Opinions if I put my child up for adoption?

[Oliviaemerson]

I'm going to post a question in the adoption part of this website also regarding more information on the actual process. This is just to know some opinions on if this is the right thing to do or abortion/keeping it may be a kinder option.

I'm 19 and 11 weeks pregnant. I only found out 2 weeks ago as I was taking the contraceptive pill. I already have one child (a 1 year old son) I was with my sons father since I was 15 but we broke up after I found out I was pregnant when I was 18. We broke up because he was moving to the other side of the country for work and he wanted me to move with him and attend a uni in his new area, all was good and I intended too but when I found out I was pregnant those plans where ruined as I needed to stay close to family as I knew I couldn't do it alone. He wanted me to abort so we could continue our plans but I couldn't and I kept our baby. He has seen the baby three times since he has been born, he is not interested at all and my little one thinks of my dad as his dad more than his real dad.

I've been seeing some one new for about 5 months and I've found myself pregnant again after contraceptive failure. We are not in a relationship and it hasn't become serious enough to meet the family my son etc we where just Seeing how it went but this has probably ended that now. I told him and he told me to abort and he would be there for me if I did. He said if I kept the child he wouldn't know how he would feel and it would probably be the end of it.

I had a scan the other day due to bleeding and I thought I may have miscarried but I haven't. They gave me a scan photo of a developed little baby and since then I cried and cried and "promised" my baby I would try to sort things out for it.

I'm a uni student and a single mother already, I also suffer from bipolar disorder which is hard enough with out juggling the demands of parent hood and uni. Most days I feel like giving up on uni but I have such good parents that they encourage me and help out with childcare as best they can.

I feel I want to give this baby up for adoption. I feel it's the best option for me, my son I already have and our future and also this babies future as I'm in no place to cope with another little one.

What's your opinions on this? Would it be the right thing to do? I don't know how many people want to adopt but I'm hoping the baby would be a blessing to someone and in return it would get a better life than I could give it.

I have a friend who was adopted at near birth. She had a wonderful childhood and has an amazingly close and loving relationship with her adoptive family.

She traced her birth mother when her own mother died and was devastated to discover that her birth mother had a toddler who she kept while friend was given up for adoption. Utterly devastated. She had a story in her head of how it had been for her mother and this was shattered by the reality.

This all happened many years ago and its much more likely that some sort of ongoing contact would happen in your situation, but there are more people than you and your baby involved here - you have a child who will have a sibling whether they live with them or not. In your situation I would keep the baby.

My friends experience was the same as what sleepyhead describes, the bio mother kept another child and my friend simply could not process that.

It's all well and good to see this as an altruistic thing where a desperate family get to love a baby, but you have to consider the impact on the child. Obviously with abortion there will be no child in the first place but how you feel about that depends on how you view abortion

If you cannot bring the baby up the best option is to give it up for adoption. There are many many families who would love a child of their own. A newborn would be adopted quickly, not spend years in care.

All the best.