everything seem more real. All the threads and links to advice you have all kindly posted have helped with all of this and I can't thank you enough.

OP posts:

3littlebadgers · 09/01/2016 11:42

Sally I hope the hospital can sort everything out for you quickly. That feeling of lingering can be awful. Thinking of you

Sallycinnamon17 · 09/01/2016 14:19

Thank you 3littlebadgers I'm now booked in for Monday morning. Trying to distract myself as much as possible until then. It is a very strange lingering feeling, especially when I go to touch my bump and then realise.

OP posts:

alliemarg · 09/01/2016 17:07

I'm so sorry to hear this, MMC is a horrendous shock, especially after you think you've got through the risky first 12 weeks.

I had the operation after my MMC, in my opinion it worked out for the best as it was over quickly and controlled, I was a bit nervous about either waiting or opting for the medically-induced miscarriage. There was no pain, just a bit of soreness afterwards.

Please take time to heal and know this is a lot more common than you think - that doesn't make it less of a terrible situation, it's just we felt like we were the only ones it happened to and there must be something wrong with us. Everyone it happened to that I know went on to have healthy pregnancies (in fact a number of children in some cases). My baby was born a week shy of the anniversary of finding out about the MMC - take time to heal and when you are strong enough I'm sure everything will go well next time around.

Telling the rest of your family is horrid as they anticipate the baby with great excitement as well but they'll keep their disappointment to themselves and want to help you as much as possible. We found the more people we told, the more stories of similar happening came out and boosted our confidence that it was a one-off event and it will be our turn next.

mrsjskelton · 11/01/2016 10:15

Sending you prayers OP

whatsoever · 11/01/2016 13:21

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had similar news at my 12 weeks scan in 2011 (although single pregnancy).

Most important things I learnt were lean on your partner (and vice versa) as much as you can; don't rush any decisions, don't try and be 'normal' too soon as you need to grieve, and give yourself time if you need it before trying again.

I also got a lot of comfort from hearing of people who'd had normal pregnancies and babies after their loss, but that was a bit later on.

Take care

Everythinggettingbigger · 11/01/2016 14:31

Got nothing useful to add just wanted to say how horrible it must be for you and that I am very sorry to hear this.

Sallycinnamon17 · 12/01/2016 12:23

Just a quick update for you all. Had two lots of medication, peseries vaginally and two oral tablets this morning but still waiting for something to happen. Had an overnight stay last night due to pain and temperature but should be allowed home soon.

OP posts:

Champagneformyrealfriends · 12/01/2016 12:48

and hugs xxx

Flip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.