Would they let me have an elective caesarean?

[SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve]

I have 2 boys, the first was a HIDEOUS pregnancy (6 months in wheelchair with severe SPD, diabetes, pre-eclampsia, 6 week hospital stay) followed by a horrific birth (failed induction, unsuccessful epidural, made to labour for 24 hours on my back without being allowed up, which is crap for SPD, retained placenta, haemorrhage, 3rd degree tear, GA and transfusion, baby born not breathing with cord around neck followed by wekk in intensive care). Second pregnancy was OK and birth more straightforward, but culminated in shoulder dystocia - haemorrhaged again, tore again and needed transfusion.

I want another baby and so does dh. It's definitely the right time for us and we have really thought it through and talked about it. I'm ashamed to say though that the thought of another horrific pregnancy/birth experience is a major push-factor for me - I feel cowardly admitting that, because I know birth is agony for everyone and others seem to just weather it OK. But I am having nightmares and have started having mild panic attacks again at night (I used to have constant, major ones, but am on amytriptyline and have been virtually panic-free for months).

Do you think the hospital would let me have an elective caesarean? Moreover, do you think they should let me? (I won't be chippy with anyone who thinks not, honestly, I am inviting all opinions). I know it's major surgery and I'm not taking it lightly - but my throat closes up whenever I think about before, especially the birth I had with ds1, it was like being butchered slowly. I can't go through it again.

Yes, definitely with your history greensleeves. Why do you think they wouldn't?

I don't know anything about the rules or what constitutes a good enough reason, I never asked with ds2 - but I thought most hospitals were trying to reduce non-essential caesareans, so I wondered whether people thought I would encounter opposition or not?

I do hope it's as easy as that mears, it would be a real weight off my mind.

I personally think that you will not have any opposition at all.

Previous shoulder dystocia is often a reason for C/S in itself

They are trying to reduce the numbers of elective c/s, but with that history, you might swing it. They are becoming more aware of SPD by the day, and although that isn't reason in itself for a c/s, I think that birth trauma with first baby is a valid reason.

I know nothing - so am useless to you, but your history sounds pretty horrific to me. I guess it would depend on the consultant.

What about going to see your GP to find out if they think it's likely you'd be refused?

I had heard that - but my GP says that shoulder dystocia is not written in my notes, even though the midwife who delivered ds2 said "shoulder dystocia" to me and then proceeded to say "McRoberts position" to the other midwife and they manouevred my leg up to get ds2 out. I'm just worrying that the consultant will say a point-blank "no, it's not necessary" and I will be pregnant and have to go through with another vaginal birth, it's irrational really

greeny....delighted you are getting to a place where you feel able to have another baby

now, you know how pro vaginal birth i am....but for you , if your hospital refused you a c.s...i personally would go down there and make them give you a section !

your history is so horrendous and i think that you would benefit greatly from a calm, planned and unhurried birth

did you ever contact any organisations to be debreifed on your birth experiences.? probabbly asked oyu before, but post baby placenta brain strikes again!

No, I never talked about it (apart from bending the ear off dh and posting on MN about it a lot).

It's reassuring that you (all) think it will be allowed. I would want to be awake and have dh with me, I could look forward to meeting my baby without it all being terrifying and out of control.

I had an induction with DD which resulted in a long labour and ended with an emergency c-section due to brow presentation. I asked for an elective section as soon as I found out I was pregnant with DS. The consultant I saw at 36 weeks, agreed that my first birth was a good enough reasan to require an elective section. The felt that there was a risk of another brow presentation which would end in another section.

If you really do want a section, tell them from the beginning and don't give up. I am sure you can ask for a second opinion if they turn you down.

I think if you feel that strongly about it, they will probably give you all the relevant facts, but will let you decide. It's hardly "too posh to push"!

I would definitely try to talk to someone at the hospital about their practices there - they do vary a lot. One place may do it no probs, but others might be reluctant?

I definitely think that they would let you have an elective c-section. With what you went through, including the shoulder dystocia and tearing, I think you would be in a very good position to demand what you want.

Oh, thank you , I feel much more positive about asking now. I would go through another natural delivery, if I HAD to - I couldn't let it be the deciding factor - but I do feel really sick at the thought.

hi greensleves, at the moment im pregnant with baby No2 i had a bad birth with ds that has resulted in to a lot of things thats to long to go into now (no where near as bad as yours)

well when i found out i was pregnant again i pooed my pants and got very upset at the thought of giving birth again, so my first appointment with my midwife i told her all about it and she has sent me to see a phycologist(sp?) and i have been told that i may be offered a CS as the amount of fears and obsesive compulsive thoughts i have but after 2 sessions with this phycologist im feeling a lot more posotive about giving birth.

but if i wanted one then this phycologist would back me up and demand for it she has told me, so what im trying to say is maybe if you do go for no 3 then the option is bound to be there for you as it is for me

Thanks redbull, and I'm very glad you are feeling better about it all too, I hope it all goes well for you this time!

im alot more posotive that it will go well thanks ,

good luck to you for what ever you decide, im sure you will get the CS you want when you fall pregnant

Which I hope will be soon!!

I think they should let you have one, no problems.

God forbid, if I'd the nightmare that you describe, I would be hard pushed to get pregnant again, let alone have another natural birth.

I am going the other way round this time. But when I read that, I thought ermmmmmmm...........u got me thinking now

Greeny..IMHO , I think it is a really good idea to be debriefed on your births before embarking on another one..if you want to talk about it, you could try

birth trauma association
and

birth crisis

or just continue talking about it on MN or to DH !!

You're right lulu, it is about time I broached it and got it all off my back. I am conscious of "carrying" it, IYKWIM. It's still very hard to look at. It would be nice to be totally free of it before we go into having our next (and probably our last) child.

I do appreciate all of this advice, thanks.

greeny. as part of my doula course . i had to write my birth stories. and although i had talked so much about DSs birth, i had never actually written it ,and had to look at it, on paper, in black and white. i felt much better afterwards, even though i had dealt with it. and now i can read it and feel ok, as it was not my fault. and it was not 100th as bad as yours, but i carried it until DD was born. just really glad you are not letting it stop you from planning another baby x

i asked for an elective cs with ds and mw laughed it off and told me "not to be so silly, childbirth is hard work, thats why it's called labour" i bled from 6-20wks and had a horrific pg ending in a 72hr oxytocin labour and ecs. they nearly lost both of us twice. i then had a v nasty uterine infection (coz i was in labour so long)it turned out ds was 9lb2 with a head the same size as a 5w old, i'm a size 6 with size 2 feet! suffice to say any future pgs will be by cs. you need to stick to your guns here, good luck babe

I reckon no-one in their right mind would refuse you, particularly with the risk of a shoulder dystocia.
Most obstetricians would err on the safe side. (sometimes a good thing, sometimes not)